BNSS 1C Personal Recount
Dearest 1C,
Please upload your personal recount by clicking the "comments" link at the end of this post.
Please include your NAME, REGISTER NUMBER, CLASS and WORD COUNT.
Remember to check FOUR times:
1. First for content (how can I make it more interesting?)
2. Secondly, for vocabulary (can I use better words? eg. best friend vs beloved pal)
3. Thirdly, for grammar
4. Lastly, spelling
Please include the following remark at the BEGINNING of each post:
- "I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
Thank you.
posted by AL @ 3:27 PM
124 Comments:
Hi Mr Lau! This is me Syed(36) from 1c! I am going to write a (fake)sad story about me ^-^ This is where it starts...The Sun was baking the Earth. I had promised my best friend, Farhan, to meet him at the classroom on a saturday morning to make a project about volcano, so I ask him to bring penknife, and some other things that are related to make a volcano.
So the day came, I met Farhan at the classroom as I promised him. We planned everything before we start, then we started making the volcano. I started cutting a bottle to make the base of the volcano, but out of the blue Farhan scared me from behind and I by accident threw the knife on his face. So blood came out from his face profusely.
Upon seeing the traumatic incident, I was dumbfounded for a few seconds... After i recovered from that shock, I did not know what to do and I just ran away cowardly. A teacher saw me running and she came to me and asked me "why are you running?" I was lost for words. The same thing happened, I just ran away. The teacher was suspicous of me and went to the classroom which I came out from. To his horror, he saw Farhan laying in a pool of blood, unconscious. He then dialled for the ambulance using his handphone.
Farhan was sent to the hospital. After the next two days,it was monday. And so as usual, I went to school. I saw two policeman at the assembly place. They saw me and approached me while glarring daggers at me. I ran with a frightening look on my face. As I ran, the police were shrinking to ants until they could not be seen. I ran at full pace and did not quite see where I was headed to.
The next thing I know was feeling dizzy after banging into someone and that someone was another policeman with Farhan beside him having an extremely horrible scar on his face. It was the end for me! I was sent to be questioned by the police. I just told the truth.
Luckily for me I was given a last warning but my friendship with Farhan had been put to an end. From that moment on, I had learnt that friendship takes a lifetime to build but seconds to destroy.
Hey Mr Alvin Lau!! This is my homework. Aminuddin 1C (20)
Beads of perspiration trickled down my cheeks as I trudge my way home. I was from school. My bag was heavy and I felt like carrying tons of bricks. The sky was fine and the sun was covered with dotted magnolia clouds. Out of a sudden, it began to rain so I ransacked my bag and fished out my pink Pokka dot umbrella.
Then I dashed to a bus-stop nearby. The rain was heavy and soon thunder could be seen. When I reached the bus-stop, I was drenched from head to toe. I could not return home as the rain was too heavy and the lightning can strike any time so I waited for the bus. I was shivering as it was so cold.
There is a man who was standing near a tree beside the bus-stop. He was dressed shabbily. To my deepest horror, the lightning struck the tree where the man was standing and the branches of the tree pierced through his chest. He was bleeding profusely. He was yelling and groaning in pain. Some motorist who was riding their bike on the road slowed down to catch a glimpse of the horrific accident. The people who were at the bus-stop were panic-stricken. Some froze and broke out in cold sweat. Without wasting a second, I summoned an ambulance. The man looked at me and asked me what my name is. I felt so weird.
‘My name is Rico Sonar,’ I told him.
After 10 mins, I looked at the man and he was going to die. In nick of time, sirens of ambulance could be heard and it was like music to my ears. Paramedics arrived and brought the injured man to the hospital hurriedly.
After a few weeks, I read the newspaper that my mum had bought for me. There is an article about the accident. The man who was injured has recuperated.
He said ‘I want to thank a boy name Rico Sonar because without him I would have leaved my family.’
I felt delighted after reading the article. I had saved a stranger. I just felt so delighted reading the last sentence of what the man said.
‘I look different now but I cannot change the past, I had to turn over a new leaf.’
Dearest Masters Aminuddin & Syed,
I'm afraid you let several grammatical and spelling mistakes slip past you.
As mentioned in class, please check the third and fourth time for grammar (past tense please) and spelling respectively.
Please upload the corrected version this weekend.
Thank you.
PS: Syed, you spelt Monday as monday. Please use capital letters for proper nouns (ie. names of days, people, things and places).
PPS: Amin, the past tense of leave is not "leaved".
Mr Alvin i have corrected my mistakes and this is my new compo.
Amin 1C (20)
Beads of perspiration trickled down my cheeks as I trudged my way home. I was from school. My bag was heavy and I felt like carrying tons of bricks. The sky was fine and the sun was covered with dotted magnolia clouds. Out of a sudden, it began to rain so I ransacked my bag and fished out my pink Pokka dot umbrella.
Then I dashed to a bus-stop nearby. The rain was heavy and soon thunder could be seen. When I reached the bus-stop, I was drenched from head to toe. I could not return home as the rain was too heavy and the lightning can strike any time so I waited for the bus. I was shivering as it was so cold.
There is a man who was standing near a tree beside the bus-stop. He was dressed shabbily. To my deepest horror, the lightning struck the tree where the man was standing and the branches of the tree pierced through his chest. He was bleeding profusely. He was yelling and groaning in pain. Some motorist who was riding their bike on the road slowed down to catch a glimpse of the horrific accident. The people who were at the bus-stop were panic-stricken. Some froze and broke out in cold sweat. Without wasting a second, I summoned an ambulance. The man looked at me and asked me what my name is. I felt so weird.
‘My name is Rico Sonar,’ I told him.
After 10 mins, I looked at the man and he was going to die. In nick of time, sirens of ambulance could be heard and it was like music to my ears. Paramedics arrived and brought the injured man to the hospital hurriedly.
After a few weeks, I read the newspaper that my mum had bought for me. There is an article about the accident. The man who was injured has recuperated.
He said ‘I want to thank a boy name Rico Sonar because without him I would have left my family.’
I felt delighted after reading the article. I had saved a stranger. I just felt so delighted reading the last sentence of what the man said.
‘I look different now but I cannot change the past, I had to turn over a new leaf.’
381 words
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong of 1C...i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
After school,i when to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday is coming.After i bought the present,i decided to have my lunch before going back.As i was having my lunch,i saw my best friend "David".We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind is stunned and i fainted.When i wake up,i saw nothing as the place is very dark.Then i heard someone calling my name.It was my friend.I try figiting but both my arms and legs hurts.I was nervous as my mind is empty.My friend keep talking to me as he know i in pain and do not want me to end my life just so easy.I really do not know what to do when i heard someone hand phone rang and it was then i found out it is my.I was glad that it is not spoilt and i can call for help but i can't even move my hands and legs.I can heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it is very far from me. I feel like ending my life but i keep hearing David nagging at me and suddenly he stop nagging at me as he told me that he had no more energy to nag at me and ask me to keep awake myself.I saw something was walking towards me,i thought i am dead and the spirits had come fetch me but it was some helper who is going to save us.When they were going to save David,David shouted to save my life first as i am in pain but he is even worst ,he was badly injured.I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David,he was dead.I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth.I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me.I can't control myself and ran out to him,i cried out with tears all over my face.I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics.The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.After 3 months,i had recovered and the terrorist is caught,jail,caned and to be hanged to death and every Qing Ming festival and his death date i will pray for him to rest in peace.Until now i still blame myself for my wrong act,i should have let him being save first as he is in even more pain than me do.After that day,i work hard to achieve his and my goals.I really went to university and did not let him and my parents down...
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Essay: Topic – Excited for New Year!
Chinese New Year is around the corner, everyone is preparing for the day. Buying new clothes, bags, shoes and changing to a new hairstyle. Some people, like my grandmother, prepare delicacies such as pineapple tarts, cakes, biscuits and agar-agar to serve visitors. Visitors often bring home some of it to eat. Everyone thinks that my grandmother’s is the best; I could not help but agree.
I went to shopping malls to shop for clothes yesterday. I bought a lot of things and had a hard time carrying them back home. My legs were aching after walking for the whole day.
A week ago, I helped my grandmother to bake pineapple tarts after I reached home from school. I helped to put pineapple on the tarts. It was so fun! At night, I helped her to pack the pineapple tarts into containers with my sister.
The next morning, I accompanied my grandmother to the wet market to stock up food for the reunion dinner. We bought shrimps, chicken, fish and scallops. Then, we went to the supermarket to buy some abalone. My house’s fridge is almost full! My relatives are all coming to my house to eat reunion dinner. I’ve always enjoyed reunion dinners as they are meaningful and the whole family can gather together to celebrate Chinese New Year.
My family stays at home on the first day of Chinese New Year every year, as my relatives come on the first day. My grandmother, sisters and I will serve food and chat with my relatives and they will give us red packets! It was always fun. On the second day, my mum normally brings my sisters and I to my aunt’s house and we will eat ‘yu sheng’. We will mix everything together using chopsticks. Then we will go up, down, up and down. My cousins and I nicknamed ‘yu sheng’ as ‘up, down, up, down’. We will always go home after midnight.
This is the end of my ‘Excited about Chinese New Year’s essay. Hope it isn’t too short Sir. :)
HaikelAzizie (1C)
Happiness. I have a story to tell you. It is about ‘Happiness’. I had experience this when I got my PSLE result. It was 10 pm when I’m still in bed. I woke up at 10.30 then I went to take my shower. Then it was 10.45. I change my school shirt and comb my hair. Then at 11.30 I leave my house. Then I took MRT to Simei and took bus number 5.
When I arrived at school, I assemble at the hall. I was totally late. The first thing the principal said as she’s the one is addressing, ‘Well done to all Primary 6 students, you all had passed your PSLE.’ I was shocked and my eyes started to wet.
After the principal talk, I and my class were sent to the class. I was struggling. When I’m at class, I struggle more. Actually I was not. I was making noise with my friends. But I’m scared. My heart beat started to beat faster as a cheetah. Then my teacher, Mrs. Quek, announced that some of us include me, done well for science but bad for some other subject.
When my teacher gave out the result, I was shocked that I got 188. I’m the top 10. Just kidding. I won the best pupil in class. He got 187. I got to Express/Na stream. Then my teacher sent us to the canteen to go home. I ran to my family and said that I got to Express/Na stream. But the saddest is, I don’t get to my dream school. It was Pasir Ris Secondary School. Oh it was sad, oh it was sad when I don’t get to my dream school.
283 word
Hello Mr Lau I am Valerie Chua from 1C(18). I am going to tell you a (fake) sad story which happened to me a few years ago...
We had been the best of friends - we shared all our secret dreams, thoughts and feelings. Ever since we had first sat next to one another in Primary One, Sara and I had found in one another the love and care that our busy parents had not the time to provide. We spent all our available time together and doing homework. Suddenly, we did not mind so much that our parents gave us no more then a cursory glance each night at bedtime. Together, we even adopted a stray dog, which we named Tiger.
But things were not to stay that way. We had only a glorious period of six years together before Sara’s parents decided that a divorce was the only way to settle their differences. Without any consideration at all for Sara’s preferences or feelings on the matter, they went ahead with the arrangements, leaving Sara to be consoled by me. There was very little I could do except provide Sara with the only source of stability she could hope for now. Sara knew that their friendship went beyond mere friends and it anchored her in times of distress and trauma.
But this was not to be the end of Sara’s problems. Before her wounds over the divorce could heal, her mother (who had custody over her) decided that a change of scenery would be a welcome move. She thought not at all about whether it would be welcomed by Sara. Sara was left to pack up amidst tears and a heart breaking. She could not understand why her mother would be so cruel.
On the day of her departure, Sara hugged Tiger and I, unwilling to let go the two of us, who formed the foundation of her young life. But the time came for her to let it all go. The last words that came out from Sara’s mouth were, “I’ll come back and see you. Wait for me!” I held on to Tiger and sobbed my heart out. I remembered Sara’s promise and clung on to that hope. I knew that Sara would definitely return.
The years passed and I grew up to be an independent girl. Sara and I carried on our friendship through letters and telephone calls. In the years that we had to grow up alone, we relied on this correspondence to sustain ourselves. Sara had still not come back to see me, bogged down as she was by he college involvements and growing disenchantment with her mother’s flirtatious entanglements. But she resolved to return to Singapore to see her best friend. It was a promise she was determined to keep.
The weather had still not cleared. I stood still, mesmerized by the brown leaves being flung relentlessly against the clod hard stone. Sara was supposed to return last week, but had not. I could feel the familiar feeling of disappointment hardening into a knot of anger and hate. Sara had not kept her word. Clinging on to that, I refused to entertain the memory of the telegram that had arrived a week ago, even if it had explained why Sara would never return. Even if it was because Sara had died in a car accident on the way to the airport.
Hi Mr Lau, this is Haziq Ariffin (26). Here’s my story :
Sadness, a feeling or spell of dismally low spirits, that was what I felt when I heard the news that my beloved grandmother was killed in an accident five years ago.
That day, all of my family members and my grandmother were out for a wedding .I did not follow them because I need to do my revision as PSLE was just around the corner .My maid was also at home doing some chores. As I was all wound up in revising, when the suddenly house phone rang. I answered and it was my father. He told me to meet him at the entrance of a nearby hospital and instructed my maid to accompany me. I was puzzled, why out of all places, he told us to meet him in a hospital. But since he sounded serious I did not question more. My maid and I got ready in a jiffy. We flagged a taxi and told the driver to g to the hospital. I paid the fares using money my pocket money.
When we had arrived there, my father was at the entrance looked grim He brought us to a ward. At the ward, I saw my mother, uncle and aunty. Their faces were grim. I saw my grandmother lying down on a bed. My mother told me that my grandmother was killed in an accident. I was hysterical. I could not believe it. It was only a moment ago that I felt her hands hugging me. After I had calmed down, my father told me what had happened.
While he was driving, a young boy dashed across the road, so he swerved to the right and hit a tree. My grandmother was thrown off the car and hit her head on the ground. My parents only had some bruises but my grandmother head was bleeding non-stop, so they had to bring her to the hospital. She was dead by the time they had reached there.
Now, I am still sad because I had lost the person who had always pampered me and showered me with the love that I can never forget. Sadness is what I endure whenever I remember my grandmother.
Hi Mr lau.forgotten to put my name:tan ko hui(15)
The thunderstorm made the night scarier than it already was. I shivered, clutching onto my blanket real hard. The only question on my mind is ‘when is Mom and Dad coming home?’ My parents were away for a business trip in Austria and will be back in two weeks time. My parents hired a babysitter for me though but she behaved like an irresponsible idiot who I truly hate. She started by inviting her friends over and they would party all night. They would then sneak into the Mum’s and Dad’s master bedroom to tell ghost stories or either to doll their selves up using Mum’s dresses and accessories.
I tried to fight for justice once with them but I was forced to build a soil + bugs castle instead. That was just not my day. Amazingly, today was different; they went out to catch a concert by Busted which happens to be my favorite band too. As usual they would not budge even if I were to kneel in front of them which is likely not going to happened because that would only make me a laughing icon.
And I was left ALONE at home. I wiped my tears soon after they left. As I turn around to get to bed, I found something amiss. The hallway was spookier than it usually was. I shivered. On spur of moment, I heard aberrant sounds coming from the kitchen.
My imaginations run wild at once and I zoom up the staircase and into my room to get on to the bed. Like magic, it started raining. I feared because of the loud booming sound that the thunderstorms make when they strike. That was when I started thinking about when are Mom and Dad coming home.
The chilly air gave me just the right temperature to make me doze off. Surprisingly, it did. But that was nothing; I was awaken by a tapping sound. I followed the sound to find myself looking out of the window. I saw a white figure fly past me.’ Oh My Gosh! ‘I thought. “BANG BANG BANG!” my bedroom door was being knocked. I felt a cold sweat run down my spine, but managed to say Georgia is that you?!” with a tremble in my voice. It was not working; because the door knocked louder I was afraid and wailed. I heard someone laughing, and it sounded familiar.
Suddenly, the door opens slowly. I stopped crying. I knew it had to be a person not a ghost as his or her laughter sounded familiar. “Aha!” Georgia plunged onto me. I was shocked; my heart beat faster than it usually was. “You scared me! And what are you doing here instead of the concert?” I hollered. “Hey, that was not the end of it until you started wailing like a baby! You are a coward and a stupid one at that!” she replied. “You are a big fan of Busted but you cannot even remember their concert date which is apparently tomorrow, 12 of December.” She added. I thought for a moment and realized that she was right. Georgia grinned at me. “Well, I am sorry, for not being a good babysitter and to pay back for my irresponsible attitude, I will bring you to the concert tomorrow.” I gave her a hug. And from that day onwards, our friendship grew.
Thank You. Story authored by Nuril Fatimah(12)
This comment has been removed by the author.
HellO! MrLau this is David (Kyaw Set Lwin - 29) from 1C.Here's my Story :
In a fresh early morning I was awake by the noice of TV and woke up to find out whats on the TV , Its was Channel NewsAsia and I heard that on year, 2012, its the end of world. I thought I was dreaming and I gave a slap on my face but it wasn't a dream , I heard there will be lots of natural disasters starting from year 2011 until year 2014 and many livings things will die like what happened before dinosaurs extinct but I just ignored the news,2 years have passed so fastly and there was earthquakes in China and Japan Tornados in America and Canada , Tsunami in India and Indonisia.
More then TRILLION OF PEOPLE DIED. The whole world was in chaos. I was so sad and I was looking at the stars and saw a shooting star and more and more shooting stars appeared in the skys and hit the earth and made a big explosion and shakings. Everyone was running everywhere, and shouting "SpaceRocks!" And everything went black.(I fainted)When I became concious, I realized that I was in a hospital. A Doctor came to my bed and I asked the doctor, "How's my family?" and he said, "I'm sorry, your whole family is gone." I was speechless.....I couldn't do anything but cry.There were only about milion people left on earth and also some animals and plants.THE END.
(HaHa^.^..... if there is any mistake please help me) Hope this won't happen for real :D and if you would like to know more about Year 2012 (the end of the world) in the internet(I don't know its real or not) Visit this web to see the Videos [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SzUMUMl81s ]Thank you! :D C:
Shawn Goh(34) FAKE STORY
FEAR
Ring .....my handphone rang. I answered it. It was Julian, my classmate. He asked if I could go over to his house to complete the science project that was due in a week. I obliged immediately.
An hour later, I was standing before Deer Mansion, a towering apartment building and as I stepped into the lift lobby, I realised my plams had become sweaty. I wondered how I would reach the eighteenth floor where Julian lived.
Anxiety overwhelmed me; hence ,I waited to see if anyone would come by and accompany me into the lift. Yes, I suffered from claustrophobia! I feared being confined in a lift. Minutes ticked by, unfortunately, no one came along. Therefore, I had no choice but to enter the lift, all by myself.
As the huge steel doors opened, I entered the cave-like lift. The floor had stains and litter strewn around. One or two buttons were even missing ; thus ,I let out a sigh when button 18 was there. I pressed and the doors slammed shut. The lift shuddered and began to ascend. I looked up and noticed the floors moving slowly.
Suddenly, the lights flickered and terror seized me. I wondered what was going on. My heart beated fast and i felt suffocated. “ Am I going to end my life in this lift?” I thought.
The lift reached the twelfth floor, then the fourteenth. Unexpectedly, the lift vibrated violently and came a halt. I froze. The blinking lights went out. “When could I get out of the place?” I wondered.
The next moment, the lift decended rapidly for a few seconds, then it hit the ground hard. I stood motionless. I became desperate and started pressing all the buttons, hoping to get the emergency button. After several moments, I succeeded to find it.
Minutes later, I heard a male voice, “Hello, is anyone there?” I responded desperately. “Don’t worry, help will come soon!” assured the voice. Only then , a gave a sigh of relief overwhelmed me. I waited patiently for the rescue to come.
Moments later, the doors opened. I saw the world again. A crowd had gathered at the lobby, curious to know what was going on. Indeed, a few retrieved their handphone to take photograph of me, struggling out and assisted by the civil defence officers. I borrowed a handphone from a passer-by and called Julian. “Forget it, I am never coming to your home again, we’ll complete the project in school.” I hung up the phone.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hi, this is Siyun, register 18. And this topic is about happiness.
"One more minute left and I will turn thirteen years old! Ten more seconds left to 12am! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Yes! I'm officially a teenager now!" I thought to myself. I received countless messages wishing me a Happy Birthday after the countdown. (51 words)
I decided to turn in as it was already 12am plus, and I thought there would be more surprises coming up tomorrow from my parents. "Hey! Wake up! It is already 11am!" My mum yelled at me. "Alright, alright.. five minutes more please." I got out of my bed unwillingly. (50 words)
Breakfast was as usual, two fried eggs, a harsh brown and a packet of milk - nothing special. I sighed over and over again because I anticipated that this morning's breakfast might be slightly different and hopefully unique just for me as it was my birthday. But to my utmost disappointment, it was nothing much. (54 words)
"Daddy! Do you remember what date it is today?" "I'm not sure my dear, what date is it?" "It's okay, nothing special." I controlled my tears, I bit my lips, I put on a strong front. I did not want to cry in front of them. (46 words)
After breakfast, I locked myself in the room. Reminiscing the past few years when my parents celebrated my birthday together with me, I can't stop the tears from rolling down my face. How could they possibly forget such an important date when I'm their only child? (46 words)
I fell asleep as I was too tired of crying and finding reasons to delude myself that they had forgotten my birthday unintentionally. "Hey Fiona! Your friends are here! What are you doing in the room? Come out and greet them! You are the birthday girl!" My mum announced as she knocked on the door. I jumped out of my bed and ran out immediately upon knowing about it. (69 words)
All of my friends were laughing at me as I came out. I guess it was because I was unprepared. I rushed to the bathroom. I sulked as I found out the reason to their laughter. It was all because of my messy hair! I prepared myself before I could be seen, I thought I looked hideous before the preparations. (60 words)
"Welcome, everyone, oh yes, to my birthday party! I look better now, don't I?" Everyone laughed again, they sang me a birthday song as my parents came out from the kitchen with an ice-cream cake from Swensens. I was surprised realising that they had been putting up a show since morning. After having the cake, we had fast food delivered from KFC. It was rather a memorable day for me though I was malcontented at the beginning. (77 words)
453 words in all.
Hello Mr. Lau!!! My name is Carolyn Teo from Sec 1C register number 17. My topic for this story is ‘’Terrified’’.
I LOVE travelling around the entire world but my biggest dream is to go out to the city and meet diverse cultures, perhaps Tokyo, Korea and many other alluring countries. Indeed it came true but there’s more than what I expected…
‘’Guys, guess what?’’ Dad asked in a mysterious voice. ‘’What? ‘’ we replied. ‘’WE ARE GOING TO NEW YORK TOMORROW FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!’’ ‘’HUH?!?! You can’t be serious. ‘’ shouted my big brother, Kayden. We cease our games and stared blankly at him, hoping to have a reasonable answer. ‘’Well, it’s so called a business trip for me but a holiday for u guys.’’ Dad exclaimed. I rushed back to my room to avoid any confusion. I packed my luggage with three times the amount of clothing’s of what I normally bring on a normal holiday.
Today’s the day!! The day of my first trip to a city country!!! I’m so exited!! We got in a taxi and off we go to the airport. The flight is at 6am but we have to reach there at one hour earlier to go through the custom. Unfortunately, we arrived at the airport at 5.45am which is 45 minutes late just because everyone except for me took a longer time to get ready!!! What’s worst is that the queue at the passport checking station is very LONG! Finally we got out of the custom and had 5 minutes left to catch our flight. ‘’Excuse me sir, where do I find Gate 65?’’ Dad muttered. ‘’ Just walk straight and turn to your left. ‘’replied the security guard. We ran as fast as we could like a snake striking at a mouse.
Just as we were about to rush into Gate 65, a group of foreigners who were coming out, pushed us away and close the gate. They were armed with pistols and rifles. ‘’EVERYBODY GET DOWN OR I’LL SHOOT!!!’’ shouted the terrorists. Cold sweat runs down my cheeks as I watch the scene. I began thinking of how we are going to outsmart them to let us go as they look quite thickheaded. Kayden told me that he hidden a three pen knifes in his bag with many tissue papers around it to not let it get confiscated by the police officers. He brought it because he had an art project to finish. He handed each of them to my dad and a guy beside him telling him the plan to tackle the terrorist. Luckily my Dad was a police officer before and quitted after a bad injury. ‘’ONE, TWO, THREE!!! GOOOO!!!’’ They ran as fast as they could and grabbed their necks with the pen knife below it.
The security guards handcuffed all three of them and there’s only one route for them, JAIL. The police department thanked us for our braveness. They even asked my father to come back and become a police officer again. The three terrorist eventually spent their entire life in jail. As for our trip to New York, it was cancelled until further notice.
Maybe, we should think out of the box of what is going to happen next and bring pen knifes along every time!!!! :D
Hi Mr Alvin!I am going to relate to you about my essay titled “Happiness”.It was actually my journey to Tioman Island a year ago. It was 3d2n holiday. I went the with my uncle and my family.Here is the essay.
On June 16 2008,my family set up as early as 5.30 in the morning for the trip and departed from home to someplace in Orchard but I couldn’t remember what was the name of the place to take a coach to Endau,somewhere in Malaysia.We departed from Singapore was about 7am if I could still remember.The journey was about 4 hours++.It was so tiring.I slept in the bus.
Finally at about12pm++,we finally reached the jetty terminal at Endau,somewhere in Malaysia.We queued up for the tickets to for to ride into the ferry and for the marine park tickets.I was eager as it was my first time having a taking a ferry ride!After waiting for about half and hour,we boarded into the ferry.I actually had a headache because the ferry was moving.At the same time,I enjoyed the sceneries of the attractive islands .
Finally we reached the Island.The first thing that was in my mind was about snorkelling .We finally checked into the room.The name of the resort was Paya beach Resort.The room was not that bad and the most awful thing was that the toilet in my room was spoiled! I was was fuming and saddened .So I demanded my parents for the change of room.
Yeah!!!I got another room.Then,we went to rent the snorkeling equipment and spent the day exploring around the island.
The next day after having a light breakfast,we went snorkeling.I was elated when we ride into the boat.The situate that we went snorkeling was in the middle of the sea.I felt nervous and I could visualize how deep the water was.But,we were wearing lifejackets.But at the same time,the seawater was very pure and if you look at it,it is not unfathomable. After the briefing,everyone started going down to the sea.I started wearing the snorkeling mask. I went down and I slipped through the short ladder.It was very greasy.I went into the deep into the water and went afloat again.I realized that my legs were floating. I panicked and I grabbed my father’s hands and my father told me to calm down. I relaxed my mind and took in a deep breath. Everything went back normal.
Yeah!!!I’m in the central of the sea!My mother had sea motion sickness and had forgotten to take her medicine.She actually vomited at the sea and all the fishes crowded at her throw up. She stayed in the boat and the rest of us continued snorkellling.Wow!I really admired the beauty of the nature .The corals were multicolored and the fishes were all in diverse sizes.After snorkeling for two hours,we headed to the marine park to continue snorkeling.(We were given another 2 hours of another snorkeling).The fishes were very immense. I threw some bread at my brother and he shouted as all the fishes(The fishes were very big) crowded around him for the bread.That was the best part!We threw breads at each other and we swam.My mother was no longer dizzy after her bite of ice kachang there.(there were were few shops there)Then,we went back to the jetty and went into our room and took a bath and change.Then,we have lunch.After that we changed back and headed to the rockfall.(located in the forest)We were terrified after seeing a group of monkeys.We then took a stick brought it all the way to the rock fall .The water was so chilly. It was like clear water.The moment I stepped into the water,all my tension disappeared and I relaxed.It was very peacefull.After that,we went to our room and changed again.Then,we took our afternoon snooze. After that we walked along the beach and the jetty.We fed the fishes.I reflected that it was magnificent to spent time with family and all the fun that we have gone through togather was all the moment of happiness.The next day,we went back home.I am looking forward to go there again.
Nur Syafiqah(11)1c
This story about murder story.it has a mixture of different feelings.it of course not true.
On a hot and sunny afternoon as i was going back from school,i saw my uncle,Nelson age forty-three years old.He look like trailing an old Man. I asked him what are you doing .he just igored me and walked off hurriedly.I felt agitated as he refused to tell me what is he doing.i was curious what he was doing so i followed him sliently watching his very movement gave myself away when he knocked over some old newspaper left outside and tripped and hit his face on the ground and some teeth fall out of his mouth.then looked at me and banged my head leaving a bump on my head.i was forced to be send home.
my uncle is a full-time detective.he has a only daughter named florence aged sixteen.her mother died when she was young.as for me, i am just free-loading in the house.my parents went on a oversea trip to japan. they will be coming back in two week time.that very night, florence cooked a home-made dinner for three of us.later that night i slept peacefully that night.
Three days after that night,there was a festival at queenstown at a clear clearing called the the fire festival.some people are having a whale of their time and other had started burning some firewood and the last one is alearly burned. When they saw a unidentified figure in the fire.then the police came and the burned bodyand said this was a murder case.when the media catch of this information and broadcast immediately and it showed while I was eating my food and my uncle nearly choked when they showed the picture and named.the victim named was Ryan aged forty-two years old.
we were called the very next day by the police asking for helped to investigated this case.when we got there ,we saw a cancer looking man stand by the chief police.he was given the insurance money of the dead man. then my uncle was shocked because that man hired him to trailed the victim.he did that because he was being followed by someone.the insurance money was five billion dollars because they make bet who will live the longest and sadly the victim loses.
the man,roy aged forty-two,has gone oversea on a holiday with his friends.the time was between the murder took place time.he was going to use the insurance money to repay a debt after that he will travel the world.i was asked to hold a paper bag and i was curious and took peek in and accidentally dropped the document inside.there was picture of roy taking picture of his friends and each picture have a clock as if he wanted to proof his abili.there was some other pictures that were taken before the victim was killed.the notice a very strange way the victim was acting,.the Monday and Tuesday photo his has him using his right hand to eat and Wednesday he was using his left hand in every photo.
i looked at the time and quickly called a cab and went down to the airport because Roy flight is going leave very soon.i confronted him in fornt of the airport as he was running to the airport. i told him that he was the murder beacause you killed him before you buried in the pile of firewood when there is no one around.you have imposter to dressed like the victim and run around all daylong but he made one grave mistake is that the victim is a right-handed person.and the imposter’s a left-handed person.then he stayed slient for awhile and laughed and confessed he killed ryan himself.i recorded this on tape which i serectly hide in my pocket and he heard my clinking sound and noticed a tape in pocket.he was furious tried to kill me but luck was on my side,that the police came looking for me and noticed Roy strangling me.he was caught for attempting to murder and murder so he was jailed for life.i gave a sigh of relieve.
i was given a bump on my head for running out and getting all the credit to myself by my uncle. i guess all well,end well.i learned my lesson for not being to full of myself. THE END:) thank you for reading my story.
Clarissa hui (5) 1 C
Hi teacher,my compo is about sadness and happiness.I am kenchan from sec 1 c.(623 words).
‘Help! Somebody save me!’ cried the dazzling princess. The Evil witch said to the princess,’ All I wanted was your magnificent face and I will not hurt you my dear and after I completed my voodooism,
I will switch your face with mine!’ laughed the evil witch. ‘NO! Please NO!’ begged the princess. The witch said,’ It will not hurt a bit my dear.’ After that, the witch left the putrid room.
Soon the news of the missing attractive princess is spread over the kingdom of cessation. The majesty is much tormented about his own daughter’s impregnability. The empress tried to confess majesty to cede a reward that can find the princess and also the reward includes their half of their kingdom and could take the hand of the princess.
While spreading the news, there was a warrior whose swordsmanship has reached the highest level of training who is called Ken. He went to the king and announced, ‘I will go and rescue the princess and bring her back protected.’ ‘First, I will thank you first for your bravery. Next, is there any thing that I could do for you?’ ‘Yes, my lord, could you take care of my slumping mother? She needs somebody to take
of.’ ‘That will be dandy with me.’ ‘Then, I am off.’
Although the journey was difficult, Ken finally reached the witch’s castle. On the midway, he met an aging woman begging for food. He did not ponder and fleetly gave the woman his own food. The woman was thankful for Ken giving to her. She gave her ring to Ken and said, ‘this ring can help to reach to the safely.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Welcome and farewell.’ She in a flash, flied away.
Outside the castle there was a dragon keeping guard outside. Ken takes out his sword, made of crystal, charge at the dragon. The dragon was caught off guard and was slain in a flash. Ken quickly went into the castle and found out that the princess was in a torture room. Oh my god! The princess’s body was full of slashes and the face was not charming any more. The face was an old hag!
Ken could not believe this! He quickly pick the princess up and to his horror, the princess fainted without saying anything……. He quickly, with the princess, dashed out of the putrid room. But he was halt by a guard- and foul ogre. He quickly takes out his crystal sword and start battling with the ogre. The battle was a gripping fight. Ken almost died. He quickly took the princess out of the putrid room. Suddenly, he was halt by the witch. He took out his sword and battle with the witch. When the princess woke up, she saw ken standing up, while the witch was slain. She said, ‘wow my hero you had saved my life!’ exclaimed the princess. But the scene was not what the princess wanted…..
Ken was dripping with blood. He felled down without saying a word. The princess quickly knelled down beside Ken. Tears started to drip down the princess’s eyes. The tears dripped on Ken’s eyes and instantly, the tears had saved Ken’s life!! After defeating the witch, the princess’s was back to normal! He sat down beside the princess’s side and they went back to the kingdom. The kingdom was celebrating the hero’s return. The king announced that Ken shall marry the princess. Ken was very jubilant for receiving the princess as his bride. After that, Ken treated the kingdom with peace. And he did.
A Sad Bad Experience
Dear Mr Lau,
I am Lim Wan Sin from Secondary 1C,register no.9. I’m going to share with you my sad bad experience. The story started...
I used to have outstanding results since primary one and a positive attitude towards everyone. Everybody got along well with me. However, things began to change when my grandfather passed away a few years ago.
My relationship with my grandparents is adored. I could still remember the times when I was still a little child and my beloved grandfather would drive me on the motorbike around the neighbourhood and I would be sitting in the basket, enjoying the view and cool wind. Now that one of my devoted kin had passed away, the downcast “me” stopped the studying routine . The funeral wake was two weeks before my parents went to Malaysia to content some business work.
My results started to drop drastically! One day after school, I was loitering around the void deck when I saw a group of secondary students smoking and drinking. One of them was taking drugs!
As I was going to drift away without being noticed, a boy caught hold of my shoulder and he demanded me to join the gang. Out of the blue, a girl handed out a pill of drug and told me to swallow it. She said that once I ate it, my trouble and unhappiness will be gone. I will feel so like I’m in cloud nine!
Feeling that there would be no harm trying one, I took that piece of ‘pill’. As I was about to put it in my mouth, I heard a piercing voice “Police! Freeze!”. I dropped the pill and dashed off with the gang. As I was one of the slow runner, the police soon caught up with me. Not knowing that there was a can in front of me, I trip and fell to the ground. My head hit the ground hard and I went unconscious.
When I awaken, I found myself in the police station, and beside me were my parents. They looked relieved but also disgruntle. They concede that they did not squander much time on me and my school work. They guarantee me that they would disburse more time on me from then on. But me as their child, agreed to continue study and work hard.
Lek Wan Qing 1C
Sadness
I am a fan of Fahrenheit. Their songs are awesome. I love one of their song very much. It is " Special Audience". I love one of their members a lot. His name is Chun. He is from Brunei. From what I know , he do not know how to speak his Brunei language , he only knows Chinese. He loves sports a lot. He plays basketball , bowling , and others. He got this charming look which makes me feel for him. On 19 December 2008 , was their concert , but i did not went. I did not went to the concert because I did not have money to buy the tickets. Even when they are at IMM , I could not go. What a pity! Their third album , " Loving you more and more " , came out on 2nd January 2009. I did not bought the album. For the same reason , I did not have the money. I went to Suntec City Mall yesterday with my family. After shopping for New Year clothes , we went into a CD shop. I saw Fahrenheit's album and their doll / figure. It is so cute! I asked my father whether can I buy the doll or the album , but all parents' answer are the same. No. I asked my brother , but answers are all the same. NO! I left the shop with a sorrowful face. Leaving the shop more than a metre away , I turned my head around and said : " I WILL GET BOTH THE ALBUM AND DOLLS ONE DAY! " I wonder when will they come to Singapore again? Really want to go to their concert.
(Note:i'm doing this on the behalf of the maths rep)
Hi Mr Lau...
I want to share to you about what had happened
to me on 5th of april 2007.... "Have you packed your luggage for tommorow?"my father question me. "Yes,of course!I cannot wait for tomorrow," i answered excitedly.I reminded myself to have an early night so that i will not feel so sleepy when i wake up tomorrow. After a short hours of sleep,"Rise and shine!"my mother wakes us upto make sure that we are not late for the vacation.I felt so sleepy and lifeless but i force myself to because i cannot wait to celebrate my birthday at 'Ktm Resort'.I quickly go to shower and get myself nicely dressed up.After we had our breakfast,we meet with my father's friend who is coming along with us too.Alright,let's cut the story short! A few hours later,here we are at 'Ktm Resort'.
We went to the lobby to collect our hotel keys.When we were walking, the view was a very a breathtaking without much further a do we took pictures and videos.Then,when i want to peep though the door to have a look of our room they did not allow me to do so."Strange!"i said.Then i keep on looking at the nice view then all of a sudden,"Nurul,you want to go in the hotel room right?You may see it now,"they said.I quickly run to the hotel door and open."What?Is this real?"i asked with full of surprise. I was surprised when i saw the surprise birthday party that they have put for me.I love my family..THE END..-Nurul Khairina (14) 1c
Hi Mr Alvin Lau! This is Min Min. I want to write a story about ‘HAPPINESS’. Last year, on the day we get PSLE result, my friends and I nervous before we got our result. At that moment of time, I fear that I will do badly for PSLE.
At about 12p.m, our principal came in to talk about our progress. He announced that our school actually had improved in our progress tremendously. When heard it, I was so happy that I nearly jumped up.
When the time has came, all of us had butterflies in our stomach. Turn by turn, I waited for my turn. Each time, my heart pump very fast. Finally, my turn arrived. My form teacher praised me as my math had improved from C during prelim exam to a B during PSLE. The reason why I was happy was that math has been my weakest subject. Every time, I always get C for my math and now I get a B. Not only, I was happy about my math, I was happy about my overall result and that I was given a choice to choose which stream I want.
After the result, it was time to choose my school. After several thought, I decided to go to for express stream. This is why I decided to put Bedok North as my first choice was because that the school was near house and I believe that it will had the potential to produce good student. I believe that as a student, I had the capably to work hard and study well and that Bedok North will give me a brighter future in achieving my goal. Thank you.
Wednesday, 17th January 1996, was the day when a girl, whose identity would not be revealed for now, made her grand entrance into a planet called, earth, from her mother's, 'THINGY'. She made her grand entrance by crying and crying non-stop until the doctor cleaned the blood from her body, gave her injections, medicines and blah blah blah...
After a few months, this very girl started learning how to crawl and only saying, 'GOO-GOO,KAKA'... Baby talk... After a few years, she learnt how to walk and not to talk baby language anymore. Of course, with the help of her parents. After the years had gone by, she started dreaming, thinking she was going to be a princess or a queen one day... HAHA!! But that cannot happen in reality. She was always the tallest girl in her class. She felt very sad and different because, the rest of her friends and classmates were shorter than her. She was very sad!! AWWWW..... When she was 9 years old, a few students transferred into the same school as her and she was overjoyed because, the girls were taller than her. HAHA!
This very girl's life was going great! She had good grades, good friends and was very popular in her primary school. She had the most perfect life ever! Until 8th January 2007. It was the worst day of her life! She lost someone near and dear to her heart. Her grandfather. Her grandfather passed away due to lung cancer. She loved him so much! She did not even believe he was gone! It took her a long time to accept the truth.
After the death of her grandfather, things started to get bad. One of her uncle got into an accident and another of her uncle got caught drinking and driving and was fined $5000. But her uncle is a very rich man. So it's not a problem for him to pay the fine. Things got even more worst when this girl's parents started fighting a lot and even talked about getting a divorce. They were so close to getting one but later decided not to do so.
As this girl always was there to experience her parents fight, she got more worried, distracted and could not concentrate on her studies. This made a great impact on her studies such that, during the year of her PSLE, she did quite bad for her preliminary exam and she was not too pleased with her PSLE grades and marks even though she got into the express course for her secondary school. After so much has happened, she decided to forget about everything and start a new. This girl's father promised her that he would be back before her birthday, which is in 2 days, as he is always not in Singapore and has no time for his family. And she is sad about it. Now, the only thing she wants to see is if her father would keep his promise. 'This girl's' identity remains a mystery. (For now)
-Daman(1) 504 words class-1-C
Have you ever shed tears of joy? Have you ever been unable to take care of your happiness that you were given? I want to call it ‘Ecstasy’. I have experienced it four times. As if by magic, they happened, on every time, during singing. Although I like singing, they were the long arm of coincidence. They were not the tears of the gold medal winner. They were also not the tears of the actress who is given ‘the Academy Award’. The tears were not the fruits of my effort. It was like catharsis about myself. It can be also about my surroundings or emotion. It is just from thanks for everything.
I shed the first tears of joy when I was thirteen. I was at karaoke in Korea with my friends. We were singing together. I was blissful. I thanked all of my friends who were there every time I wanted to be with them. My legs’ strength was gone, my tears came to my eyes.
The second tears of joy also were come out at karaoke. For a while, my best friend, Esooda and I were become estranged each other by others’ alienation. I frequently went karaoke with her, so I did not go there during our ‘cold time’. Finally I became thick with her again. We went karaoke as in the past, we sang the song that we had sang in the past. I cried again. I was happy as I could feel the ‘Ecstasy’
The third tears of joy were come out at drum concert that our drummers’ club held. I also played a song I practised hard. When the finale of the concert, the best drummer of our club played his song. Our all club members went mad with singing and jumping. Although his song was ended, we were still heated, we shouted an encore. The song was played again, we started to jump again. The tears suddenly welled up in me.
The last tears of joy I experienced were come out at the church in Singapore. I had not gone to church for a while in Singapore. One day, I went to church. I did not know why I had to go there. I just think I had to go to church. Before the worship, we chanted hymns. I was tranquil. Then I shed tears. I did not know why. I just cried. It could not be explained.
I think these stories are weird, but only thing I can say is that they are true. I think music can kindle people’s emotion and it can move people’s heart.
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong of 1C...i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
After school,i went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday is coming soon.After i bought the present,i decided to have my lunch before going back.As i was having my lunch,i saw my best friend "David".We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind is stunned and i fainted.When i wake up,i saw nothing as the place is very dark.Then i heard someone calling my name.It was my friend.I try figiting but both my arms and legs hurts.I was nervous as my mind is empty.My friend keep talking to me as he know i in pain and do not want me to end my life just so easy.I really do not know what to do when i heard someone hand phone rang and it was then i found out it is my.I was glad that it is not spoil and i can call for help but i can't even move my hands and legs.I can heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it is very far from me. I feel like ending my life but i keep hearing David nagging at me not to close my eyes and suddenly he stop nagging at me then he told me that he had no more energy to nag at me and ask me to keep awake myself using his un-energetic voices.I saw something was walking towards me,i thought i am dead and the spirits had come fetch me but it was some helper who is going to save us.When they were going to save David,David shouted to save my life first as i am in pain but he is even worst ,he was badly injured.I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David,he was dead.I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth.I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me.I can't control myself and ran out to him,i cried out with tears all over my face.I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics.The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.After 3 months,i had recovered and the terrorist is caught,jail,caned and to be hanged to death and every Qing Ming festival and his death date i will pray for him to rest in peace.Until now i still blame myself for my wrong act,i should have let him being save first as he is in even more pain than me do.After that day,i work hard to achieve his and my goals.I really went to university and did not let him and my parents down...
Mr lau, i forgot to tell you this is the number 1.1
Dearest Goh Cheng Hong,Lek Wan Qing, Lim Wan Sin, Clarissa Hui, Nur syafiqah, Haziq Ariffin, David, Nuril Fatimah,
Your recounts need to be written in paragraphs.
For those who have written your recount in paragraphs, the last few paragraphs are too long.
Please split the long paragraphs into two or more paragraphs.
Write about one topic for each paragraph please!
If you are quoting people, please start each quote as a new paragraph.
It is much easier to read shorter paragraphs.
Please edit your recounts and submit them as Version 1.1 or 1.2.
Thank you.
There once was a magic tree in the middle of Kasharine.Kasharine was the name of my home town.The tree was just magnificent.It had big jewels for flowers and gold for tree bark.Its leaves were money!You could imagine the temptation to take the things from the tree.However,rumor has it that if you take things from the tree,bad things will happen to you.How did the rumor come around u ask?Well,there used to be a mischievious boy many years ago.He suddenly disappeared one day.It was said that he disappeared right after he plucked the biggest jewel from the tree.They said that the jewel was as big as the size of your fist!Of course after that story,nobody even touched the tree.
My grandmother told me many stories of the tree.She always warned me never to touch the tree.I was fascinated yet curious.Later in the afternoon,i went to the town square to watch the tree with the other children.All the children was as facinated as I was.All of us have noticed that no animal nor insect have ever went near it.It was also never dirty.It looked like it was glowing all the time.
Soon,it was time to go home.All the other children had left.I was the only one there.I stared the tree for a while,then I got closer to the tree.Curiosity finally got the better of me.I plucked just the tiniest pice of the leaf from the tree.Suddenly,I began to shrink!
"Help!Help!",I screamed.Nobody came but I continued to scream due to the horror.I continued to shrink until I became the size of a pea.Everything around me looked so huge.I began to cry.I soon realized that crying will not solve the problem.The sun was down and the moon was shining brightly.I tried to find a place to sleep.I remembered that a month ago I had helped my mum grow some red roses in the garden.I smiled.I quickly made my way to the garden.However,the house seemed so far away!It took me about 45 minutes to walk to the garden.By the time I got there,I was breathless.
I lay at the steps of the house.I heard someone crying in the house.There was a small hole in the door.It was'nt big enough to for me to go through but it was big enough for me to peep through .In the house i saw my mum crying.My dad was trying to calm her.She was sitting next to the telephone.I assumed she called the police.I felt really bad.I had disobeyed my grandmother and made my mum cry .
I walk to the back of the house where the garden was and climbed the stalk of a rose .I finally reached the flower.I pushed away the petals to get to the middle of the rose.I plucked a petal from the rose and covered myself with it.It was really comfortable.I soon dozed off.
"Pitter,Patter,Pitter,Patter"sounded the rain .I woke up with a fright."Oh no,"I thought to myself. "What am I going to do?"I jumped down from the rose and landed with a 'splash!'I realized that the water was up until my waist."Eeekkk!"I screamed.I could'nt swim.I waded in the water.I tried to get to higher ground.I almost reached the steps but the water is up until my chin!Moments later my head was under the water.I kicked and kicked.Suddenly,everything went black.Did I die?
I woke up and realized I was dreaming!I live in Singapore not Kasharine and there is no magic tree.I laughed at myself for my silliness.I opened my windows and floral patterned curtains.The first thing I saw,was a rainbow .It was rather a beautiful rainbow i might add.It had rained the night before!
THE END
PS:the story is not true.it is rather childish.i read 2 much enid blyton books :).
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong of 1C...this is the 1.2 version ,i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
After school,i went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday is coming soon.After i bought the present,i decided to have my lunch before going back.As i was having my lunch,i saw my best friend "David".We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind is stunned and i fainted.
When i wake up,i saw nothing as the place is very dark.Then i heard someone calling my name.It was my friend.I try figiting but both my arms and legs hurts.I was nervous as my mind is empty.My friend keep talking to me as he know i in pain and do not want me to end my life just so easy.I really do not know what to do when i heard someone hand phone rang and it was then i found out it is my.I was glad that it is not spoil and i can call for help but i can't even move my hands and legs.I can heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it is very far from me. I feel like ending my life but i keep hearing David nagging at me not to close my eyes and suddenly he stop nagging at me then he told me that he had no more energy to nag at me and ask me to keep awake myself using his un-energetic voices.I saw something was walking towards me,i thought i am dead and the spirits had come fetch me but it was some helper who is going to save us.When they were going to save David,David shouted to save my life first as i am in pain but he is even worst ,he was badly injured.I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David,he was dead.I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth.I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me.I can't control myself and ran out to him,i cried out with tears all over my face.I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics.The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.
After 3 months,i had recovered and the terrorist is caught,jail,caned and to be hanged to death and every Qing Ming festival and his death date i will pray for him to rest in peace.Until now i still blame myself for my wrong act,i should have let him being save first as he is in even more pain than me do.After that day,i work hard to achieve his and my goals.I really went to university and did not let him and my parents down...
I check checked my spelling ,Vocabulary,grammar and content ,sir
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong of 1C...this is the 1.2 version ,i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
After school,i went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday is coming soon.After i bought the present,i decided to have my lunch before going back.As i was having my lunch,i saw my best friend "David".We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind is stunned and i fainted.
When i wake up,i saw nothing as the place is very dark.Then i heard someone calling my name.It was my friend.I try figiting but both my arms and legs hurts.I was nervous as my mind is empty.My friend keep talking to me as he know i in pain and do not want me to end my life just so easy.I really do not know what to do when i heard someone hand phone rang and it was then i found out it is my.I was glad that it is not spoil and i can call for help but i can't even move my hands and legs.I can heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it is very far from me. I feel like ending my life but i keep hearing David nagging at me not to close my eyes and suddenly he stop nagging at me then he told me that he had no more energy to nag at me and ask me to keep awake myself using his un-energetic voices.I saw something was walking towards me,i thought i am dead and the spirits had come fetch me but it was some helper who is going to save us.When they were going to save David,David shouted to save my life first as i am in pain but he is even worst ,he was badly injured.I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David,he was dead.I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth.I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me.I can't control myself and ran out to him,i cried out with tears all over my face.I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics.The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.
After 3 months,i had recovered and the terrorist is caught,jail,caned and to be hanged to death and every Qing Ming festival and his death date i will pray for him to rest in peace.Until now i still blame myself for my wrong act,i should have let him being save first as he is in even more pain than me do.After that day,i work hard to achieve his and my goals.I really went to university and did not let him and my parents down...
I check checked my spelling ,Vocabulary,grammar and content ,sir
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong of 1C...this is the 1.2 version ,i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
After school,i went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday is coming soon.After i bought the present,i decided to have my lunch before going back.As i was having my lunch,i saw my best friend "David".We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind is stunned and i fainted.
When i wake up,i saw nothing as the place is very dark.Then i heard someone calling my name.It was my friend.I try figiting but both my arms and legs hurts.I was nervous as my mind is empty.My friend keep talking to me as he know i in pain and do not want me to end my life just so easy.I really do not know what to do when i heard someone hand phone rang and it was then i found out it is my.I was glad that it is not spoil and i can call for help but i can't even move my hands and legs.I can heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it is very far from me. I feel like ending my life but i keep hearing David nagging at me not to close my eyes and suddenly he stop nagging at me then he told me that he had no more energy to nag at me and ask me to keep awake myself using his un-energetic voices.I saw something was walking towards me,i thought i am dead and the spirits had come fetch me but it was some helper who is going to save us.When they were going to save David,David shouted to save my life first as i am in pain but he is even worst ,he was badly injured.I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David,he was dead.I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth.I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me.I can't control myself and ran out to him,i cried out with tears all over my face.I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics.The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.
After 3 months,i had recovered and the terrorist is caught,jail,caned and to be hanged to death and every Qing Ming festival and his death date i will pray for him to rest in peace.Until now i still blame myself for my wrong act,i should have let him being save first as he is in even more pain than me do.After that day,i work hard to achieve his and my goals.I really went to university and did not let him and my parents down...
I check checked my spelling ,Vocabulary,grammar and content ,sir
Dear Culprits,
There are still many students who still write without paragraphs.
It is clear that many have not checked your recount carefully for grammar and spelling.
At the beginning of your recount, please insert the declaration that you have checked it four times (refer to my original post for the exact words).
Thank you.
yo mr lau!this is yeo pei le from1c(19)and i would like to share with you a fake horror story.please call me esther cause that is my christian name.i don't like being called pei le.thank you.even if my writing is good,please do not share this with the whole class for I am really embarrassed if you did.
Part1 A few friends and I were playing in a deserted field when Anastasia accidentally kicked the ball too hard that it flew over my head and rolled away rapidly . sarah rested her hands on her waist and anastasia asked me to find the ball."don't you worry,i will get the ball."replied sarah as she tapped my shoulder and ran to the direction where the ball flew.it was really getting late and sarah has not came back with the ball.as the sun went down,Anastasia and I became really worried.”maybe we should go and take a look….what if something happened to sarah?!how are we going to explain to her parents and everybody?”pondered Anastasia when she nudged my arm.i,myself, was also worried but I tried to remain calm and composed .” okay .we should go and find her .but should we wait for shirley to come as well?she said that she would meet us here.”I suggested as Anastasia hesitated for awhile and shook her head with a worried look on her face .i had the same expression on my face as well.the wind blew when Anastasia and I walked towards the direction where sarah and the ball went.after walking and walking ,it seems like hours when we spotted a black and white round thing rolling and rolling on the grass .anastasia picked up the ball and brush away all the dirt on it .the ball is here but where is sarah? anastasia knew what was on my mind and she took out her phone and dialed sarah’s number .chills went down my spine when I saw that abandoned mansion .the paint was already peeling and the mansion looked rather haunted . anastasia on the other hand was rather irritated.sarah did not pick up the phone.”that abandoned mansion is not haunted ,don’t you worry .there were no reports on any murder cases.”well,not that I know.”assured Anastasia as she dialed sarah’s number again.the wind was picking up and the sun has already set .i faced the mansion and heard a familiar sound carried by the wind.it sounded like sarah’s favourite song.-to be continued(sorry mr lau but I could not finish for I have to sleep right now.i promise I will finish it!+.+
Dear Pei Le,
I'm puzzled and deeply perturbed with how you have ignored all my instructions in class. :(
You clearly have not done the following:
1. write your recount in PARAGRAPHS
2. check recount four times - firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar, and lastly for spelling.
3. declare that you have done no. 2
Please check your recount for mistakes (and there are numerous mistakes like "i" instead of "I", "sarah" instead of "Sarah", "shirley" instead of "Shirley", beginning a new sentence with "but", not capitalising the first word of a new sentence after a full stop).
Upload the edited version as version 1.1 by Sunday, 010209 please!
I am YingYu from 1C...
The Unnatural Power
When I was born, I am different from other children. Normally, the babies always cry when they were born, but I was laughing. My mother always thought that I am an oddness girl. I do not need to eat too much, but I was grown healthily. When I was about nine years-old, I realized that I had a super power!
It was a sunny Sunday, everything was usual, I was lying on my bed and felt very sleepy. I was thinking that if someone could turn on the computer for me, I would very happy. Suddenly, the computer was working by itself, I was shocked and felt amazing! I had been read some books that about “the unnatural power” before, but it was real happened, I felt very surprised! When I was thirsty, the water will automatically flow to the cup and it will “fly” towards me. I can control everything if I want! I quickly called my best friend and told her this amazing thing!
Everyday, when I wake up, I do not need to pack my bag, it will do automatically. The bread and milk will “float” in the air, I do not need hands to hold it.
One sunny afternoon, when I was about to across the road, I saw two men were snatching an old lady’s handbag and run away. I used my “super power” to move the big stone in front of the men and they were falling onto the floor. I passed the handbag to the old lady and call the police. The old lady run towards me and thank me gladly, it seems that the handbag was very important to the old lady.
I think God gave me this power is for me to help other people, I should use it in the correct ways.
I have checked my work four times, once for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar, and lastly for spelling, BEFORE submitting it.
302words...
sorry for not finishing my story.by the way,I have not finish my story so did not write that i checked it four times.but I today do not have time so maybe tommorow I would go to the library again to finish it.please do not scold me for I am a careless girl.thank you for your attention
Hi Mr Lau this is Blog ambassador Tham Kunyuan of row 2 from the door.this is V1.1.
I’m going to tell you of my happiness due to the jokes the time I started watching animation(anime) with Japanese audio but with English subtitles.Currently I check about 11 animation series everyday ^_^.Each episode of the series is about 20 minutes or so.Some have Prequels(the part before this series) and Sequels(the part after this series).Some have OVA which I don’t even know what it means^_^.Okay here it goes.
It started in Primary 4 when I was in Telok Kurau Primary school located beside the coffee shop at Block 121,4 blocks in front of my house,Block 125.My friend,Zhan Jie introduced me to One Piece, a boy named Monkey D.Luffy, grandson of Admiral Garp of the Marines and has a brother named Monkey D. Ace, a person who has eaten the Devil’s Fruit(or they call it “Akuma no mi”) of fire, which allows him to turn any part of his body into fire. On the other side, Luffy ate the “Gomu Gomu no mi”(rubber fruit) which made him into a rubberman. The only way to kill a person who has eaten the Devil’s Fruit is to sink them as they are hammers in the water. Starting from scratch,Luffy started his journey to the great treasure, One Piece. Eventually, he got nakama(crew) on his journey and to the part I’m waiting for, his crew consists of 4 Devil Fruit users each unique to each own. For example Brook, the living skeleton had ate the Yomi Yomi no mi, which allows him to revive himself when he is dead.
-----The end----
273 words
Declaration:I have checked my work four times,firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Oh sorry i forgot my register number.
It is Tham Kunyuan(35) for new and Tham Kunyuan (38) for old
nur syafiqah 10 1c
Hi Mr Alvin!I am going to relate to you about my essay titled “Happiness”.It was actually my journey to Tioman Island a year ago. It was 3d2n holiday. I went there with my uncle and my family.Here is the essay.
On June 16 2008,my family set up as early as 5.30 in the morning for the trip and departed from home to someplace in Orchard but I couldn’t remember what was the name of the place to take a coach to Endau,somewhere in Malaysia.We departed from Singapore was about 7am if I could still remember.The journey was about 4 hours++.It was so tiring.I slept in the bus.
Finally at about12pm++,we finally reached the jetty terminal at Endau,somewhere in Malaysia.We queued up for the tickets to for to ride into the ferry and for the marine park tickets.I was eager as it was my first time having a taking a ferry ride!After waiting for about half and hour,we boarded into the ferry.I actually had a headache because the ferry was moving.At the same time,I enjoyed the sceneries of the attractive islands .
Finally we reached the Island.The first thing that was in my mind was about snorkelling .We finally checked into the room.The name of the resort was Paya beach Resort.The room was not that bad and the most awful thing was that the toilet in my room was spoiled! I was was fuming and saddened .So I demanded my parents for the change of room.
Yeah!!!I got another room.Then,we went to rent the snorkeling equipment and spent the day exploring around the island.
The next day after having a light breakfast,we went snorkeling.I was elated when we ride into the boat.The situate that we went snorkeling was in the middle of the sea.I felt nervous and I could visualize how deep the water was.But,we were wearing lifejackets.But at the same time,the seawater was very pure and if you look at it,it is not unfathomable. After the briefing,everyone started going down to the sea.I started wearing the snorkeling mask. I went down and I slipped through the short ladder.It was very greasy.I went into the deep into the water and went afloat again.I realized that my legs were floating. I panicked and I grabbed my father’s hands and my father told me to calm down. I relaxed my mind and took in a deep breath. Everything went back normal.
Yeah!!!I’m in the central of the sea!My mother had sea motion sickness and had forgotten to take her medicine.She actually vomited at the sea and all the fishes crowded at her throw up. She stayed in the boat and the rest of us continued snorkellling.Wow!I really admired the beauty of the nature .The corals were multicolored and the fishes were all in diverse sizes.After snorkeling for two hours,we headed to the marine park to continue snorkeling.(We were given another 2 hours of another snorkeling).The fishes were very immense. I threw some bread at my brother and he shouted as all the fishes(The fishes were very big) crowded around him for the bread.That was the best part!We threw breads at each other and we swam.My mother was no longer dizzy after her bite of ice kachang there.(there were were few shops there)Then,we went back to the jetty and went into our room and took a bath and change.Then,we have lunch.After that we changed back and headed to the rockfall.(located in the forest)We were terrified after seeing a group of monkeys.We then took a stick brought it all the way to the rock fall .The water was so chilly. It was like clear water.The moment I stepped into the water,all my tension disappeared and I relaxed.It was very peacefull.After that,we went to our room and changed again.Then,we took our afternoon snooze. After that we walked along the beach and the jetty.We fed the fishes.I reflected that it was magnificent to spent time with family and all the fun that we had gone through togather was all the moment of happiness.The next day,we went back home.I am looking forward to go there again.
Declaration:I have checked my work four times,firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
FEAR
Ring .....my handphone rang. I answered it. It was Julian, my classmate. He asked if I could go over to his house to complete the science project that was due in a week. I obliged immediately.
An hour later, I was standing before Deer Mansion, a towering apartment building and as I stepped into the lift lobby, I realised my plams had become sweaty. I wondered how I would reach the eighteenth floor where Julian lived.
Anxiety overwhelmed me; hence ,I waited to see if anyone would come by and accompany me into the lift. Yes, I suffered from claustrophobia! I feared being confined in a lift. Minutes ticked by, unfortunately, no one came along. Therefore, I had no choice but to enter the lift, all by myself.
As the huge steel doors opened, I entered the cave-like lift. The floor had stains and litter strewn around. One or two buttons were even missing ; thus ,I let out a sigh when button 18 was there. I pressed and the doors slammed shut. The lift shuddered and began to ascend. I looked up and noticed the floors moving slowly.
Suddenly, the lights flickered and terror seized me. I wondered what was going on. My heart beated fast and i felt suffocated. “ Am I going to end my life in this lift?” I thought.
The lift reached the twelfth floor, then the fourteenth. Unexpectedly, the lift vibrated violently and came a halt. I froze. The blinking lights went out. “When could I get out of the place?” I wondered.
The next moment, the lift decended rapidly for a few seconds, then it hit the ground hard. I stood motionless. I became desperate and started pressing all the buttons, hoping to get the emergency button. After several moments, I succeeded to find it.
Minutes later, I heard a male voice, “Hello, is anyone there?” I responded desperately. “Don’t worry, help will come soon!” assured the voice. Only then , a gave a sigh of relief overwhelmed me. I waited patiently for the rescue to come.
Moments later, the doors opened. I saw the world again. A crowd had gathered at the lobby, curious to know what was going on. Indeed, a few retrieved their handphone to take photograph of me, struggling out and assisted by the civil defence officers. I borrowed a handphone from a passer-by and called Julian. “Forget it, I am never coming to your home again, we’ll complete the project in school.” I hung up the phone.
Is Verison 1.1
Word Count: 420
Hi sir! I AM KENCHAN FROM SEC 1 C.
WORD COUNT(623 WORDS).THIS IS VERSION 1.1.
MY COMPOSITION IS ABOUT SADNESS AND HAPPINESS.
‘Help! Somebody save me!’ cried the dazzling princess. The Evil witch said to the princess,’ All I wanted was your magnificent face and I will not hurt you my dear and after I completed my voodooism,
I will switch your face with mine!’ laughed the evil witch. ‘NO! Please NO!’ begged the princess. The witch said,’ It will not hurt a bit my dear.’ After that, the witch left the putrid room.
Soon the news of the missing attractive princess is spread over the kingdom of cessation. The majesty is much tormented about his own daughter’s impregnability. The empress tried to confess majesty to cede a reward that can find the princess and also the reward includes their half of their kingdom and could take the hand of the princess.
While spreading the news, there was a warrior whose swordsmanship has reached the highest level of training who is called Ken. He went to the king and announced, ‘I will go and rescue the princess and bring her back protected.’ ‘First, I will thank you first for your bravery. Next, is there any thing that I could do for you?’ ‘Yes, my lord, could you take care of my slumping mother? She needs somebody to take
Of.’ ‘That will be dandy with me.’ ‘Then, I am off.’
Although the journey was difficult, Ken finally reached the witch’s castle. On the midway, he met an aging woman begging for food. He did not ponder and fleetly gave the woman his own food. The woman was thankful for Ken giving to her. She gave her ring to Ken and said, ‘this ring can help to reach to the safely.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Welcome and farewell.’ She in a flash , flew away.
Outside the castle there was a dragon keeping guard outside. Ken takes out his sword, made of crystal, charge at the dragon. The dragon was caught off guard and was slain in a flash. Ken quickly went into the castle and found out that the princess was in a torture room. Oh my god! The princess’s body was full of slashes and the face was not charming any more. The face was an old hag!
Ken could not believe this! He quickly pick the princess up and to his horror, the princess fainted without saying anything……. He quickly, with the princess, dashed out of the putrid room. But he was halt by a guard- and foul ogre. He quickly takes out his crystal sword and start battling with the ogre. The battle was a gripping fight. Ken almost died. He quickly took the princess out of the putrid room. Suddenly, he was halt by the witch. He took out his sword and battle with the witch. When the princess woke up, she saw ken standing up, while the witch was slain. She said, ‘wow my hero you had saved my life!’ exclaimed the princess. But the scene was not what the princess wanted…..
Ken was dripping with blood. He felled down without saying a word. The princess quickly knelt down beside Ken. Tears started to drip down the princess’s eyes. The tears dripped on Ken’s eyes and instantly, the tears had saved Ken’s life!! After defeating the witch, the princess’s was back to normal! He sat down beside the princess’s side and they went back to the kingdom. The kingdom was celebrating the hero’s return. The king announced that Ken shall marry the princess. Ken was very jubilant for receiving the princess as his bride. After that, Ken treated the kingdom with peace.
Amin(20) 1C version 1.2
Beads of perspiration trickled down my cheeks as I trudge my way home. I was from school. My bag was heavy and I felt like carrying tons of bricks. The sky was fine and the sun was covered with dotted magnolia clouds. Out of a sudden, it began to rain so I ransacked my bag and fished out my pink Pokka dot umbrella.
Then I dashed to a bus stop nearby. The rain was heavy and soon thunder could be seen. When I reached the bus stop, I was drenched from head to toe. I could not return home as the rain was too heavy and the lightning can strike any time so I waited for the bus. I was shivering, as it was so cold.
There is a man who was standing near a tree beside the bus stop. He was dressed shabbily. To my deepest horror, the lightning struck the tree where the man was standing and the branches of the tree pierced through his chest. He was bleeding profusely. He was yelling and groaning in pain. Some motorist who was riding their bike on the road slowed down to catch a glimpse of the horrific accident. The people who were at the bus stop were panic-stricken. Some froze and broke out in cold sweat. Without wasting a second, I summoned an ambulance. The man looked at me and asked me what my name is. I felt so weird.
‘My name is Rico Sonar,’ I told him.
After 10 minutes, I looked at the man and he was going to die. In nick of time, sirens of ambulance could be heard and it was like music to my ears. Paramedics arrived and brought the injured man to the hospital hurriedly.
After a few weeks, I read the newspaper that my mum had bought for me. There is an article about the accident. The man who was injured has recuperated.
He said ‘I want to thank a boy name Rico Sonar because without him I would have left my family.’
I felt delighted after reading the article. I had saved a stranger. I just felt so overwhelmed reading the last sentence of what the man said.
‘I look different now but I cannot change the past, I had to turn over a new leaf.’
385 words
i have checked my work four times. Firstly, for content
Secondly, for vocabulary
Thirdly, for grammar
Lastly spelling.
Hi, this is Siyun, register 18. And this topic is about happiness.
P/S: This is version 1.2.
"One more minute left and I will turn thirteen years old! Ten more seconds left to 12am! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Yes! I'm officially a teenager now!" I thought to myself. I received countless messages wishing me a Happy Birthday after the countdown. (51 words)
I decided to turn in as it was already 12am plus, and I thought there would be more surprises coming up tomorrow from my parents. "Hey! Wake up! It is already 11am!" My mum yelled at me. "Alright, alright.. five minutes more please." I got out of my bed unwillingly. (50 words)
Breakfast was as usual, two fried eggs, a harsh brown and a packet of milk - nothing special. I sighed over and over again because I anticipated that this morning's breakfast might be slightly different and hopefully unique just for me as it was my birthday. But to my utmost disappointment, it was nothing much. (54 words)
"Daddy! Do you remember what date it is today?" "I'm not sure my dear, what date is it?" "It's okay, nothing special." I controlled my tears, I bit my lips, I put on a strong front. I did not want to cry in front of them. (46 words)
After breakfast, I locked myself in the room. Reminiscing the past few years when my parents celebrated my birthday together with me, I can't stop the tears from rolling down my face. How could they possibly forget such an important date when I'm their only child? (46 words)
I fell asleep as I was too tired of crying and finding reasons to delude myself that they had forgotten my birthday unintentionally. "Hey Fiona! Your friends are here! What are you doing in the room? Come out and greet them! You are the birthday girl!" My mum announced as she knocked on the door. I jumped out of my bed and ran out immediately upon knowing about it. (69 words)
All of my friends were laughing at me as I came out. I guess it was because I was unprepared. I rushed to the bathroom. I sulked as I found out the reason to their laughter. It was all because of my messy hair! I prepared myself before I could be seen, I thought I looked hideous before the preparations. (60 words)
"Welcome, everyone, oh yes, to my birthday party! I look better now, don't I?" Everyone laughed again, they sang me a birthday song as my parents came out from the kitchen with an ice-cream cake from Swensens. I was surprised realising that they had been putting up a show since morning. After having the cake, we had fast food delivered from KFC. It was rather a memorable day for me though I was malcontented at the beginning. (77 words)
453 words in all.
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it.
Yo Mr. Lau! I am yee kiat (33) from 1c I’m writing this with Microsoft word I swear! Anyway my story is about fear!(it is written like a diary)(I got the idea from lord of the ring –moria) This story might be a little violent and does not reflects on me and 1 more request dun call me master sia, my name is yee kiat .Now the story begins……………..
2036-july23
Its 5 days till I lead an expedition to reclaim the city that was build 20 years ago but sunk underground in a explosion that caused it to sink 6000ft. The city‘s nuclear plant which sunk with the city and corrupted the living things in it and formed a mutant civilization. The last expedition team was missing and never came back. But I and my crew are not afraid as we got all the state of the art weapons, wish us good luck…………….
2036-july28
Yeh! It’s the day of the exploration! My team consists of 5 people: Carmen, the team medicine specialist, Thomson the weapons expert, and crew member gah and harlot.
We started the mission with a briefing and we entered the city with 2weeks supply of stuff. ……………….
2036-august1st
we have been in the city for 3days so far nothings going wrong and we explored 20%of the city, the city’s landscape is a pile of ruins and gloominess, there is no source of light except from our torches. The skeleton of people who died in the explosion is littered all over the place and the temperature is chilling! It is a place where most people will not even think of coming in but it’s my job…the city’s town square is now but a deep abyss but we spotted a greenish glow coming out the deep and we will be going to explore it tomorrow………..
2036-august2nd
we ventured in to the abyss and everyone was silent with fear……..we got gah to scout ahead of us but after a while he had not come back we got worried so we went to look for him quietly…after about a half a mile, we found gah’s body about a kilometer from the glow, he was mutilated, but is seemed that he was killed instantly by a spear plunged in to his heart. There was no sign of struggle so we knew he died by an ambush…the team is demoralized especially harlot who were like brothers…..we buried him in an unmarked
Grave and continued cautiously…………
2036-august 3rd
its been 4 days seen we last saw sunlight, we reached the glow and we found a bunch of glowing liquid-like solid, that must be what the creatures eat………suddenly something grabbed Carmen and dragged her into the darkness ,we shot at the darkness and heard a snarl it seemed that Thomas and harlot shot it. We moved towards the spot where Carmen
Fell and she miraculously is still alive but the creature seemed to have left a deep gash on her thigh. she said that if she stayed alive she would turn in to one of them, so I took out a pistol and shot her clean in the head, after that I broke down and started to hate this mission, the creature’s body is disgusting and has four eyes a mouth with lots of teethes like an anglefish,we left Carmen’s body and left for the city top in utter silence…………….
2036august9
We covered 60%of the city and spirits are low after 2 death…….as we moved towards a wrecked church and suddenly a lot of mutants rushed out of the church and tried to attack us. We all fired our guns and blasted them with all our might as more of them approached.
We ran in to the church and barricaded the doors and window, all hope seems lost……………we will try to get our way out……..
2036-august 12
supplies getting low, we been getting little sleep and running out of ammo, we try to get out but we don’t get a chance as the creatures keep on coming…….we also heard drums coming from the deep….drums in the deep it seems like a entire battalion of mutants is coming to get us ……we found the bodies of the previous group, they were torn to pieces…..seems like they got trapped here as well…all we think of is what will happen if the supplies run out or the creatures get in? I can’t bear to think of it…………
2036-august 14
The beating of drumming in the deep is driving me mad! We got no hope we will die!!!
The only things we think of is the beating drums in the deep………………..
This is the last entry they ever written, the fate of the explorer is not sure, but they never returned………….
THE END?
LIKE THE STORY A BIT TO LONG BUT I JUST HAVE TO WRITE IT.....
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hello Sir, I am Tan Ko Hui (15) from 1C. There are 433 words. This is version 1.1, focusing on content.
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling before posting it.
Essay: Topic – Excited for New Year!
Chinese New Year is around the corner, everyone is preparing for the day. Buying new clothes, bags, shoes and changing to a new hairstyle.
My grandmother, prepare delicacies such as pineapple tarts, cakes, biscuits and agar-agar to serve visitors. Visitors often bring home some of it to eat. Everyone thinks that my grandmother’s is the best; I could not help but agree.
I went to shopping malls to shop for clothes yesterday. I bought a lot of things and had a hard time carrying them back home. My legs were aching after walking for the whole day.
A week ago, I helped my grandmother to bake pineapple tarts after I reached home from school. I helped to put pineapple on the tarts. It was so fun! At night, I helped her to pack the pineapple tarts into containers with my sister.
The next morning, I accompanied my grandmother to the wet market to stock up food for the reunion dinner. We bought shrimps, chicken, fish and scallops. Then, we went to the supermarket to buy some abalone. My house’s fridge is almost full!
In the afternoon, my grandma baked cakes with help from my sister and I. There were mini and small cakes. I love the mini cakes more as it was small enough for us to pop one into our mouth. We tasted the first badge of cakes after it cooled down and of course, it was delicious! I just love it!
My relatives are all coming to my house to eat reunion dinner. I’ve always enjoyed reunion dinners as they are meaningful and the whole family can gather together to celebrate Chinese New Year.
My family stays at home on the first day of Chinese New Year every year, as my relatives always come on the first day. My sister and I will give two oranges to my mum,grandma and aunt. After we gave them, they will always present us with a red packet. It was always either twenty dollars or ten dollars.
My grandmother, sisters and I will serve food and chat with my relatives and they will give us red packets. It was always fun. When there was no people, we always pinch some snacks to eat.
On the second day, my mum normally bring my sisters and I to my aunt’s house and we will eat ‘yu sheng’. We will mix everything together using chopsticks while shouting some auspicious words. Then we will go up, down, up and down. My cousins and I nicknamed ‘yu sheng’ as ‘up, down, up, down’. We will always go home after midnight. I have always loved chinese new year as we can get money and buy what I want!
Sir, this is the end of my story.
Name: Lim Wan Sin Class: Sec 1C
New register: 8 Old register: 9
Title: A Sad Bad Experience
Dear Mr Lau,
I’m going to share with you my sad bad experience. The story started...
I used to have outstanding results since primary one and a positive attitude towards everyone. Everybody got along well with me. However, things began to change when my grandfather passed away a few years ago.
My relationship with my grandparents is adored. I could still remember the times when I was still a little child and my beloved grandfather would drive me on the motorbike around the neighbourhood and I would be sitting in the basket, enjoying the view and cool wind. Now that one of my devoted kin had passed away, the downcast “me” stopped the studying routine .The funeral wake was two weeks before my parents went to Malaysia to content some business work.
My results started to drop drastically! One day after school, I was loitering around the void deck when I saw a group of secondary students smoking and drinking. One of them was taking drugs!
As I was going to drift away without being noticed, a boy caught hold of my shoulder and he demanded me to join the gang. Out of the blue, a girl handed out a pill of drug and told me to swallow it. She said that once I ate it, my trouble and unhappiness will be gone. I will feel so like I’m in cloud nine!
Feeling that there would be no harm trying one, I took that piece of ‘pill’. As I was about to put it in my mouth, I heard a piercing voice “Police! Freeze! I dropped the pill and dashed off with the gang. As I was one of the slow runner , the police soon caught up with me. Not knowing that there was a can in front of me, I trip and fell to the ground. My head hit the ground hard and I went unconscious.
When I awaken, I found myself in the police station, and beside me were my parents. They looked relieved but also disgruntle. They concede that they did not squander much time on me and my school work. They guarantee me that they would disburse more time on me from then on. But me as their child, agreed to continue study and work hard.
Words: 379
Declaration : I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, SIR!
nur syafiqah 10 1c v1.2
Hi Mr. Alvin! I am going to relate to you about my essay titled “Happiness”. It was actually my journey to Tioman Island a year ago. It was 3d2n holiday. I went there with my uncle and my family. Here is the essay.
On June 16 2008,my family set up as early as 5.30 in the morning for the trip and departed from home to someplace in Orchard but I couldn’t remember what was the name of the place to take a coach to Endau, somewhere in Malaysia.We departed from Singapore was about 7am if I could still remember. The journey was about 4 hours. It was so tiring. I slept in the bus.
Finally at about12pm, we finally reached the jetty terminal at Endau, somewhere in Malaysia.We queued up for the tickets to for to ride into the ferry and for the marine park tickets. I was eager; as it was my first time having a taking a ferry ride! After waiting for about half and hour, we boarded into the ferry. I actually had a headache because the ferry was moving. At the same time, I enjoyed the sceneries of the attractive islands.
Finally we reached the Island. The first thing that was in my mind was about snorkeling .We finally checked into the room. The name of the resort was Paya beach Resort. The room was not that bad and the most awful thing was that the toilet in my room was spoiled! I was was fuming and saddened .So I demanded my parents for the change of room.
Yeah!!! I got another room.Then,we went to rent the snorkeling equipment and spent the day exploring around the island.
The next day after having a light breakfast,we went snorkeling.I was elated when we ride into the boat.The situate that we went snorkeling was in the middle of the sea.I felt nervous and I could visualize how deep the water was.But,we were wearing lifejackets.But at the same time,the seawater was very pure and if you look at it,it is not unfathomable. After the briefing,everyone started going down to the sea.I started wearing the snorkeling mask. I went down and I slipped through the short ladder.It was very greasy.I went into the deep into the water and went afloat again.I realized that my legs were floating. I panicked and I grabbed my father’s hands and my father told me to calm down. I relaxed my mind and took in a deep breath. Everything went back normal.
Yeah!!!I’m in the central of the sea!My mother had sea motion sickness and had forgotten to take her medicine.She actually vomited at the sea and all the fishes crowded at her throw up. She stayed in the boat and the rest of us continued snorkellling.Wow!I really admired the beauty of the nature .The corals were multicolored and the fishes were all in diverse sizes.After snorkeling for two hours,we headed to the marine park to continue snorkeling.(We were given another 2 hours of another snorkeling).The fishes were very immense. I threw some bread at my brother and he shouted as all the fishes (The fishes were very big) crowded around him for the bread. That was the best part! We threw breads at each other and we swam. My mother was no longer dizzy after her bite of ice kachang there. (There were few shops there) Then, we went back to the jetty and went into our room and took a bath and change. Then, we have lunch. After that we changed back and headed to the rock fall. (Located in the forest) We were terrified after seeing a group of monkeys. We then took a stick brought it all the way to the rock fall .The water was so chilly. It was like clear water. The moment I stepped into the water, all my tension disappeared and I relaxed. It was very peaceful.After that, we went to our room and changed again.Then,we took our afternoon snooze. After that we walked along the beach and the jetty. We fed the fishes. I reflected that it was magnificent to spent time with family and all the fun that we had gone through together was all the moment of happiness. The next day, we went back home. I am looking forward to go there again.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
words:744
This comment has been removed by the author.
The tittle is An unforgetable holiday trip
There once was a magic tree in the middle of Kasharine. Kasharine was the name of my hometown. The tree was just magnificent. It had big jewels for flowers and gold for tree bark. Its leaves were money! You could imagine the temptation to take the things from the tree. However, rumor has it that if you take things from the tree, bad things will happen to you. How did the rumor come around you ask? Well, there used to be a mischievous boy many years ago. He suddenly disappeared one day. It was said that he disappeared right after he plucked the biggest jewel from the tree. They said that the jewel was as big as the size of your fist! Of course after that story, nobody even touched the tree.
My grandmother told me many stories of the tree. She always warned me never to touch the tree. I was fascinated yet curious. Later in the afternoon, I went to the Town Square to watch the tree with the other children. All the children were as fascinated as I was. All of us have noticed that no animal nor insect have ever went near it. It was also never dirty. It looked like it was glowing all the time.
Soon, it was time to go home. All the other children had left. I was the only one there. I stared the tree for a while, then I got closer to the tree. Curiosity finally got the better of me. I plucked just the tiniest piece of the leaf from the tree. Suddenly, I began to shrink!
"Help! Help!” screamed. Nobody came but I continued to scream due to the horror. I continued to shrink until I became the size of a pea. Everything around me looked so huge. I began to cry. I soon realized that crying would not solve the problem. The sun was down and the moon was shining brightly. I tried to find a place to sleep. I remembered that a month ago I had helped my mum grow some red roses in the garden. I smiled. I quickly made my way to the garden. However, the house seemed so far away! It took me about 45 minutes to walk to the garden. By the time I got there, I was breathless.
I lay at the steps of the house. I heard someone crying in the house. There was a small hole in the door. It wasn’t big enough to for me to go through but it was big enough for me to peep through .In the house I saw my mum crying. My dad was trying to calm her. She was sitting next to the telephone. I assumed she called the police. I felt really bad. I had disobeyed my grandmother and made my mum cry.
I walk to the back of the house where the garden was and climbed the stalk of a rose .I finally reached the flower. I pushed away the petals to get to the middle of the rose. I plucked a petal from the rose and covered myself with it. It was really comfortable. I soon dozed off.
"Pitter, Patter, Pitter, Patter" sounded the rain .I woke up with a fright. "Oh no," I thought to myself. "What am I going to do?" I jumped down from the rose and landed with a 'splash!' I realized that the water was up until my waist. "Eeekkk!" I screamed. I couldn’t swim. I waded in the water. I tried to get to higher ground. I almost reached the steps but the water is up until my chin! Moments later my head was under the water. I kicked and kicked. Suddenly, everything went black. Am I dead?
I woke up and realized I was dreaming! I live in Singapore not Kasharine and there is no magic tree. I laughed at myself for my silliness. I opened my floral patterned curtains and windows. The first thing I saw was a rainbow .It was rather a beautiful rainbow I might add. It had rained the night before!
This is version 1.1. There are 683 words. I have check 4x firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, SIR!nurul erra 1c
Shawn version.1.2
wordscount:417 FEAR
Ring.....my handphone rang. I answered it. It was Julian, my classmate. He asked if I could go over to his house to complete the science project that was due in a week. I obliged immediately.
An hour later, I was standing before Deer Mansion, a towering apartment building and as I stepped into the lift lobby, I realised my palms had become sweaty. I wondered how I would reach the eighteenth floor where Julian lived.
Anxiety overwhelmed me; hence, I waited to see if anyone would come by and accompany me into the lift. Yes, I suffered from claustrophobia! I feared being confined in a lift. Minutes ticked by, unfortunately, no one came along. Therefore, I had no choice but to enter the lift, all by myself.
As the huge steel doors opened, I entered the cave-like lift. The floor had stains and litter strewn around. One or two buttons were even missing; thus, I let out a sigh when button 18 was there. I pressed and the doors slammed shut. The lift shuddered and began to ascend. I looked up and noticed the floors moving slowly.
Suddenly, the lights flickered and terror seized me. I wondered what was going on. My heart beat fast and i felt suffocated. “Am I going to end my life in this lift?” I thought.
The lift reached the twelfth floor, then the fourteenth. Unexpectedly, the lift vibrated violently and came to a halt. I froze. The blinking lights went out. “When could I get out of the place?” I wondered.
The next moment, the lift descended rapidly for a few seconds, and then it hit the ground hard. I stood motionless. I became desperate and started pressing all the buttons, hoping to get the emergency button. After several moments, I succeeded to find it.
Minutes later, I heard a male voice, “Hello, is anyone there?” I responded desperately. “Don’t worry, help will come soon!” assured the voice. Only then, I gave a sigh of relief overwhelmed me. I waited patiently for rescue to come.
Moments later, the doors opened. I saw the world again. A crowd had gathered at the lobby, curious to know what was going on. Indeed, a few retrieved their handphone to take photographs of me, struggling out and assisted by the civil defence officers. I borrowed a handphone from a passer-by and called Julian. “Forget it, I am never coming to your home again, we’ll complete the project in school.” I hung up the phone.
Lek Wan Qing, 1C (5) Version 1.2
This is a BRAND NEW story and fake.
Title : A Unlucky Day!
The sky was blue, rays of the Sun shone through Yako's bedroom. Yako stood up and took a glimpse at the clock which was hanging high up at the wall. It was half past seven! Yako was late for school! She expeditiously ran to the toilet to change.
While changing, Yako thought what a luck! After she came out of the toilet, it was already seven forty-five a.m. She dashed to her front door, wore her shoes and headed off to school.
Finally, she had reached. What she saw after entering the school was a blank. Every student had gone back to class. She whispered:" What! Was I really that late?!"
She hasted up to her classroom. After stepping in the class, every students started laughing at her, her teacher, Mrs Rina, stared at her deeply in the eyes as though she was going to eat Yako up. Yako shivered a little. Mrs Rina questioned:" Why are you so late? Is already eight o'clock!"
"I woke up late Mrs Rina. Sorry, I will not do it again." Yako clarified.
Yako was still tired. While Mrs Rina was talking, she fell asleep. While Mrs Rina saw her dozing off, she was really furious. She shouted Yako's name loudly until the whole level could hear her voice. Yako was shocked by the sudden voice. Yako was reprimanded by Mrs Rina again.
Its recess time, what Yako was waiting anxiously for. She walked briskly to the canteen. While walking, she muttered:" How unlucky was it to be scolded by Mrs Rina early in the morning!"
She queued up to buy her food. Just as Yako wanted to order her food, a girl in front of her spun around and not holding her bowl properly, she spilled hot soup on Yako's blouse. Yako was fed up. She shouted at the girl so loudly that she almost cried. Yako stomped away.
Just after recess, as Yako returned to class, Mrs Rina tapped her shoulder and said:" I want to talk to you." Her face was full of anger. Yako started to panic. Beats of pespiration trickled down her forehead while Mrs Rina spoke to her.
" I heard that you scolded a girl during recess, and what is that stain on your shirt?" asked Mrs Rina. Yako replied:" This stain was created by that girl. I scolded her for being careless." Mrs Rina started to get more furious as if smokes were erupting from her head. Mrs Rina castigated Yako even more.
Yako sulked. She muttered some vulgarities. She was punished to stay behind to clean up the girls' toilet.
Yako came home late that night. Her parents questioned her.
" Why did you came home so late? Why are you so stinky? ..." asked her mother. She yelled:" STOP BOTHERING ME! I HAD A HARD TIME IN SCHOOL!"
Yako started to throw all her pillow, blanket all this onto the floor. She shouted:" WHAT A ROTTEN LUCK!"
493 words.
Declaration: I had checked my work 4 times. Firstly for content, secondly for grammer, thirdly for vocabulary, lastly for spelling, SIR!
Carolyn Teo (17) Class 1C Version 1.0
My topic for this story is ‘’Terrified’’.
I LOVE travelling around the entire world but my biggest dream is to go out to the city and meet diverse cultures, perhaps Tokyo, Korea and many other alluring countries. Indeed it came true but there’s more than what I expected…
‘’Guys, guess what?’’ Dad asked in a mysterious voice. ‘’What? ‘’ we replied. ‘’WE ARE GOING TO NEW YORK TOMORROW FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!’’ ‘’HUH?!?! You can’t be serious. ‘’ shouted my big brother, Kayden. We cease our games and stared blankly at him, hoping to have a reasonable answer. ‘’Well, it’s so called a business trip for me but a holiday for u guys.’’ Dad exclaimed. I rushed back to my room to avoid any confusion. I packed my luggage with three times the amount of clothing’s of what I normally bring on a normal holiday.
Today’s the day! The day of my first trip to a city country! I’m so exited! We got in a taxi and off we go to the airport. The flight is at 6am but we have to reach there at one hour earlier to go through the custom. Unfortunately, we arrived at the airport at 5.45am which is 45 minutes late just because everyone except for me took a longer time to get ready! What’s worst is that the queue at the passport checking station is very LONG! Finally we got out of the custom and had 5 minutes left to catch our flight. ‘’Excuse me sir, where do I find Gate 65?’’ Dad muttered. ‘’ Just walk straight and turn to your left. ‘’replied the security guard. We ran as fast as we could like a snake striking at a mouse.
Just as we were about to rush into Gate 65, a group of foreigners who were coming out, pushed us away and close the gate. They were armed with pistols and rifles. ‘’EVERYBODY GET DOWN OR I’LL SHOOT!!!’’ shouted the terrorists. Cold sweat runs down my cheeks as I watch the scene. I began thinking of how we are going to outsmart them to let us go as they look quite thickheaded. Kayden told me that he hidden a three pen knifes in his bag with many tissue papers around it to not let it get confiscated by the police officers. He brought it because he had an art project to finish. He handed each of them to my dad and a guy beside him telling him the plan to tackle the terrorist. Luckily my Dad was a police officer before and quitted after a bad injury. ‘’ONE, TWO, THREE!!! GOOOO!!!’’ They ran as fast as they could and grabbed their necks with the pen knife below it.
The security guards handcuffed all three of them and there’s only one route for them, JAIL. The police department thanked us for our braveness. They even asked my father to come back and become a police officer again. The three terrorist eventually spent their entire life in jail. As for our trip to New York, it was cancelled until further notice.
Maybe, we should think out of the box of what is going to happen next and bring pen knifes along every time!
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling
(530 Words)
Hi Mr. Lau! I’m yee kiat and this is my journal diary….. (Fake)
Dear diary today is a creepy day, everything was normal until when I was going home from NCC and as I was walking home, I thought I saw a black figure behind me, I thought it was my imagination and continued on my way home. When I reached home,
I bathed and slept for 2 hours and when to my grandmother’s house for dinner. it was 8 by then, as I crossed the road, I saw something behind me, but it disappeared. When I got
To my grandmother house, I told my grand mother what happened and she being the superstitious person, I was being followed by a lonesome spirit as the spot where I passed by from ncc to home has been a suicide spot. I straight away offered some joss sticks and
Offerings to the spirit. After that I never encountered any lone some spirits anymore, as the saying goes, a person will have a spiritual experience in his or her life……….
Ok end of my story good luck to all of u……………
Word count:190
Name: Lim Wan Sin Class: Sec 1C
New register: 8 Old register: 9
Version 1.2(Vocabulary)
Title: A Sad Bad Experience
Dear Mr Lau,
I’m going to share with you my sad bad experience. The story started...
I used to have outstanding results since primary one and a positive attitude towards everyone. Everybody got along well with me. However, things began to change when my grandfather passed away a few years ago.
My relationship with my grandparents is adored. I could still recall the times when I was still a little child and my beloved grandfather would chauffeur me on the motorbike around the neighbourhood and I would be sitting in the front basket, benefit from the view and cool wind. Now that one of my devoted kin had passed away, the downcast “me” stopped the studying routine .The funeral wake was two weeks before my parents went to Malaysia to content some business work.
My results started to drop drastically! One day after school, I was loitering around the void deck when I saw a group of secondary students smoking and drinking. One of them was obtaining drugs!
As I was going to drift away without being noticed, a boy caught hold of my shoulder and he demanded me to join the gang. Out of the blue, a girl offered a pill of drug and told me to ingest it. She said that once I devour it, my inconvenience will be vanished. I will feel like I’m in the seventh heaven!
Feeling that there would be no harm trying one, I took that piece of ‘pill’. As I was about to put it in my mouth, I heard a piercing voice “Police! Freeze! I dropped the pill and dashed off with the gang. As I was one of the slow runner,the police soon caught up with me. Not knowing that there was a can in front of me, I lost my footing and fell to the ground. My head hit the ground hard and I went unconscious.
When I awaken, I found myself in the police station, and beside me were my parents. They looked relieved but also disgruntle. They concede that they did not squander much time on me and my school work. They guarantee me that they would disburse more time on me from then on. As a child of them, I agreed to continue to persevere.
Words: 424
Declaration : I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, SIR!
Hello, my name is Leong Zhi Cheng and I am going to share my sadness with you.
One cool and placid morning, I was on my way home from school when suddenly a call that made me very astonished yet heartbroken came, it was a call from my mother telling me that my grandfather had passed away. He used to treat us very good and often bought ice-cream for us and also often played with us when we were young he gave us lovely childhood memories. When I heard this news I almost had a nervous breakdown, I broke into tears and my friends all asked me what happened, I related the tragic incident to them and they all told me do not be so heartbroken and also consoled me.
When I reached home, I asked my mother if she was joking, she told me that this kind of things could never possibly be kidding so I went into my room and broke into tears and cried my heart out but after awhile of crying, I stopped crying and played computer to try to console myself and forget about this heartbroken incident. When I probed about how my grandfather died my mother told me that the hospital said he died from a fall and that he was too old to afford to fall.
About a week later we had his funeral at the void deck of his block everybody attended his funeral and we were asked to burn all our 1 cent coins for a reason but up till now I still didn’t know that reason I felt that I wanted to cry when his body was cremated but I didn’t know why but I just couldn’t cry my heart out maybe its because he didn’t want us to be saddened about his death.
Up till today I will still remember all the lovely times we had together and he will always be my well and respected grandfather.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling!
(335)words
Hi Mr. Lau! This is me Syed(36) from 1c! I am going to write a (fake) sad story about me ^-^ this is where it began...The Sun was baking the Earth. I had promised my best friend, Farhan, to meet him at the classroom in the morning to make a project which is making a volcano, so I ask him to bring penknife, and some other things that are related to make a volcano.
I met Farhan at the classroom as I promised him. We planned everything before we start, then we started making the volcano. I started cutting a bottle to make the base of the volcano, but out of the blue Farhan scared me from behind and my hands became butter fingers and by accident, the knife slashed his face! So blood came out from his face profusely.
Upon seeing the traumatic incident, I was dumbfounded for a few seconds... After I recovered from that shock, I did not know what to do and I just ran away cowardly. A teacher saw me running and she came to me and asked me "why are you running?" I was lost for words. The same thing happened, I just ran away.
The teacher was suspicious of me and went to the classroom which I came out from. To his horror, he saw Farhan lying in a pool of blood, unconscious. He then dialed for the ambulance using his hand phone. Paramedics transferred Farhan to the ambulance and sent him immediately to the hospital.
.
Farhan was sent to the hospital. After the next two days, it was Monday. And so as usual, I went to school. I saw two policemen at the assembly place. They saw me and approached me while glaring daggers at me. I ran with a frightening look on my face. As I ran, the police were shrinking to ants until they could not be seen. I ran at full pace and did not quite see where I was headed to.
The next thing I know was feeling dizzy after banging into someone and that someone was another policeman with Farhan beside him having an extremely horrible scar on his face. It was the end for me! I was sent to be questioned by the police. I just told the truth.
Luckily for me I was given a last warning but my friendship with Farhan had been put to an end. From that moment on, I had learnt that friendship takes a lifetime to build but seconds to destroy.
I have checked my work for times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, Sir! (Version 1.2)(44words)
Hi Mr. Lau! This is me Syed(36) from 1c! I am going to write a (fake) sad story about me ^-^ this is where it began...The Sun was baking the Earth. I had promised my best friend, Farhan, to meet him at the classroom in the morning to make a project which is making a volcano, so I ask him to bring penknife, and some other things that are related to make a volcano.
I met Farhan at the classroom as I promised him. We planned everything before we start, then we started making the volcano. I started cutting a bottle to make the base of the volcano, but out of the blue Farhan scared me from behind and my hands became butter fingers and by accident, the knife slashed his face! So blood came out from his face profusely.
Upon seeing the traumatic incident, I was dumbfounded for a few seconds... After I recovered from that shock, I did not know what to do and I just ran away cowardly. A teacher saw me running and she came to me and asked me "why are you running?" I was lost for words. The same thing happened, I just ran away.
The teacher was suspicious of me and went to the classroom which I came out from. To his horror, he saw Farhan lying in a pool of blood, unconscious. He then dialed for the ambulance using his hand phone. Paramedics transferred Farhan to the ambulance and sent him immediately to the hospital.
.
Farhan was sent to the hospital. After the next two days, it was Monday. And so as usual, I went to school. I saw two policemen at the assembly place. They saw me and approached me while glaring daggers at me. I ran with a frightening look on my face. As I ran, the police were shrinking to ants until they could not be seen. I ran at full pace and did not quite see where I was headed to.
The next thing I know was feeling dizzy after banging into someone and that someone was another policeman with Farhan beside him having an extremely horrible scar on his face. It was the end for me! I was sent to be questioned by the police. I just told the truth.
Luckily for me I was given a last warning but my friendship with Farhan had been put to an end. From that moment on, I had learnt that friendship takes a lifetime to build but seconds to destroy.
I have checked my work for times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, Sir! (Version 1.1)(454words)
Hi Mr. Lau! This is me Syed(36) from 1c! I am going to write a (fake) sad story about me ^-^ this is where it began...The Sun was baking the Earth. I had promised my best friend, Farhan, to meet him at the classroom in the morning to make a project which is making a volcano, so I ask him to bring penknife, and some other things that are related to make a volcano.
I met Farhan at the classroom as I promised him. We planned everything before we start, then we started making the volcano. I started cutting a bottle to make the base of the volcano, but out of the blue Farhan scared me from behind and my hands became butter fingers and by accident, the knife slashed his face! So blood came out from his face profusely.
Upon seeing the traumatic incident, I was dumbfounded for a few seconds... After I recovered from that shock, I did not know what to do and I just ran away cowardly. A teacher saw me running and she came to me and asked me "why are you running?" I was lost for words. The same thing happened, I just ran away.
The teacher was suspicious of me and went to the classroom which I came out from. To his horror, he saw Farhan lying in a pool of blood, unconscious. He then dialed for the ambulance using his hand phone. Paramedics transferred Farhan to the ambulance and sent him immediately to the hospital.
.
Farhan was sent to the hospital. After the next two days, it was Monday. And so as usual, I went to school. I saw two policemen at the assembly place. They saw me and approached me while glaring daggers at me. I ran with a frightening look on my face. As I ran, the police were shrinking to ants until they could not be seen. I ran at full pace and did not quite see where I was headed to.
The next thing I know was feeling dizzy after banging into someone and that someone was another policeman with Farhan beside him having an extremely pathetic horrible scar on his face. It was the end for me! I was sent to be questioned by the police. I just told the truth.
Luckily for me I was given a last warning but my friendship with Farhan had been put to an end. From that moment on, I had learnt that friendship takes a lifetime to build but seconds to destroy.
I have checked my work for times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, Sir! (Version 1.3)(462words)
Oi.Yee Kiat u sure u not blind? this is personal recount
Hello Mr. Lau I am Valerie Chua from 1C (18). I am going to tell you a sad story which happened to me a few years ago...
We had been the best of friends - we shared all our secret dreams, thoughts and feelings. Ever since we had first sat next to one another in Primary One, Cassie and I had found in one another the love and care that our busy parents had not the time to provide. We spent all our available time together and doing homework. Suddenly, we did not mind so much that our parents gave us no more then a cursory glance each night at bedtime. Together, we even adopted a stray dog, which we named Tiger.
But things were not to stay that way. We had only a glorious period of six years together before Cassie’s parents decided that a divorce was the only way to settle their problem. They did not care about Cassie’s feelings and went ahead with the arrangements.
But this was not to be the end of Cassie’s problems. Before her wounds over the divorce could heal, her mother (who had custody over her) decided to take her to overseas to continue her studies. She did not even ask Cassie if she wanted to go overseas for her studies and just make the decision herself. Cassie was left to pack up amidst tears and a heart breaking. She could not understand why her mother would be so cruel.
On the day of her departure, Cassie hugged Tiger and I, unwilling to let go the two of us. But the time came for her to let it all go. The last words that came out from Cassie’s mouth were, “I’ll come back and see you. Wait for me!” I held on to Tiger and sobbed my heart out. I remembered Cassie’s promise and clung on to that hope. I knew that Cassie would definitely return.
The years passed and I grew up to be an independent girl. Cassie had still not come back to see me, bogged down as she was by he college involvements and growing disenchantment with her mother’s flirtatious entanglements. But she resolved to return to Singapore to see me, her best friend. It was a promise she was determined to keep.
The weather had still not cleared. I stood still, mesmerized by the brown leaves being flung relentlessly against the clod hard stone. Cassie was supposed to return last week, but she had not. I could feel the familiar feeling of disappointment hardening into a knot of anger and hate. Cassie had not kept her word. Clinging on to that, I refused to entertain the memory of the telegram that had arrived a week ago, even if it had explained why Cassie would never return. Even if it was because Cassie had died in a car accident on the way to the airport.
(486 words)
Declaration: ‘I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir!’
Hello Mr. Lau I am Valerie Chua from 1C (18). I am going to tell you a sad story which happened to me a few years ago...
We had been the best of friends - we shared all our secret dreams, thoughts and feelings. Ever since we had first sat next to one another in Primary One, Cassie and I had found in one another the love and care that our busy parents had not the time to provide. We spent all our available time together and doing homework. Suddenly, we did not mind so much that our parents gave us no more then a cursory glance each night at bedtime. Together, we even adopted a stray dog, which we named Tiger.
But things were not to stay that way. We had only a glorious period of six years together before Cassie’s parents decided that a divorce was the only way to settle their problem. They did not care about Cassie’s feelings and went ahead with the arrangements.
But this was not to be the end of Cassie’s problems. Before her wounds over the divorce could heal, her mother (who had custody over her) decided to take her to overseas to continue her studies. She did not even ask Cassie if she wanted to go overseas for her studies and just make the decision herself. Cassie was left to pack up amidst tears and a heart breaking. She could not understand why her mother would be so cruel.
On the day of her departure, Cassie hugged Tiger and I, unwilling to let go the two of us. But the time came for her to let it all go. The last words that came out from Cassie’s mouth were, “I’ll come back and see you. Wait for me!” I held on to Tiger and sobbed my heart out. I remembered Cassie’s promise and clung on to that hope. I knew that Cassie would definitely return.
The years passed and I grew up to be an independent girl. Cassie had still not come back to see me, bogged down as she was by he college involvements and growing disenchantment with her mother’s flirtatious entanglements. But she resolved to return to Singapore to see me, her best friend. It was a promise she was determined to keep.
The weather had still not cleared. I stood still, mesmerized by the brown leaves being flung relentlessly against the clod hard stone. Cassie was supposed to return last week, but she had not. I could feel the familiar feeling of disappointment hardening into a knot of anger and hate. Cassie had not kept her word. Clinging on to that, I refused to entertain the memory of the telegram that had arrived a week ago, even if it had explained why Cassie would never return. Even if it was because Cassie had died in a car accident on the way to the airport.
(486 words)
Declaration: ‘I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir!’
A faithful Truth
Wednesday, 17th January 1996, was the day when a girl, whose identity would not be revealed for now (Fairymoiel), made her grand entrance into a planet called, earth, from her mother's, 'THINGY'. She made her grand entrance by crying and crying non-stop until the doctor cleaned the blood from her body, gave her injections, medicines and blah blah blah….
After a few months, this very girl started learning how to crawl and only saying, 'GOO-GOO, KAKA’. Baby talk... After a few years, she learnt how to walk and not to talk baby language anymore. Of course, with the help of her parents. After the years had gone by, she started dreaming, thinking she was going to be a princess or a queen one day... HAHA! Of course, that cannot happen in reality. She was always the tallest girl in her class. She felt very sad and different because, the rest of her friends and classmates were shorter then her. She was very sad! AWWW... When she was 9 years old, a few students transferred into the same school as her and she was overjoyed because, the girls were taller than she was. HAHA!
This very girl's life was going great! She had well grades, good friends and was very popular in her primary school. She had the life every girl could ever want. Until 8 January, 2007.It was the worst day of her life! She lost someone near and dear to her heart. Her grandfather passed away due to lung cancer. She loved him so much! She did not even believe he was gone! It took her a long time to accept the truth.
After the death of her grandfather, things started to get from bad to worst! One of her uncle was involved in an accident and another of her uncle got caught drinking and driving and fined up to $5000. Nevertheless, her uncle was a very rich man. Therefore, it was not a problem for him to pay the fine. Things got even more horrible when this girl's parents started fighting a lot and even talked about getting a divorce. They were so close to getting one but later decided not to do so.
As this girl always was there to experience her parents fighting, she got more worried and that made a great impact on her studies. In the year of her PSLE, she did very badly for her preliminary exams and was not confident that she would do well for her PSLE. However, in the end, she passed her PSLE and was promoted to a secondary school in the express stream. She was still not very happy with her PSLE results, as she had aimed for higher marks. Nevertheless, she left her past behind and moved on. This girl's father promised her that he would be back before her birthday, which is in 2 days, as he is always not in Singapore and has no time for his family. Moreover, she is sad about it. Now, the only thing she wants to see is if her father would keep his promise.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Version 1.1
(504 words)
A faithful Truth
Wednesday, 17th January 1996, was the day when a girl, whose identity would not be revealed for now (Fairymoiel), made her grand entrance into a planet called, earth, from her mother's, 'THINGY'. She made her grand entrance by crying and crying non-stop until the doctor cleaned the blood from her body, gave her injections, medicines and blah blah blah….
After a few months, this very girl started learning how to crawl and only saying, 'GOO-GOO, KAKA’. Baby talk... After a few years, she learnt how to walk and not to talk baby language anymore. Of course, with the help of her parents. After the years had gone by, she started dreaming, thinking she was going to be a princess or a queen one day... HAHA! Of course, that cannot happen in reality. She had always been the tallest girl in her class. She felt very sad and different because, the rest of her friends and classmates were shorter then her. She was extremely sad! AWWW... When she was 9 years old, a few students transferred into the same school as her and she was overjoyed because, the girls were taller than she was. HAHA!
This very girl's life was going great! She had well grades, good pals; her teachers just simply loved her and were very popular in her primary school. She had the life every girl could ever want! Until 8 January, 2007.It was the worst day of her life! She had lost someone near and dear to her heart. Her grandfather. Her grandfather had passed away due to lung cancer. She loved him so much! She did not even believe he was gone! It took her a long time to finally accept the truth.
After the death of her grandfather, things started to get from bad to worst! One of her uncle was involved in an accident and another of her uncle got caught drinking and driving and fined up to $5000. Nevertheless, her uncle was a very rich man. Therefore, it was not a problem for him to pay the fine. Things got even more terrible when this girl's parents started fighting a lot and even talked about getting a divorce. They were so close to getting one but later decided not to do so.
As this girl always was there to experience her parents fighting, she got more worried and that made a great impact on her studies. In the year of her PSLE, she did very badly for her preliminary exams and was not confident that she would do well for her PSLE. However, in the end, she passed her PSLE and was promoted to a secondary school in the express stream. She was still not very happy with her PSLE results, as she had aimed for higher marks. Nevertheless, she left her past behind and moved on. This girl's father promised her that he would be back before her birthday, which is in 2 days, as he is always not in Singapore and has no time for his family. Moreover, she is sad about it. Now, the only thing she wants to see is if her father would keep his promise.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Version 1.2(focus on vocabulary)
(530 words)
A faithful Truth
Wednesday, 17th January 1996, was the day when a girl, whose identity would not be revealed for now (Fairymoiel), made her grand entrance into a planet called, earth, from her mother's, 'THINGY'. She made her grand entrance by crying and crying non-stop until the doctor cleaned the blood from her body, gave her injections, medicines and blah blah blah….
After a few months, this very girl started learning how to crawl and only saying, 'GOO-GOO, KAKA’. Baby talk... After a few years, she learnt how to walk and not to talk baby language anymore. Of course, with the help of her parents. After the years had gone by, she started dreaming, thinking she was going to be a princess or a queen one day... HAHA! Of course, that cannot happen in reality. She had always been the tallest girl in her class. She felt very sad and different because, the rest of her friends and classmates were shorter then her. She was extremely sad! AWWW... When she was 9 years old, a few students transferred into the same school as her and she was overjoyed because, the girls were taller than she was. HAHA!
This very girl's life was going great! She had well grades, good pals; her teachers just simply loved her and were very popular in her primary school. She had the life every girl could ever want! Until 8 January, 2007.It was the worst day of her life! She had lost someone near and dear to her heart. Her grandfather. Her grandfather had passed away due to lung cancer. She loved him so much! She did not even believe he was gone! It took her a long time to finally accept the truth.
After the death of her grandfather, things started to get from bad to worst! One of her uncle was involved in an accident and another of her uncle got caught drinking and driving and fined up to $5000. Nevertheless, her uncle was a very rich man. Therefore, it was not a problem for him to pay the fine. Things got even more terrible when this girl's parents started fighting a lot and even talked about getting a divorce. They were so close to getting one but later decided not to do so.
As this girl always was there to experience her parents fighting, she got more worried and that made a great impact on her studies. In the year of her PSLE, she did very badly for her preliminary exams and was not confident that she would do well for her PSLE. However, in the end, she passed her PSLE and was promoted to a secondary school in the express stream. She was still not very happy with her PSLE results, as she had aimed for higher marks. Nevertheless, she left her past behind and moved on. This girl's father promised her that he would be back before her birthday, which is in 2 days, as he is always not in Singapore and has no time for his family. Moreover, she is sad about it. Now, the only thing she wants to see is if her father would keep his promise.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Version 1.3(focus on grammar)
(530 words)
A faithful Truth
Wednesday, 17th January 1996, was the day when a girl, whose identity would not be revealed for now (Fairymoiel), made her grand entrance into a planet called, earth, from her mother's, 'THINGY'. She made her grand entrance by crying and crying non-stop until the doctor cleaned the blood from her body, gave her injections, medicines and blah blah blah….
After a few months, this very girl started learning how to crawl and only saying, 'GOO-GOO, KAKA’. Baby talk... After a few years, she learnt how to walk and not to talk baby language anymore. Of course, with the help of her parents. After the years had gone by, she started dreaming, thinking she was going to be a princess or a queen one day... HAHA! Of course, that cannot happen in reality. She had always been the tallest girl in her class. She felt very sad and different because, the rest of her friends and classmates were shorter then her. She was extremely sad! AWWW... When she was 9 years old, a few students transferred into the same school as her and she was overjoyed because, the girls were taller than she was. HAHA!
This very girl's life was going great! She had well grades, good pals; her teachers just simply loved her and were very popular in her primary school. She had the life every girl could ever want! Until 8 January, 2007.It was the worst day of her life! She had lost someone near and dear to her heart. Her grandfather. Her grandfather had passed away due to lung cancer. She loved him so much! She did not even believe he was gone! It took her a long time to finally accept the truth.
After the death of her grandfather, things started to get from bad to worst! One of her uncle was involved in an accident and another of her uncle got caught drinking and driving and fined up to $5000. Nevertheless, her uncle was a very rich man. Therefore, it was not a problem for him to pay the fine. Things got even more terrible when this girl's parents started fighting a lot and even talked about getting a divorce. They were so close to getting one but later decided not to do so.
As this girl always was there to experience her parents fighting, she got more worried and that made a great impact on her studies. In the year of her PSLE, she did very badly for her preliminary exams and was not confident that she would do well for her PSLE. However, in the end, she passed her PSLE and was promoted to a secondary school in the express stream. She was still not very happy with her PSLE results, as she had aimed for higher marks. Nevertheless, she left her past behind and moved on. This girl's father promised her that he would be back before her birthday, which is in 2 days, as he is always not in Singapore and has no time for his family. Moreover, she is sad about it. Now, the only thing she wants to see is if her father would keep his promise.
Declaration: I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Version 1.4(focus on spelling)
(530 words)
16 April 1996, was the day the girl was born. Her name is Pha Qi. Ya! It was me. My mother just gave birth to me. The first word that comes out of my mouth is ‘ONGYEH! ONGYEH!’
She started to grow bigger and bigger, healthier and healthier. After a few months she started to say ‘AH! GUGO! GAGA!’ When she was 1 years old, she learn many new things. She started leaning how to walk, talk and eating porridge. But, she was very greed. She does not only want to walk, she started running. She started studying at ‘Apple Tree’ when she is 4 years old. She lead a happy life. I have a happy family and many good friends until that day, 29 April 2004, a very terrible day.
My grandmother had passed away. She’s the first person in my family, in my life that pass away. I was very sad. After all this, my life change. I hate some of my relative member. They’re so ‘money face’. Although my parents don’t allow me to know all these things, but I hear some of the part while they’re having their conversation together. I was only Primary 2 that year. While I am sitting at the stairs, my aunt started crying. She was carrying her son. She was saying that her life was very miserable. I really hate her on that day onwards. I felt that all she cares is the money that belongs to my grandmother. She does not even care if my grandmother had passed away. I’ve never hate a person so much in my life before. She did not even respect my grandmother. All she cares is about the money.
One year passed. On 29 April 2005, I was in Primary 3. My family and all my relative woke up early and go to the temple for my grandmother death anniversary. Because of the soot of the incense, my elder sister, my younger brother and my cousin decided to sit at one side. Suddenly my aunt came to us and said that all the people in this world is poisonous and evil, except her and her family. At first, I don’t get what she was talking as I was too young. But I remembered what she said all this years. After a few years, when I grew up, I finally understand what she’s trying to tell us that year, few years back. On that day onwards, I keep asking myself why would my uncle marry such a wicked woman like her.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
424 words
On a hot and sunny afternoon as
I was going back from school, I saw my uncle, Nelson age forty-three years old. He looks like trailing an old Man. I asked him what are you doing. He just ignored me and walked off hurriedly felt agitated as he refused to tell me what is he doing I was curious what he was doing so I followed him silently watching his very movement. I gave myself away when he knocked over some old newspaper left outside and tripped and hit his face on the ground and some teeth fall out of his mouth. Then he looked at me and banged my head leaving a bump on my head I was forced to go back home.
My uncle is a full-time private detective .He has a only daughter named Florence aged sixteen .Her mother died when she was young .As for me, I am just free-loading in the house. My parents went on an oversea trip to Japan. They will be coming back in two-week time. That very night, Florence cooked a homemade dinner for three of us. Later that night I slept peacefully that night.
Three days after that night, there was a festival at queenstown area at a clear clearing called the fire festival. Some people are having a whale of their time and other had started burning some firewood and the last one is already burned. When they saw an unidentified figure in the fire, they quickly called the police to come checked the figure. When the police came and checked the burned body and they concluded that this is a murder case.
When the media catch whole of this information and broadcast immediately and it showed while I was eating my food and my uncle nearly choked when they showed the picture of the victim and named him. The victim named was Ryan aged forty-two years old.
The police asking for helped to investigate this case called us the very next day. When we got to the police station, we saw a cancer looking man stand by the chief police. He was given the insurance money of the dead man. Then my uncle was shocked because that man hired him to trail the victim. He did that because someone was following him everywhere. The insurance money was five billion dollars because they make bet who will live the longest and sadly the victim loses.
The man named Roy aged forty-two has gone oversea on a holiday with his friends. The time was between the murder took place time limit. He was going to use the insurance money to repay a debt after that he will travel the world. I was asked to hold a paper bag and I was curious about the paper bag and took a peek in and accidentally dropped the document inside. I was told to pick them up. Each picture I picked was a picture of Roy taking a picture with his friends and each picture has a clock in it as if he wanted to proof his alibi. There were some other pictures that was taken before the victim was killed I notice a very strange way the victim was acting. The Monday and Tuesday photos that was taken by uncle has him using his right hand in very picture and Wednesday he was using his left hand in every photo.
I looked at the time and quickly called a cab and went down to the airport because Roy flight is going leave very soon. I confronted him in front of the airport as he was running to the airport. I told him that he was the murder because you killed him before you buried in the pile of firewood when there is no one around. You have imposter to dressed like the victim and run around all daylong but he made one grave mistake is that the victim is a right-handed person and the imposter’s a left-handed person. Then he stayed silent for awhile and laughed and confessed he killed Ryan himself and I recorded this on tape that I secretly hid in my pocket and he heard my clinking sound and noticed a tape in my pocket. He was furious and tried to kill me but luck was on my side, that the police come looking for me and noticed Roy strangling me. He was caught for attempting to murder and murder so he was jailed for life and I gave a sigh of relieves.
I was given a bump on my head for running out and getting all the credit to myself by my uncle. I guess all well end well. I learned my lesson for not being to full of myself.
Declaration:I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Clarissa hui
1 c
version 1.1(focus on content)
(791 words)
16 April 1996, was the day the girl was born. Her name is Pha Qi. Ya! It was me. My mother just gave birth to me. The first word that comes out of my mouth is ‘ONGYEH! ONGYEH!’
She started to grow active and mature. After a few months she started to say ‘AH! GUGO! GAGA!’ When she was 1 years old, she learned many new things. She started leaning how to walk, talk and eating porridge. But, she was very greedy. She does not only want to walk, she started running. She started studying at ‘Apple Tree’ when she is 4 years old. I leaded a happy life. I have a happy family and many good friends until that day, 29 April 2004, a very terrible day.
My grandmother had passed away. She’s the first person in my family, in my life that passed away. I was very sad. After all this, my life change. I disgust some of my relative member. They’re so ‘money face’. Although my parents don’t allow me to know all these things, but I hear some of the part while they’re having their conversation together. I was only Primary 2 that year. While I am sitting at the stairs, my aunt started crying. She was carrying her son. She was saying that her life was very suffering. I really hate her on that day onwards. I felt that all she cares is the money that belongs to my grandmother. She does not even care if my grandmother had passed away. I’ve never hate a person so much in my life before. She did not even respect my grandmother. All she cares is about the money.
One year passed. On 29 April 2005, I was in Primary 3. My family and me entire relative woke up early and go to the temple for my grandmother death anniversary. Because of the soot of the incense, my elder sister, my younger brother and my cousin decided to sit at one side. Suddenly my aunt came to us and said that all the people in this world were poisonous and evil, except her and her family. At first, I don’t get what she was talking as I was too young. But I remembered what she said all this years. After a few years, when I grew up, I finally understand what she’s trying to tell us that year, few years back. On that day onwards, I keep asking myself why my uncle would marry such a wicked woman like her.
Declaration:I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
version 1.2 424 words
Kim Hyuk(40) 1C
V1.1
Have you ever shed tears of joy? Have you ever been unable to take care of your happiness that you were given? I want to call it ‘Ecstasy’. I have experienced it four times. As if by magic, they happened, on every time, during singing. Although I like singing, they were the long arm of coincidence. They were not the tears of the gold medal winner. They were also not the tears of the actress who is given ‘the Academy Award’. The tears were not the fruits of my effort. It was like catharsis about myself. It can be also about my surroundings or emotion. It is just from thanks for everything.
I shed the first tears of joy when I was thirteen. I was at karaoke in Korea with my friends. We often went for karaoke together. Singing was our congenial interests. We were singing together just like any other holidays.It was ordinary thing, but my tears involuntarily came to my eyes.I was blissful. I thanked all of my friends who were there every time I wanted to be with them. My legs’ strength was gone, I was crying.
The second tears of joy also were come out at karaoke. For a while, my best friend, Esooda and I were become estranged each other by others’ alienation. I frequently went for karaoke with her, so I did not go there during our ‘cold time’. Finally I became thick with her again. We went karaoke as in the past, we sang the song that we had sang in the past. I cried again. I was happy as I could feel the ‘Ecstasy’
The third tears of joy were come out at drum concert that our drummers’ club held. I also played a song I had practised hard. When the finale of the concert, the best drummer of our club played his song. Our all club members went mad with singing and jumping. Although his song was ended, we were still heated, we shouted for an encore. The song was played again, we started to jump again. The tears suddenly welled up in me.
The last tears of joy I experienced were come out at the church in Singapore. I had not gone to church for a while in Singapore. One day, I went to church. I did not know why I had to go there. I just think I had to go to church. Before the worship, we chanted hymns. I was tranquil. Then I shed tears. I did not know why. I just cried. It could not be explained.
I think these stories are weird, but only thing I can say is that they are true. I think music can kindle people’s emotion and it can move people’s heart.
460 words
Declaration:I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling
Kim Hyuk(40) 1C
V1.2
Have you ever shed tears of joy? Have you ever been unable to take care of your happiness that you were given? I want to call it ‘Ecstasy’. I have experienced it four times. As if by magic, they happened, on every time, during singing. Although I like singing, they were the long arm of coincidence. They were not the tears of the gold medal winner. They were also not the tears of the actress who is given ‘the Academy Award’. The tears were not the fruits of my effort. It was like catharsis about myself. It can be also about my surroundings or emotion. It is just from thanks for everything.
I shed the first tears of joy when I was thirteen. I was at karaoke in Korea with my friends. We often went for karaoke together. Singing was our congenial interests. We were singing together just like any other holidays.It was ordinary thing, but my tears involuntarily came to my eyes.I was blessed. I thanked all of my friends who were there every time I wanted to be with them. My legs’ strength was gone, I was crying.
The second tears of joy also were come out at karaoke. For a while, my best friend, Esooda and I were become estranged each other by others’ alienation. I frequently went for karaoke with her, so I did not go there during our ‘cold time’. Finally I became thick with her again. We went karaoke as in the past, we sang the song that we had sang in the past. I cried again. I was happy as I could feel the ‘Ecstasy’
The third tears of joy were come out at drum concert that our drummers’ club held. I also played a song I had practised hard. When the finale of the concert, the best drummer of our club played his song. Our all club members went mad with singing and jumping. Although his song was ended, we were still heated, we shouted for an encore. The song was played again, we started to jump again. The tears suddenly welled up in me.
The last tears of joy I experienced were come out at the church in Singapore. I had not gone to church for a while in Singapore. One day, I went to church. I did not know why I had to go there. I instinctively think I had to go to church. Before the worship, we chanted hymns. I was tranquil. Then I shed tears. I did not exactly know why. I just cried. I gave thanks to God who made me to come to church. It could not be explained.
I think these stories are weird, but only thing I can say is that they are true. I think music can kindle people’s emotion and it can move people’s heart.
472 words
Declaration:I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling
Title: Anime History
Declaration:I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Hi Mr. Lau this is Blog ambassador Tham Kunyuan of row 2 from the door. this is V1.2.
I’m going to tell you of my happiness due to the jokes the time I started watching animation(anime) with Japanese audio but with English subtitles. Currently I check about 11 animation series everyday ^_^.Each episode of the series is about 20 minutes or so. Some have Prequels(the part before this series) and Sequels(the part after this series).Some have OVA which I don’t even know what it means^_^.
Okay here it goes.
It started in Primary 4 when I was in Telok Kurau Primary school located beside the coffee shop at Block 121,4 blocks in front of my house, Block 125.My friend, Zhan Jie introduced me to One Piece, a boy named Monkey D.Luffy, grandson of Admiral Garp of the Marines and has a brother named Monkey D. Ace, a person who has eaten the Devil’s Fruit(or they call it “Akuma no mi”) of fire, which allows him to turn any part of his body into fire. On the other side, Luffy ate the “Gomu Gomu no mi”(rubber fruit) which made him into a rubber man. The only way to kill a person who has eaten the Devil’s Fruit is to sink them as they are hammers in the water. Starting from scratch,Luffy started his journey to the great treasure, One Piece. Eventually, he got nakama(crew) on his journey and to the part I’m waiting for, his crew consists of 4 Devil Fruit users each unique to each own. For example Brook, the living skeleton had ate the Yomi Yomi no mi, which allows him to revive himself when he is dead.
-----The end----
273 words
Hi sir! I AM KENCHAN FROM SEC 1 C
WORD COUNT (623 WORDS).THIS IS VERSION 1.2
MY COMPOSITION IS ABOUT SADNESS AND HAPPINESS.
Title: fantasy
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
‘Help! Somebody save me!’ cried the dazzling princess. The Evil witch said to the princess,’ All I wanted was your magnificent face and I will not hurt you my dear and after I completed my voodooism,
I will switch your face with mine!’ laughed the evil witch. ‘NO! Please NO!’ begged the princess. The witch said,’ It will not hurt a bit my dear.’ After that, the witch left the putrid room.
Soon the news of the missing attractive princess is spread over the kingdom of cessation. The majesty is much tormented about his own daughter’s impregnability. The empress tried to confess majesty to cede a reward that can find the princess and also the reward includes their half of their kingdom and could take the hand of the princess.
While spreading the news, there was a warrior whose swordsmanship has reached the highest level of training who is called Ken. He went to the king and announced, ‘I will go and rescue the princess and bring her back protected.’ ‘First, I will thank you first for your bravery. Next, is there any thing that I could do for you?’ ‘Yes, my lord, could you take care of my slumping mother? She needs somebody to take
Of.’ ‘That will be dandy with me.’ ‘Then, I am off.’
Although the journey was difficult, Ken finally reached the witch’s castle. On the midway, he met an aging woman begging for food. He did not ponder and fleetly gave the woman his own food. The woman was thankful for Ken giving to her. She gave her ring to Ken and said, ‘this ring can help to reach to the safely.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Welcome and farewell.’ She in a flash flew away.
Outside the castle there was a dragon keeping guard outside. Ken takes out his sword, made of crystal, charge at the dragon. The dragon was caught off guard and was slain in a flash. Ken quickly went into the castle and found out that the princess was in a torture room. Oh my god! The princess’s body was full of slashes and the face was not charming any more. The face was an old hag!
Ken could not believe this! He quickly pick the princess up and to his horror, the princess fainted without saying anything……. He quickly, with the princess, dashed out of the putrid room. But he was halt by a guard- and foul ogre. He quickly takes out his crystal sword and start battling with the ogre. The battle was a gripping fight. Ken almost died. He quickly took the princess out of the putrid room. Suddenly, he was halt by the witch. He took out his sword and battle with the witch. When the princess woke up, she saw ken standing up, while the witch was slain. She said, ‘wow my hero you had saved my life!’ exclaimed the princess. But the scene was not what the princess wanted…..
Ken was dripping with blood. He felled down without saying a word. The princess quickly knelt down beside Ken. Tears started to drip down the princess’s eyes. The tears dripped on Ken’s eyes and instantly, the tears had saved Ken’s life!! After defeating the witch, the princess’s was back to normal! He sat down beside the princess’s side and they went back to the kingdom. The kingdom was celebrating the hero’s return. The king announced that Ken shall marry the princess. Ken was very jubilant for receiving the princess as his bride. After that, Ken treated the kingdom with peace.
Goh Cheng Hong(21) 1C
"I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
" Unlucky day? "
This morning, I woke up early and that was why I came to school so early. I walking on the path to school, suddenly I heard someone ringing a bell, i turned around and saw a man cycling on a bike, ringing the bell. I was empty minded and do not know what to do. When it wan about to bang onto me the man tripped on a small rock and fell off the bike. I did not knew what to do so I ran away to school. After the 5 minutes walked, I need to walk through some buildings to reached school. I was walking through the building and I saw some pupils from our school gambling. I went to be a busybody and I shouted "WA" as the cards on one of them hands was good. Suddenly, another pupil had win, the pupil that i had saw his card stand up. The pupil wanted to punched me but I dodged and ran away and he accidentally punched a teacher who was about to scolded them. I was glad that I had ran away before the teacher came. In school, I was talking to my friend and he accidentally step on his shoelaces and fell. After school, when we were about to go back, we were on duty to closed the window, we were talking away as he accidentally crushed his finger.
(234 words)
Sorry, i had put it on a wrong page.
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong of 1C...this is the 1.2 version ,i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
"I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
After school, I went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday was coming soon. After I bought the present, I decided to have my lunch before going back. As I was having my lunch, I saw my best friend "David". We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind was stunned and I fainted.
When I wake up, I saw nothing as the place is very dark. Then I heard someone calling my name. It was my friend.I try moving but both my arms and legs hurts. I was nervous as my mind is empty. My friend keep talking to me as he knew I in pain and do not want me to end my life just so easily. I really do not know what to do when I heard someone hand phone rang and it was then I found out it was my. I was glad that it is not spoil and I can call for help but I can't even move my hands and legs. I could heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it was very far from me. I feel like ending my life but I keep hearing David nagging at me not to close my eyes and suddenly he stop nagging at me then he told me that he had no more energy to nag at me and ask me to keep awake myself using his UN-energetic voices. I saw something walking towards me, I thought I am dead and the spirits had came to fetch me but it was some helper who was going to save us. When they were going to save David, David shouted to save my life first as I am in pain but he was even worst, he was badly injured. I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David, he was dead. I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth. I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me. I can't control myself and ran out to him, I cried out with tears all over my face. I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics. The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.
(417 words)
"I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
Hi Sir, this is Haziq Ariffin (23). This is version 1.1:
Sadness
Sadness, a feeling or spell of dismally low spirits, that was what I felt when I heard the news that my beloved grandmother was killed in an accident five years ago.
That day, all of my family members and my grandmother were out for a wedding .I did not follow them because I need to do my revision as PSLE was just around the corner .My maid was also at home doing some chores. As I was all wound up in revising, when the suddenly house phone rang. I answered and it was my father. He told me to meet him at the entrance of a nearby hospital and instructed my maid to accompany me. I was puzzled, why out of all places, he told us to meet him in a hospital. But since he sounded serious I did not question more. My maid and I got ready in a jiffy. We flagged a taxi and told the driver to go to the hospital. I paid the fares using money my pocket money.
When we had arrived there, my father was at the entrance looked grim. He brought us to a ward. At the ward, I saw my mother, uncle and aunty. Their faces were grim. I saw my grandmother lying down on a bed. My mother told me that my grandmother was killed in an accident. I was hysterical. I could not believe it. It was only a moment ago that I felt her hands hugging me. After I had calmed down, my father told me what had happened.
While he was driving, a young boy dashed across the road, so he swerved to the right and hit a tree. My grandmother was thrown out off the car and hit her head on the ground. My parents only had some bruises but my grandmother head was bleeding non-stop, so they had to bring her to the hospital. She was dead by the time they had reached there.
Now, I am still sad because I had lost the person who had always pampered me and showered me with the love that I can never forget. Sadness is what I endure whenever I remember my grandmother.
(365 words)
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
Hi Sir, this is Haziq Ariffin (23). This is version 1.2:
Sadness
Sadness, a feeling or spell of dismally low spirits, that was what I felt when I heard the news that my beloved grandmother was killed in a mishap five years ago.
That day, all of my family members and my grandmother were out for a wedding .I did not accompany them because I need to do my revision as PSLE was just around the corner .My maid was also at home doing some chores. As I was all wound up in revising, the house phone suddenly rang. I answered and it was my father. He told me to meet him at the entrance of a nearby hospital and instructed my maid to accompany me. I was baffled, why out of all places, he told us to meet him in a hospital. But since he sounded serious I did not question more. My maid and I got ready in a jiffy. We flagged a taxi and told the driver to go to the hospital. I paid the fares using my pocket money.
When we had arrived there, my father was at the entrance looking grim. He brought us to a ward. At the ward, I saw my mother, uncle and aunty. Their faces were grim. I saw my grandmother lying down on a bed. My mother told me that my grandmother was killed in an accident. I was hysterical. I could not believe it. It was only a moment ago that I felt her hands hugging me. After I had composed myself, my father told me what had happened.
While he was driving, a young boy dashed across the road, so he swerved to the right and hit a tree. My grandmother was thrown out off the car and hit her head on the ground. My parents only had some bruises but my grandmother head was bleeding profusely, so they had to admit her to the hospital. She was lifeless by the time they had arrived there.
Now, I am still sad because I had lost the person who had always pampered me and showered me with the love that I can never forget. Sadness is what I endure whenever I remember my grandmother.
(363 words)
DUDE ALVIN LAU YOU LAU SAI KIA!! HAHA U NOOB SHIT PIG MOTHER FKER!!!! YOU KAO BEI KAO BU SO MUCH
KANINA BU! BUAY SONG SI BO ? U MOTHER FKER! BUAY SONG LAI I CALL MY GANG IN ANG MO KIO YOU CHAO CHI BAI! YOU FuCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY, FUCK YOU WHOLE FAMILY GENERATION! YOUR WHOLE FAMILY DIE YOUR MOTHER FK YOUR FATHER DICK! OH YA YOUR FATHER NO DICK! AHAHAHAHA! NOOB! NEWBIE! UR WHOLE FAMILY GENERATION DIE! BITCH ASs BASTARD! NGA LO MATHER! FK OFF YOU NOOB! CHAO CHI BAI!
Who Is It Who Pose That Pose ?
Who the heck post that comment will be dead.
Dearest Shawn,
I see much more effort here in your cursing than I've ever seen in class or in the last six weeks.
You will be referred to the relevant authorities for action.
Please submit the apology that you agreed to post earlier today.
Dear All,
Please correct the mistakes identified in class earlier today.
As mentioned, your writing must be at least 250 words.
I have identified the students who need to edit and refine their writing and identified exactly what they have to do in class.
I appreciate the efforts of those who have carefully crafted and checked their work.
Thank you.
Dear Mr Lau This Is My Version 1.1 Of My Personal Recount It's Written In Paragraphs Now;)
The thunderstorm made the night scarier than it already was. I shivered, clutching onto my blanket real hard. The only question on my mind is ‘when is Mom and Dad coming home?’ My parents were away for a business trip in Austria and will be back in two weeks time. My parents hired a babysitter for me though but she behaved like an irresponsible idiot who I truly hate. She started by inviting her friends over and they would party all night. They would then sneak into Mum’s and Dad’s master bedroom to tell ghost stories or either to doll their selves up using Mum’s dresses and accessories.
I tried to fight for justice once with them but I was forced to build a soil + bugs castle instead. That was just not my day. Amazingly, today was different; they went out to catch a concert by Busted which happens to be my favorite band too. As usual they would not budge even if I were to kneel in front of them which is likely not going to happened because that would only make me a laughing icon.
And I was left ALONE at home. I wiped my tears soon after they left. As I turn around to get to bed, I found something amiss. The hallway was spookier than it usually was. I shivered. On spur of moment, I heard aberrant sounds coming from the kitchen.
My imaginations run wild at once and I zoom up the staircase and into my room to get on to the bed. Like magic, it started raining. I feared because of the loud booming sound that the thunderstorms make when they strike. That was when I started thinking about when are Mom and Dad coming home.
The chilly air gave me just the right temperature to make me doze off. Surprisingly, it did. But that was nothing; I was awaken by a tapping sound. I followed the sound to find myself looking out of the window. I saw a white figure fly past me.’ Oh My Gosh! ‘I thought. “BANG BANG BANG!” my bedroom door was being knocked. I felt a cold sweat run down my spine, but managed to say “Georgia is that you?!” with a tremble in my voice. It was not working; because the door knocked louder I was afraid and wailed. I heard someone laughing, and it sounded familiar.
Suddenly, the door opens slowly. I stopped crying. I knew it had to be a person not a ghost as his or her laughter sounded familiar. “Aha!” Georgia plunged onto me. I was shocked; my heart beat faster than it usually was. “You scared me! And what are you doing here instead of the concert?” I hollered. “Hey, that was not the end of it until you started wailing like a baby! You are a coward and a stupid one at that!” she replied. “You are a big fan of Busted but you cannot even remember their concert date which is apparently tomorrow, 12 of December.” She added. I thought for a moment and realized that she was right. Georgia grinned at me. “Well, I am sorry, for not being a good babysitter and to pay back for my irresponsible attitude, I will bring you to the concert tomorrow.” I gave her a hug. And from that day onwards, our friendship grew.
Declaration:I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling
The thunderstorm made the night scarier than it already was. I shivered, clutching onto my blanket real hard. The only question on my mind is ‘when is Mom and Dad coming home?’ My parents were away for a business trip in Austria and will be back in two weeks time. My parents hired a babysitter for me though but she behaved like an irresponsible idiot who I truly hate. She started by inviting her friends over and they would party all night. They would then sneak into Mum’s and Dad’s master bedroom to tell ghost stories or either to doll their selves up using Mum’s dresses and accessories.
I tried to fight for justice once with them but I was forced to build a soil + bugs castle instead. That was just not my day. Amazingly, today was different; they went out to catch a concert by Busted which happens to be my favorite band too. As usual they would not budge even if I were to kneel in front of them which is likely not going to happened because that would only make me a laughing icon.
And I was left ALONE at home. I wiped my tears soon after they left. As I turn around to get to bed, I found something amiss. The hallway was spookier than it usually was. I shivered. On spur of moment, I heard aberrant sounds coming from the kitchen.
My imaginations run wild at once and I zoom up the staircase and into my room to get on to the bed. Like magic, it started raining. I feared because of the loud booming sound that the thunderstorms make when they strike. That was when I started thinking about when are Mom and Dad coming home.
The chilly air gave me just the right temperature to make me doze off. Surprisingly, it did. But that was nothing; I was awaken by a tapping sound. I followed the sound to find myself looking out of the window. I saw a white figure fly past me.’ Oh My Gosh! ‘I thought. “BANG BANG BANG!” my bedroom door was being knocked. I felt a cold sweat run down my spine, but managed to say “Georgia is that you?!” with a tremble in my voice. It was not working; because the door knocked louder I was afraid and wailed. I heard someone laughing, and it sounded familiar.
Suddenly, the door opens slowly. I stopped crying. I knew it had to be a person not a ghost as his or her laughter sounded familiar. “Aha!” Georgia plunged onto me. I was shocked; my heart beat faster than it usually was. “You scared me! And what are you doing here instead of the concert?” I hollered. “Hey, that was not the end of it until you started wailing like a baby! You are a coward and a stupid one at that!” she replied. “You are a big fan of Busted but you cannot even remember their concert date which is apparently tomorrow, 12 of December.” She added. I thought for a moment and realized that she was right. Georgia grinned at me. “Well, I am sorry, for not being a good babysitter and to pay back for my irresponsible attitude, I will bring you to the concert tomorrow.” I gave her a hug. And from that day onwards, our friendship grew.
The thunderstorm made the night scarier than it already was. I shivered, clutching onto my blanket real hard. The only question on my mind is ‘when is Mom and Dad coming home?’ My parents were away for a business trip in Austria and will be back in two weeks time. My parents hired a babysitter for me though but she behaved like an irresponsible idiot who I truly hate. She started by inviting her friends over and they would party all night. They would then sneak into Mum’s and Dad’s master bedroom to tell ghost stories or either to doll their selves up using Mum’s dresses and accessories.
I tried to fight for justice once with them but I was forced to build a soil + bugs castle instead. That was just not my day. Amazingly, today was different; they went out to catch a concert by Busted which happens to be my favorite band too. As usual they would not budge even if I were to kneel in front of them which is likely not going to happened because that would only make me a laughing icon.
And I was left ALONE at home. I wiped my tears soon after they left. As I turn around to get to bed, I found something amiss. The hallway was spookier than it usually was. I shivered. On spur of moment, I heard aberrant sounds coming from the kitchen.
My imaginations run wild at once and I zoom up the staircase and into my room to get on to the bed. Like magic, it started raining. I feared because of the loud booming sound that the thunderstorms make when they strike. That was when I started thinking about when are Mom and Dad coming home.
he chilly air gave me just the right temperature to make me doze off. Surprisingly, it did. But that was nothing; I was awaken by a tapping sound. I followed the sound to find myself looking out of the window. I saw a white figure fly past me.’ Oh My Gosh! ‘I thought. “BANG BANG BANG!” my bedroom door was being knocked.
I broke into cold sweat, but managed to say “Georgia is that you?!” with a tremble in my voice. It was not working; because the door knocked louder I was afraid and wailed. I heard someone laughing, and it sounded familiar.
Suddenly, the door opened slowly. I stopped crying. I knew it had to be a person not a ghost as his or her laughter sounded familiar. “Aha!” Georgia plunged onto me. I was shocked; my heart beat faster than it usually was. “You scared me! And what are you doing here instead of the concert?” I hollered. “Hey, that was not the end of it until you started wailing like a baby! You are a coward and a stupid one at that!” she replied. “You are a big fan of Busted but you cannot even remember their concert date which is apparently tomorrow, 12 of December.” She added. I thought for a moment and realized that she was right. Georgia grinned at me. “Well, I am sorry, for not being a good babysitter and to pay back for my irresponsible attitude, I will bring you to the concert tomorrow.” I gave her a hug. And from that day onwards, our friendship grew.
The thunderstorm made the night scarier than it already was. I shivered, clutching onto my blanket real hard. The only question on my mind is ‘when is Mom and Dad coming home?’ My parents were away for a business trip in Austria and will be back in two weeks time. My parents hired a babysitter for me though but she behaved like an irresponsible idiot who I truly hate. She started by inviting her friends over and they would party all night. They would then sneak into Mum’s and Dad’s master bedroom to tell ghost stories or either to doll their selves up using Mum’s dresses and accessories.
I tried to fight for justice once with them but I was forced to build a soil + bugs castle instead. That was just not my day. Amazingly, today was different; they went out to catch a concert by Busted which happens to be my favorite band too. As usual they would not budge even if I were to kneel in front of them which is likely not going to happened because that would only make me a laughing icon.
And I was left ALONE at home. I wiped my tears soon after they left. As I turn around to get to bed, I found something amiss. The hallway was spookier than it usually was. I shivered. On spur of moment, I heard aberrant sounds coming from the kitchen.
My imaginations run wild at once and I zoom up the staircase and into my room to get on to the bed. Like magic, it started raining. I feared because of the loud booming sound that the thunderstorms make when they strike. That was when I started thinking about when are Mom and Dad coming home.
he chilly air gave me just the right temperature to make me doze off. Surprisingly, it did. But that was nothing; I was awaken by a tapping sound. I followed the sound to find myself looking out of the window. I saw a white figure fly past me.’ Oh My Gosh! ‘I thought. “BANG BANG BANG!” my bedroom door was being knocked.
I broke into cold sweat, but managed to say “Georgia is that you?!” with a tremble in my voice. It was not working; because the door knocked louder I was afraid and wailed. I heard someone laughing, and it sounded familiar.
Suddenly, the door opened slowly. I stopped crying. I knew it had to be a person not a ghost as his or her laughter sounded familiar. “Aha!” Georgia plunged onto me. I was shocked; my heart beat faster than it usually was. “You scared me! And what are you doing here instead of the concert?” I hollered. “Hey, that was not the end of it until you started wailing like a baby! You are a coward and a stupid one at that!” she replied.
“You are a big fan of Busted but you cannot even remember their concert date which is apparently tomorrow, 12 of December.” She added. I thought for a moment and realized that she was right. Georgia grinned at me. “Well, I am sorry, for not being a good babysitter and to pay back for my irresponsible attitude, I will bring you to the concert tomorrow.” I gave her a hug. And from that day onwards, our friendship grew.
Ou Jianwen 1c 30 Five years ago, i was very sad when i learnt that my uncle had died at the hand of a crazy person. Here is the story......
A crazy person lived opposite us. One day, the guy was bullying a kid of about 5 years old. The kid cried horribly. My grandfather came out of his house to investigate and scold the man for bullying a young kid. The man's response was to give my grandfather an angry look.
Since that day, we heard the daily ginding of a knife from his house. The nightmare arrived in the new year. New year is a happy occasion for us,not least because i get fat "hong pow' from my grandparents. Lter that morning, when my uncle stepped out of the house for a while , crazy man came up to him and slashed him several times on his face. MY grandfather who was at the window, immediately came out and pushed the crazy man away. By then , my uncle had fallen to the ground. There was no taxi, my mother had no choice but to carry him piggy back, all the way to the hospital. That was the last i saw my uncle......221 words
Hi sir! I AM KENCHAN FROM SEC 1 C
WORD COUNT (623WORDS!).MY COMPOSITION IS ABOUT SADNESS AND HAPPINESS.
THIS IS VERSION 1.3.
Title: fantasy
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
‘Help somebody save me!’ cried the dazzling princess. The Evil witch said to the princess,’ All I wanted was your magnificent face and I will not hurt you my dear and after I completed my voodooism,
I will switch your face with mine!’ laughed the evil witch. ‘NO! Please NO!’ begged the princess. The witch said,’ It will not hurt a bit my dear.’ After that, the witch left the putrid room.
Soon the news of the missing attractive princess is spread over the kingdom of cessation. The majesty is much tormented about his own daughter’s impregnability. The empress tried to confess majesty to cede a reward that can find the princess and also the reward includes their half of their kingdom and could take the hand of the princess.
While spreading the news, there was a warrior whose swordsmanship has reached the highest level of training who is called Ken. He went to the king and announced, ‘I will go and rescue the princess and bring her back protected.’ ‘First, I will thank you first for your bravery. Next, is there any thing that I could do for you?’ ‘Yes, my lord, could you take care of my slumping mother? She needs somebody to take
of.’ ‘That will be dandy with me.’ ‘Then, I am off.’
Although the journey was difficult, Ken finally reached the witch’s castle. On the midway, he met an aging woman begging for food. He did not ponder and fleetly gave the woman his own food. The woman was thankful for Ken giving to her. She gave her ring to Ken and said, ‘this ring can help to reach to the safely.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Welcome and farewell.’ She in a flash flew away.
Outside the castle there was a dragon keeping guard outside. Ken took out his sword, made of crystal, charged at the dragon. The dragon was caught off guard and was slain in a flash. Ken quickly went into the castle and found out that the princess was in a torture room. Oh my god! The princess’s body was full of slashes and the face was not charming any more. The face was an old hag!
Ken could not believe this! He quickly pick the princess up and to his horror, the princess fainted without saying anything……. He quickly, with the princess, dashed out of the putrid room. But he was halt by a guard- and foul ogre. He quickly takes out his crystal sword and start battling with the ogre. The battle was a gripping fight. Ken almost died. He quickly took the princess out of the putrid room. Suddenly, he was halt by the witch. He took out his sword and battle with the witch. When the princess woke up, she saw ken standing up, while the witch was slain. She said, ‘wow my hero you had saved my life!’ exclaimed the princess. But the scene was not what the princess wanted…..
Ken was dripping with blood. He felled down without saying a word. The princess quickly knelt down beside Ken. Tears started to drip down the princess’s eyes. The tears dripped on Ken’s eyes and instantly, the tears had saved Ken’s life!! After defeating the witch, the princess’s was back to normal! He sat down beside the princess’s side and they went back to the kingdom. The kingdom was celebrating the hero’s return. The king announced that Ken shall marry the princess. Ken was very jubilant for receiving the princess as his bride. After that, Ken treated the kingdom with peace.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Hey Mr Lau! This is Xian Chu(34(New))from 1C. I am going to tell you a story(Fake). Here’s the story goes :
Walking home with my friend, Korochi, after school under the hot Sun. Korochi and I planned to do our Recycling project which our teacher told us to do. Korochi suggested to do the project at his home tomorrow since his family usually would not be at home in the afternoon, so I agreed.
The next day, after the teacher dismissed us, I and Korochi ran to his house. In less than five minutes, we reach his home as his home is stone throw away from the school. We prepared everything for the project, I bought scissors, penknife and some other things which we needed to do our project, making a CD holder. So I started off with cutting the cardboard which I brought. As I was cutting the cardboard, all of a sudden Korochi come out of behind holding his guitar and hit the back of the guitar, ‘BANG!’ making a loud sound and it frightened me, making me ran away from my seat. In a bolt of lightning, I snatched the guitar from Korochi and put it aside and he continued helping me.
Finally completed our project. After completing it, we quickly clean the house. After cleaning the house, Korochi brought his guitar to his room, I followed him to his room. After Korochi put his guitar into the bag, he put the guitar on top of his bookshelf and we started talking about other thing. ‘Tang!’ out of the blue a sound some where and its from the guitar but nobody touch it. It scared us and we ran out of Korochi’s house.
Hey Mr Lau! This is Xian Chu(34(New))from 1C. I am going to tell you a story(Fake)==. Word Count(266). Here’s the story goes :
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling.
Walking home with my friend, Korochi, after school under the hot Sun. Korochi and I planned to do our Recycling project which our teacher told us to do. Korochi suggested to do the project at his home tomorrow since his family usually would not be at home in the afternoon, so I agreed.
The next day, after the teacher dismissed us, I and Korochi ran to his house. In less than five minutes, we reach his home as his home is stone throw away from the school. We prepared everything for the project, I bought scissors, penknife and some other things which we needed to do our project, making a CD holder. So I started off with cutting the cardboard which I brought. As I was cutting the cardboard, all of a sudden Korochi come out of behind holding his guitar and hit the back of the guitar, ‘BANG!’ making a loud sound and it frightened me, making me ran away from my seat. In a bolt of lightning, I snatched the guitar from Korochi and put it aside and he continued helping me.
Finally completed our project. After completing it, we quickly clean the house. After cleaning the house, Korochi brought his guitar to his room, I followed him to his room. After Korochi put his guitar into the bag, he put the guitar on top of his bookshelf and we started talking about other thing. ‘Tang!’ out of the blue a sound some where and its from the guitar but nobody touch it. It scared us and we ran out of Korochi’s house.
I am Tan Ko Hui (15) from 1C. There are 435 words excluding name, class, version, title and declaration. This is version 1.2, focusing on vocabulary.
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling before posting it.
Essay: Topic – Excited for New Year!
Chinese New Year is around the corner, everyone is preparing for the day. Buying new clothes, bags, shoes and changing to a new hairstyle.
My grandmother, prepare delicacies for example pineapple tarts, cakes, biscuits and agar-agar to serve visitors. Visitors often bring home some of it to eat. Everybody thinks that my grandmother’s is the best; I could not help but agree.
I went to shopping malls to shop for clothes yesterday. I bought a lot of things and had a hard time carrying them back home. My legs were aching after walking for the whole day.
A week ago, I helped my grandmother to bake pineapple tarts after I reached home from school. I helped to put pineapple on the tarts. It was so fun! At night, I helped her to pack the pineapple tarts into containers with my sister.
The next morning, I accompanied my grandmother to the wet market to stock up food for the reunion dinner. We bought shrimps, chicken, fish and many more. Then, we went to the supermarket to buy some abalone.
In the afternoon, my grandmother baked cakes with help from me and my sister. The cakes were in different sizes. The bigger ones are for our own family whereas the smaller ones are for the visitors. We tasted the first batch of cakes after it cooled down and of course, it was delicious! At that moment, I wish I could eat them everyday.
My aunt and her family are coming to my house to eat reunion dinner. I’ve always enjoyed reunion dinners as they are meaningful and the whole family can gather together to celebrate Chinese New Year.
My family usually stays at home on the first day of Chinese New Year. My sister and I will give two mandarin oranges to my mum, grandma and aunt. They will give us red packets in exchange for the mandarin oranges.
My grandmother, sisters and I will serve food and chat with my relatives and they will give us red packets. It was always fun. When there were no people, we always seize the chance to pinch some snacks to eat.
On the second day, my mum usually brings my sisters and I to my aunt’s house and we will eat ‘yu sheng’. We will mix everything together using chopsticks while shouting some auspicious words. Then we will go up, down, up and down. My cousins and I nicknamed ‘yu sheng’ as ‘up, down, up, down’. We normally go home after midnight. I have always loved Chinese New Year as we can get money and buy what I want!
Who is that anonymous? He/she is really rude. REALLY rude. He/she've got no respect for people at all. How could that person do that? That just shows how disrespectful he/she is. Gangsterism? Still talking about that? Threatening people? There's something got to do with law, mind you.
VERSION 1.3 FEAR
Ring.....my handphone rang. I answered it. It was Julian, my classmate. He asked if I could go over to his house to complete the science project that was due in a week. I obliged immediately.
An hour later, I was standing before Deer Mansion, a towering apartment building and as I stepped into the lift lobby, I realised my palms had become sweaty. I wondered how I would reach the eighteenth floor where Julian was living.
Anxiety overwhelmed me; hence, I waited to see if anyone would come by and accompany me into the lift. Yes, I suffered from claustrophobia! I feared being confined in a lift. Minutes ticked by, unfortunately, no one came along. Therefore, I had no choice but to enter the lift, all by myself.
As the huge steel doors opened, I entered the cave-like lift. The floor had stains and litter strewn around. One or two buttons were even missing; thus, I let out a sigh when button 18 was there. I pressed and the doors slammed shut. The lift shuddered and began to ascend. I looked up and noticed the floors moving up slowly.
Suddenly, the lights flickered. Terror seized me. I wondered what was going on. My heart beat fast and i felt suffocated. “Am I going to end my life in this lift?” I feared.
The lift reached the twelfth floor, then the fourteenth. Unexpectedly, the lift vibrated violently and came to a halt. I froze. The blinking lights went out. “When could I get out of the place?” I wondered. Fear seized me. I was trapped in the pitch-dark elevator. I was all alone. Anxiety overwhelmed me.
Just then, I stepped on something. I grew startled. ‘Was it a dead body slumped in the corner of the lift?’My heart almost skipped a beat. Deliberately, I stepped on it again. It was after all a plastic bag! I let out a sigh of relief.
The next moment, the lift descended rapidly for a few seconds, and then it hit the ground hard. I stood motionless. I became desperate and started pressing all the buttons, hoping to get the emergency button. After several moments, I succeeded finding it. I pressed it persistently and the alarm bell rang ceaselessly.
Minutes later, I heard a male voice, “Hello, is anyone there?” I responded frantically “Don’t worry, help will come soon!” assured the voice. Only then, I gave a sigh of relief overwhelmed me. I waited patiently for rescue to come by.
After some tense moments, the doors opened. I saw the world again. A crowd had gathered at the lobby, curious to know what was going on. Indeed, a few retrieved their handphone to take photographs of me, struggling out and assisted by the civil defence officers. I borrowed a handphone from a passer-by and called Julian. “Forget it, I am never coming to your home again, we’ll complete the project in school.” I hung up the phone.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Hey Mr Lau! i am huang song (24you a story(Fake)
after,i coming back from china ,i was always thinking about those friends in china .they were all my good brotheres,we has been face so many problemes. in the end we are still friends ,it was really amazing . but beacuse of my mother forcing ,so i need to leave them, came to singapore to study.it was merciless to us .after psle i got a chance went back to china .it was so excited for me .the two days in the school were so unforgettable! we chatting at the school hotel for whole night.my coach knew that was back from singapore . he rush to the school immediately from some where else.we went out together,about17 peoples.after having luanch ,we decided went internet bar.but the day was the weekday ,so the internet bar was full with people. does not have enough seat,we decided to go to karaoke. the time was almost my birthday,so they celebre for me day was so ......
Sorry I forgot to put my WORDCOUNT-(498 words)
Hi Mr Lau... ~ HAPPINESS~
I want to share to you about what had happened
to me on 5th of April 2007.... "Have you packed your luggage for tomorrow ?" my father questioned me. "Yes, of course! I cannot wait for tomorrow," I answered anxiously. I reminded myself to have an early night so that I would not feel so sleepy when I wake up tomorrow. After a short nap, "Rise and shine!"my mother woke us up to make sure that we are not late for the vacation. I felt so sleepy and lifeless but I force myself to wake up because I cannot wait to celebrate my birthday at 'KTM Resort'. I quickly go for a shower and get myself nicely dressed up. After we had our breakfast, we met with my father's friend who would be coming along with us too. Alright, let's cut the story short! A few hours later, here we are at 'KTM Resort'.
We went to the lobby to collect our hotel key. When we were walking, the view was breathtaking without much further ado , we took pictures and videos. Then, when I want to peep though the door to have a look of our room they did not allow me to do so. "Strange!" I said. Then I keep on looking at the nice view then all of a sudden, "Nurul, you want to go in the hotel room right? You may see it now," they said. I quickly ran to the hotel door and open. "What? Is this real? "I asked with full of surprise. I was surprised when I saw the surprise birthday party that they have put for me. I love my family. .THE END:) Nurul Khairina (13) 1c v1.3 280 WORDS.. I have check four times for contents,grammar,vocabulary and spelling.
Title: Anime History
Declaration:I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Hi Mr. Lau this is Blog ambassador Tham Kunyuan of row 2 from the door. this is V1.3
I’m going to tell you of my happiness due to the jokes the time I started watching animation(anime) with Japanese audio but with English subtitles. Currently I check about 11 animation series everyday ^_^.Each episode of the series is about 20 minutes or so. Some have Prequels(the part before this series) and Sequels(the part after this series).Some have OVA which I don’t even know what it means^_^.
Okay here it goes.
It started in Primary 4 when I was in Telok Kurau Primary school located beside the coffee shop at Block 121,4 blocks in front of my house, Block 125.My friend, Zhan Jie introduced me to One Piece, a boy named Monkey D.Luffy, grandson of Admiral Garp of the Marines and has a brother named Monkey D. Ace, a person who has eaten the Devil’s Fruit(or they call it “Akuma no mi”) of fire, which allows him to turn any part of his body into fire. On the other side, Luffy ate the “Gomu Gomu no mi”(rubber fruit) which made him into a rubber man. The only way to kill a person who has eaten the Devil’s Fruit is to sink them as they are hammers in the water. Starting from scratch,Luffy started his journey to the great treasure, One Piece. Eventually, he got nakama(crew) on his journey and to the part I’m waiting for, his crew consists of 4 Devil Fruit users each unique to each own. For example Brook, the living skeleton had ate the Yomi Yomi no mi, which allows him to revive himself when he is dead.
Another introduction of another anime I recently started.(please note that this is not the original I just added it for the sake of it)The anime title is ”Asu no Yoichi” it is about a young samurai who went into the city of Tokyo after 17 years in the mountains.
-----The end----
273 words(not including the extra I added)
For my own sake that is.
I am Tan Ko Hui (15) from 1C. There are 436 words excluding name, class, version, title and declaration. This is version 1.3, focusing on grammar.
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling before posting it.
Essay: Topic – Excited for New Year!
Chinese New Year is around the corner, everyone is preparing for the day. Buying new clothes, bags, and shoes and changing to a new hairstyle.
My grandmother, prepare delicacies for example pineapple tarts, cakes, biscuits and agar-agar to serve visitors. Visitors often bring home some of it to eat. Everybody thinks that my grandmother’s is the best; I could not help but agree.
I went to shopping malls to shop for clothes yesterday. I bought a lot of things and had a hard time carrying them back home. My legs were aching after walking for the whole day.
A week ago, I helped my grandmother to bake pineapple tarts after I reached home from school. I helped to put pineapple on the tarts. It was so fun! At night, I helped her to pack the pineapple tarts into containers with my sister.
The next morning, I accompanied my grandmother to the wet market to stock up food for the reunion dinner. We bought shrimps, chicken, fish and many more. Then, we went to the supermarket to buy some abalone.
In the afternoon, my grandmother baked cakes with help from me and my sister. The cakes were in different sizes. The bigger ones are for our own family whereas the smaller ones are for the visitors. We tasted the first batch of cakes after it cooled down and of course, it was delicious! At that moment, I wish I could eat them everyday.
My aunt and her family are coming to my house to eat reunion dinner. I’ve always enjoyed reunion dinners as they are meaningful and the whole family can gather together to celebrate Chinese New Year.
My family usually stays at home on the first day of Chinese New Year. My sister and I will give two mandarin oranges to my mum, grandma and aunt. They will give us red packets in exchange for the mandarin oranges.
My grandmother, sisters and I will serve food and chat with my relatives and they will give us red packets. It was always fun. When there were no people, we always seize the chance to pinch some snacks to eat.
On the second day, my mum usually brings my sisters and me to my aunt’s house and we will eat ‘yu sheng’. We will mix everything together using chopsticks while shouting some auspicious words. Then we will go up, down, up and down. My cousins and I nicknamed ‘yu sheng’ as ‘up, down, up, down’. We normally go home after midnight. I have always loved Chinese New Year as we can get money and buy what I want!
I am Jody.From sec-1C(06)
Topic:My favourite star!
It was on a saturday.It was raining cats and dogs.Thunder was roaring loudly.I went toed at 11pm.I was sleeping very sweetly.Put of a sudden,I have a dream that I always wanted to be real.I was dreaming of my favourite pop star.Her name was 'Hannah Montana'or u can called it 'Miley Cyrus'.I went to America and went to Hannah Montana concert.I was also stitting at the very first row so that I can take some photos.I cannot imagined,it is too realistic.My heart was beating very fast as i am going to see my favourite pop star.Everybody was shouting,'Hannah,hannah...I was also shouting in excitement.5 min later,Hannah came out!we were so excited.Then hannah sang us alot of song,like:best the both world,life what u make it,I got nerve...Her costume was even awesome,her costume was so glittering.Out of a blue,a very hard shook was on my shoulder.It was my grandmother,who was waking me up on time for school.I was sad as my dream burst like a balloon,gone.I just wake up and went to bath.THE END!
(234 words)
Name: Lim Wan Sin Class: Sec 1C
New register: 8 Old register: 9
Version 1.3(grammar)
Title: A Sad Bad Experience
Dear Mr Lau,
I’m going to share with you my sad bad experience. The story started...
I used to have outstanding results since primary one and a positive attitude towards everyone. Everybody got along well with me. However, things began to change when my grandfather passed away a few years ago.
My relationship with my grandparents is intimate. I could still recall the times when I was still a little child and my beloved grandfather would fetch me on the motorbike to ride around the neighbourhood and I would be sitting in the front basket, admire the view and cool wind that blows past my face. Now that one of my devoted kin had passed away, the downcast “me” stopped the studying routine .The funeral wake was two weeks before my parents went to Malaysia to attend some business work.
My results started to drop drastically! One day after school, I was loitering around the void deck when I saw a group of secondary students smoking and drinking. One of them was consuming drugs!
As I was slipping away to avoid trouble, a girl with different colours of dyed hair, came to me holding a small pink colour “tablet” demanding me to eat it.
Feeling that there would be no harm trying one, I took it. As I was about to pop it in my mouth, I heard a piercing voice “Police! Freeze! I dropped the pill and dashed off with the gang. As I was a slow runner, the police soon caught up with me. Not knowing that there was a fizzy drink can in front of me, I lost my footing and fell to the ground. My head hit the ground with a loud thud and I went unconscious.
When I was awake, I found myself in the police station, and beside me were my parents. They looked relieved but also disappointed in me. They came clean to the police that they did not waste much time on me and my school work as I had a younger sibling and they neglected me. They guaranteed me that they would spend more time on me from then on. As a student, my job was to study hard, so I agreed to continue to persevere. From that time onwards, I continued to excel in my studies as I promised.
Words: 433
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, SIR!
Name: Lim Wan Sin Class: Sec 1C
New register: 8 Old register: 9
Version 1.4(spelling)
Title: A Sad Bad Experience
Dear Mr Lau,
I’m going to share with you my sad bad experience. The story started...
I used to have outstanding results since primary one and a positive attitude towards everyone. Everybody got along well with me. However, things began to change when my grandfather passed away a few years ago.
My relationship with my grandparents is intimate. I could still recall the times when I was still a little child and my beloved grandfather would fetch me on the motorbike to ride around the neighbourhood and I would be sitting in the front basket, admire the view and cool wind that blows past my face. Now that one of my devoted kin had passed away, the downcast “me” stopped the studying routine .The funeral wake was two weeks before my parents went to Malaysia to attend some business work.
My results started to drop drastically! One day after school, I was loitering around the void deck when I saw a group of secondary students smoking and drinking. One of them was consuming drugs!
As I was slipping away to avoid trouble, a girl with different colours of dyed hair, came to me holding a small pink colour “tablet” demanding me to eat it.
Feeling that there would be no harm trying one, I took it. As I was about to pop it in my mouth, I heard a piercing voice “Police! Freeze! I dropped the pill and dashed off with the gang. As I was a slow runner, the police soon caught up with me. Not knowing that there was a fizzy drink can in front of me, I lost my footing and fell to the ground. My head hit the ground with a loud thud and I went unconscious.
When I was awake, I found myself in the police station, and beside me were my parents. They looked relieved but also disappointed in me. They came clean to the police that they did not waste much time on me and my school work as I had a younger sibling and they neglected me. They guaranteed me that they would spend more time on me from then on. As a student, my job was to study hard, so I agreed to continue to persevere. From that time onwards, I continued to excel in my studies as I promised.
Words: 433
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, SIR!
Name: Min Min
Register no: 16
Class: 1C
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling.
This story is version 1.2
This is a story about ‘HAPPINESS’. Last year, when I receive my PSLE result, I was very afraid. The reason I was afraid was I fear that I will do poorly for PSLE. PSLE is examination that will determine my next chapter of life.
At about 12p.m, our principal came in to speak about our progress. He announced that our school actually had improved in our progress tremendously. When heard it, I was so contented that I almost jumped up. My mind kept thinking that how much will I be getting for my PSLE.
When the time has come, all of us had butterflies in our stomach. Turn by turn, I waited for my turn. I started to get tense when my turn gets nearer. Finally, my turn arrived. My form teacher praised me as my math had improved from C during prelim exam to a B during PSLE. The reason why I was happy was that math has been my weakest subject. Every time, I always get C for my math and now I get a B. Not only, I was happy about my math, I was happy about my overall result and that I was given an option to select which stream I want.
After the release of result, it was time to choose my school. After numerous thought, I decided to go to for express stream. This is why I decided to put Bedok North as my first choice was because that the school was close to my house. Since I had select express stream as one of my choice, I am prepared the challenging that I am going to face ahead no matter how tough is it.
I am Tan Ko Hui (15) from 1C. There are 436 words excluding name, class, version, title and declaration. This is version 1.4, focusing on spelling.
I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling before posting it.
Essay: Topic – Excited for New Year!
Chinese New Year is around the corner, everyone is preparing for the day. Buying new clothes, bags, and shoes and changing to a new hairstyle.
My grandmother, prepare delicacies for example pineapple tarts, cakes, biscuits and agar-agar to serve visitors. Visitors often bring home some of it to eat. Everybody thinks that my grandmother’s is the best; I could not help but agree.
I went to shopping malls to shop for clothes yesterday. I bought a lot of things and had a hard time carrying them back home. My legs were aching after walking for the whole day.
A week ago, I helped my grandmother to bake pineapple tarts after I reached home from school. I helped to put pineapple on the tarts. It was so fun! At night, I helped her to pack the pineapple tarts into containers with my sister.
The next morning, I accompanied my grandmother to the wet market to stock up food for the reunion dinner. We bought shrimps, chicken, fish and many more. Then, we went to the supermarket to buy some abalone.
In the afternoon, my grandmother baked cakes with help from me and my sister. The cakes were in different sizes. The bigger ones are for our own family whereas the smaller ones are for the visitors. We tasted the first batch of cakes after it cooled down and of course, it was delicious! At that moment, I wish I could eat them everyday.
My aunt and her family are coming to my house to eat reunion dinner. I’ve always enjoyed reunion dinners as they are meaningful and the whole family can gather together to celebrate Chinese New Year.
My family usually stays at home on the first day of Chinese New Year. My sister and I will give two mandarin oranges to my mum, grandma and aunt. They will give us red packets in exchange for the mandarin oranges.
My grandmother, sisters and I will serve food and chat with my relatives and they will give us red packets. It was always fun. When there were no people, we always seize the chance to pinch some snacks to eat.
On the second day, my mum usually brings my sisters and me to my aunt’s house and we will eat ‘yu sheng’. We will mix everything together using chopsticks while shouting some auspicious words. Then we will go up, down, up and down. My cousins and I nicknamed ‘yu sheng’ as ‘up, down, up, down’. We normally go home after midnight. I have always loved Chinese New Year as we can get money and buy what I want!
v1.3
nur syafiqah 10 1c 748 words
Hi Mr. Alvin! I am going to relate to you about my essay titled “Happiness”. It was actually my journey to Tioman Island a year ago. It was 3 days 2 nights n holiday. I went there with my uncle and my family. Here is the essay.
On June 16 2008,my family set up as early as 5.30 in the morning for the trip and departed from home to someplace in Orchard but I couldn’t remember what was the name of the place to take a coach to Endau, somewhere in Malaysia.We departed from Singapore was about 7am if I could still remember. The journey was about 4 hours. It was so tiring. I slept in the bus.
Finally at about12pm, we finally reached the jetty terminal at Endau, somewhere in Malaysia.We queued up for the tickets to for to ride into the ferry and for the marine park tickets. I was eager; as it was my first time having a taking a ferry ride! After waiting for about half and hour, we boarded into the ferry. I actually had a headache because the ferry was moving. At the same time, I enjoyed the sceneries of the attractive islands.
Finally we reached the Island. The first thing that was in my mind was about snorkeling .We finally checked into the room. The name of the resort was Paya beach Resort. The room was not that bad and the most awful thing was that the toilet in my room was spoiled! I was was fuming and saddened .So I demanded my parents for the change of room.
Yeah!!! I got another room.Then,we went to rent the snorkeling equipment and spent the day exploring around the island.
The next day after having a light breakfast,we went snorkeling.I was elated when we ride into the boat.The situate that we went snorkeling was in the middle of the sea.I felt nervous and I could visualize how deep the water was.But,we were wearing lifejackets.But at the same time,the seawater was very pure and if you look at it,it is not unfathomable. After the briefing,everyone started going down to the sea.I started wearing the snorkeling mask. I went down and I slipped through the short ladder.It was very greasy.I went into the deep into the water and went afloat again.I realized that my legs were floating. I panicked and I grabbed my father’s hands and my father told me to calm down. I relaxed my mind and took in a deep breath. Everything went back normal.
Yeah!!!I’m in the central of the sea!My mother had sea motion sickness and had forgotten to take her medicine.She actually vomited at the sea and all the fishes crowded at her throw up. She stayed in the boat and the rest of us continued snorkellling.Wow!I really admired the beauty of the nature .The corals were multicolored and the fishes were all in diverse sizes.After snorkeling for two hours,we headed to the marine park to continue snorkeling.(We were given another 2 hours of another snorkeling).The fishes were very immense. I threw some bread at my brother and he shouted as all the fishes (The fishes were very big) crowded around him for the bread. That was the best part! We threw breads at each other and we swam. My mother was no longer dizzy after her bite of ice kachang there. (There were few shops there) Then, we went back to the jetty and went into our room and took a bath and change. Then, we have lunch. After that we changed back and headed to the rock fall. (Located in the forest) We were terrified after seeing a group of monkeys. We then took a stick brought it all the way to the rock fall .The water was so chilly. It was like clear water. The moment I stepped into the water, all my tension disappeared and I relaxed. It was very peaceful.After that, we went to our room and changed again.Then,we took our afternoon snooze. After that we walked along the beach and the jetty. We fed the fishes. I reflected that it was magnificent to spent time with family and all the fun that we had gone through together was all the moment of happiness. The next day, we went back home. I am looking forward to go there again.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
FEAR(verison-1.4)
Ring.....my handphone rang. I answered it. It was Julian, my classmate. He asked if I could go over to his house to complete the science project that was due in a week. I obliged immediately.
An hour later, I was standing before Deer Mansion, a towering apartment building and as I stepped into the lift lobby, I realised my palms had become sweaty. I wondered how I would reach the eighteenth floor where Julian was living.
Anxiety overwhelmed me; hence, I waited to see if anyone would come by and accompany me into the lift. Yes, I suffered from claustrophobia! I feared being confined in a lift alone. Minutes ticked by, unfortunately, no one came along. Therefore, I had no choice but to enter the lift, all by myself.
As the huge steel doors opened, I entered the cave-like lift slowly. The lift’s floor had stains and litter strewn around. One or two buttons were even missing; thus, I let out a sigh when button 18 was there. I pressed it and the doors slammed shut. The lift shuddered and began to ascend. I looked up and noticed the floors moving up slowly.
Suddenly, the lights flickered. Terror seized me. I wondered what was going on. My heart beat fast and I felt suffocated. “Am I going to end my life in this lift?” I feared.
The lift reached the twelfth floor, then the fourteenth. Unexpectedly, the lift vibrated violently and came to a halt. I froze. The blinking lights went out. “When could I get out of the place?” I wondered, shivering. Fear seized me. I was trapped in the pitch-dark elevator. I was all alone. Anxiety overwhelmed me.
Just then, I stepped on something. I grew startled. ‘Was it a dead body slumped in the corner of the lift?’My heart almost skipped a beat. Deliberately, I stepped on it again. It was after all a plastic bag! I let out a sigh of relief.
The next moment, the lift descended rapidly for a few seconds, and then it hit the ground hard. I stood motionless. I became desperate and started pressing all the buttons, hoping to get the emergency button. After several moments, I succeeded on finding it. I pressed it persistently and the alarm bell rang ceaselessly.
Minutes later, I heard a male voice, “Hello, is anyone there?” I responded frantically to it “Don’t worry, help will come soon!” assured the voice. Only then, I gave a sigh of relief overwhelmed me. I waited patiently for rescue to come by. My legs were shivering.
After some tense moments, the doors opened. I saw the world again. A crowd had gathered at the lobby, curious to know what was going on. Indeed, a few retrieved their handphone to take photographs of me, struggling out and assisted by the civil defence officers. I borrowed a handphone from a passer-by and called Julian. “Forget it, I am never coming to your home again, we’ll complete the project in school.” I hung up the phone. While I was walking home, I thank god for letting me out of that situation. It was an unforgettable incident and I will remember till the day I die.
WORDCOUNT-(534)
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Hi ,Mr Lau i am Cheng Hong (21) of 1C...this is the 1.3 version ,i am going to tell you a story that happen to me 2 years ago...this is a fake story.
"I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling BEFORE posting it"
After school, I went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a present for my mother as her birthday was coming soon. After I bought the present, I decided to have my lunch before going back. As I was having my lunch, I saw my best friend, Amacoli. We was talking as we heard a "bum" sound and all the ceiling was falling upon us...my mind was stunned and I fainted.
When I wake up, I saw nothing as the place is very dark. Then I heard someone calling my name. It was my friend.I tried moving but both my arms and legs hurts. I was nervous as my mind is empty. My friend kept talking to me as he knew I in pain and did not want me to end my life just so easily. I really do not know what to do when I heard someone hand phone rang and it was then I found out it was my. I was glad that it is not spoil and I can call for help but I can't even move my hands and legs. I could heard the siren of Police car and Paramedics car but it is was in a very low volume like it was very far from me. I felt like ending my life but I kept hearing Amacoli nagging at me not to close my eyes and suddenly he stop nagging at. I was frightened that I would lost my friends. I saw something walking towards me, I thought I am dead and the spirits had came to fetch me but it was some helper who was going to save us. When they were going to save me, I asked them to save Amacoli first but Amacoli suddenly insisted the plan of saving him first as I am in pain but he was even worst, he was badly injured. I was save and was brought out to the surrounding and when they were going save David, he was dead. I saw them covering his whole body including his face with a cloth. I try to control myself but i can't see my best friend end his life because of me. I can't control myself and ran out to him, I cried out with tears all over my face. I was sent to the Hospital for emergency paramedics. The policeman told me that it was a terrorist act to put bomb in the shopping mall.
(410 words)
16 April 1996, was the day the girl was born. Her name is Pha Qi. Ya! It was me. My mother just gave birth to me. The first word that comes out of my mouth is ‘ONGYEH! ONGYEH!’
She started to grow active and mature. After a few months she started to say ‘AH! GUGO! GAGA!’ When she was 1 years old, she learned many new things. She started leaning how to walk, talk and eating porridge. But, she was very greedy. She does not only want to walk, she started running. She started studying at ‘Apple Tree’ when she is 4 years old. I leaded a happy life. I have a happy family and many good friends until that day, 29 April 2004, a very terrible day.
My grandmother had passed away. She’s the first person in my family, in my life that passed away. I was very sad. After all this, my life change. I disgust some of my relative member. They’re so ‘money face’. Although my parents don’t allow me to know all these things, but I hear some of the part while they’re having their conversation together. I was only Primary 2 that year. While I am sitting at the stairs, my aunt started crying. She was carrying her son. She was saying that her life was very suffering. I really hate her on that day onwards. I felt that all she cares is the money that belongs to my grandmother. She does not even care if my grandmother had passed away. I’ve never hate a person so much in my life before. She did not even respect my grandmother. All she cares is about the money.
One year passed. On 29 April 2005, I was in Primary 3. My family and me entire relative woke up early and go to the temple for my grandmother death anniversary. Because of the soot of the incense, my elder sister, my younger brother and my cousin decided to sit at one side. Suddenly my aunt came to us and said that all the people in this world were poisonous and evil, except her and her family. At first, I don’t get what she was talking as I was too young. But I remembered what she said all this years. After a few years, when I grew up, I finally understand what she’s trying to tell us that year, few years back. On that day onwards, I keep asking myself why my uncle would marry such a wicked woman like her.
Declaration: I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Version 1.3 424 words
16 April 1996, was the day the girl was born. Her name is Pha Qi. Ya! It was me. My mother just gave birth to me. The first word that comes out of my mouth is ‘ONGYEH! ONGYEH!’
She started to grow active and mature. After a few months she started to say ‘AH! GUGO! GAGA!’ When she was 1 years old, she learned many new things. She started leaning how to walk, talk and eating porridge. But, she was very greedy. She does not only want to walk, she started running. She started studying at ‘Apple Tree’ when she is 4 years old. I leaded a happy life. I have a happy family and many good friends until that day, 29 April 2004, a very terrible day.
My grandmother had passed away. She’s the first person in my family, in my life that passed away. I was very sad. After all this, my life change. I disgust some of my relative member. They’re so ‘money face’. Although my parents don’t allow me to know all these things, but I hear some of the part while they’re having their conversation together. I was only Primary 2 that year. While I am sitting at the stairs, my aunt started crying. She was carrying her son. She was saying that her life was very suffering. I really hate her on that day onwards. I felt that all she cares is the money that belongs to my grandmother. She does not even care if my grandmother had passed away. I’ve never hate a person so much in my life before. She did not even respect my grandmother. All she cares is about the money.
One year passed. On 29 April 2005, I was in Primary 3. My family and me entire relative woke up early and go to the temple for my grandmother death anniversary. Because of the soot of the incense, my elder sister, my younger brother and my cousin decided to sit at one side. Suddenly my aunt came to us and said that all the people in this world were poisonous and evil, except her and her family. At first, I don’t get what she was talking as I was too young. But I remembered what she said all this years. After a few years, when I grew up, I finally understand what she’s trying to tell us that year, few years back. On that day onwards, I keep asking myself why my uncle would marry such a wicked woman like her.
Declaration: I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Version 1.4 424 words
Kim Hyuk(40) 1C
Tears of joy
V1.3
Have you ever shed tears of joy? Have you ever been unable to take care of your happiness that you were given? I want to call it ‘Ecstasy’. I have experienced it four times. As if by magic, they happened, on every time, during singing. Although I like singing, they were the long arm of coincidence. They were not the tears of the gold medal winner. They were also not the tears of the actress who is given ‘the Academy Award’. The tears were not the fruits of my effort. It was like catharsis about myself. It can be also about my surroundings or emotion. It is just from thanks for everything.
I shed the first tears of joy when I was thirteen. I was at karaoke in Korea with my friends. We often went for karaoke together. Singing was our congenial interests. We were singing together just like any other holidays.It was ordinary thing, but my tears involuntarily came to my eyes. I was blessed. I thanked all of my friends who were there every time I wanted to be with them. My legs’ strength was gone, I was crying.
The second tears of joy also were come out at karaoke. For a while, my best friend, Esooda and I were become estranged each other by others’ alienation. I frequently went for karaoke with her, so I did not go there during our ‘cold time’. Finally I became thick with her again. We went karaoke as in the past, we sang the song that we had sang in the past. I cried again. I was happy as I could feel the ‘Ecstasy’
The third tears of joy were come out at drum concert that our drummers’ club held. I also played a song I had practised hard. When the finale of the concert, the best drummer of our club played his song. Our all club members went mad with singing and jumping. Although his song was ended, we were still heated, we shouted for an encore. The song was played again, we started to jump again. The tears suddenly welled up in me.
The last tears of joy I experienced were come out at the church in Singapore. I had not gone to church for a while in Singapore. One day, I went to church. I did not know why I had to go there. I instinctively thought I had to go to church. Before the worship, we chanted hymns. I was tranquil. Then I shed tears. I did not exactly know why. I just cried. I gave thanks to God who made me to come to church. It could not be explained.
I think these stories are weird, but only thing I can say is that they are true. I think music can kindle people’s emotion and it can move people’s heart.
472 words
Declaration : I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling
Kim Hyuk(40) 1C
Tears of joy
V1.4
Have you ever shed tears of joy? Have you ever been unable to take care of your happiness that you were given? I want to call it ‘Ecstasy’. I have experienced it four times. As if by magic, they happened, on every time, during singing. Although I like singing, they were the long arm of coincidence. They were not the tears of the gold medal winner. They were also not the tears of the actress who is given ‘the Academy Award’. The tears were not the fruits of my effort. It was like catharsis about myself. It can be also about my surroundings or emotion. It is just from thanks for everything.
I shed the first tears of joy when I was thirteen. I was at karaoke in Korea with my friends. We often went for karaoke together. Singing was our congenial interests. We were singing together just like any other holidays.It was ordinary thing, but my tears involuntarily came to my eyes. I was blessed. I thanked all of my friends who were there every time I wanted to be with them. My legs’ strength was gone, I was crying.
The second tears of joy also were come out at karaoke. For a while, my best friend, Esooda and I were become estranged each other by others’ alienation. I frequently went for karaoke with her, so I did not go there during our ‘cold time’. Finally I became thick with her again. We went karaoke as in the past, we sang the song that we had sang in the past. I cried again. I was happy as I could feel the ‘Ecstasy’
The third tears of joy were come out at drum concert that our drummers’ club held. I also played a song I had practised hard. When the finale of the concert, the best drummer of our club played his song. Our all club members went mad with singing and jumping. Although his song was ended, we were still heated, we shouted for an encore. The song was played again, we started to jump again. The tears suddenly welled up in me.
The last tears of joy I experienced were come out at the church in Singapore. I had not gone to church for a while in Singapore. One day, I went to church. I did not know why I had to go there. I instinctively thought I had to go to church. Before the worship, we chanted hymns. I was tranquil. Then I shed tears. I did not exactly know why. I just cried. I gave thanks to God who made me to come to church. It could not be explained.
I think these stories are weird, but only thing I can say is that they are true. I think music can kindle people’s emotion and it can move people’s heart.
472 words
Declaration : I have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling
On a hot and sunny afternoon as I was going back from school, I saw my uncle, Nelson age forty-three years old. He looks like trailing an old Man. I asked him what are you doing. He just ignored me and walked off hurriedly felt agitated as he refused to tell me what is he doing I was curious what he was doing so I followed him silently watching his very movement. I gave myself away when he knocked over some old newspaper left outside and tripped and hit his face on the ground and some teeth fall out of his mouth. Then he looked at me and banged my head leaving a bump on my head I was forced to go back home.
My uncle is a full-time private detective .He has a only daughter named Florence aged sixteen .Her mother died when she was young .As for me, I am just free-loading in the house. My parents went on an oversea trip to Japan. They will be coming back in two-week time. That very night, Florence cooked a homemade dinner for three of us. Later that night I slept peacefully that night.
Three days after that night, there was a festival at queentown area at a clear clearing called the fire festival. Some people are having a whale of their time and other had started burning some firewood and the last one is already burned. When they saw an unidentified figure in the fire, they quickly called the police to come checked the figure. When the police came and checked the burned body and they concluded that this is a murder case.
When the media catch whole of this information and broadcast immediately and it showed while I was eating my food and my uncle nearly choked when they showed the picture of the victim and named him. The victim named was Ryan aged forty-two years old.
The police asking for helped to investigate this case called us the very next day. When we got to the police station, we saw a cancer looking man stand by the chief police. He was given the insurance money of the dead man. Then my uncle was shocked because that man hired him to trail the victim. He did that because someone was following him everywhere. The insurance money was five billion dollars because they make bet who will live the longest and sadly the victim loses.
The man named Roy aged forty-two has gone oversea on a holiday with his friends. The time was between the murder took place time limit. He was going to use the insurance money to repay a debt after that he will travel the world. I was asked to hold a paper bag and I was curious about the paper bag and took a peek in and accidentally dropped the document inside. I was told to pick them up. Each picture I picked was a picture of Roy taking a picture with his friends and each picture has a clock in it as if he wanted to proof his alibi. There were some other pictures that was taken before the victim was killed I notice a very strange way the victim was acting. The Monday and Tuesday photos that was taken by uncle has him using his right hand in very picture and Wednesday he was using his left hand in every photo.
I looked at the time and quickly called a cab and went down to the airport because Roy flight is going leave very soon. I confronted him in front of the airport as he was running to the airport. I told him that he was the murder because you killed him before you buried in the pile of firewood when there is no one around. You have imposter to dressed like the victim and run around all daylong but he made one grave mistake is that the victim is a right-handed person and the imposter’s a left-handed person. Then he stayed silent for awhile and laughed and confessed he killed Ryan himself and I recorded this on tape that I secretly hid in my pocket and he heard my clinking sound and noticed a tape in my pocket. He was furious and tried to kill me but luck was on my side, that the police come looking for me and noticed Roy strangling me. He was caught for attempting to murder and murder so he was jailed for life and I gave a sigh of relieves.
I was given a bump on my head for running out and getting all the credit to myself by my uncle. I guess all well end well. I learned my lesson for not being to full of myself.
Declarations have checked my work firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary, thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling, sir.
Clarissa hui
1 c
version 1.1(focus on content)
(791 words)
Hi sir! I AM KENCHAN FROM SEC 1 C
WORD COUNT (623 WORDS!).MY COMPOSITION IS ABOUT SADNESS AND HAPPINESS.
THIS IS VERSION 1.4. (Spelling)
Title: fantasy
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
‘Help somebody save me!’ cried the dazzling princess. The Evil witch said to the princess,’ All I wanted was your magnificent face and I will not hurt you my dear and after I completed my voodooism,
I will switch your face with mine!’ laughed the evil witch. ‘NO! Please NO!’ begged the princess. The witch said,’ It will not hurt a bit my dear.’ After that, the witch left the putrid room.
Soon the news of the missing attractive princess is spread over the kingdom of cessation. The majesty is much tormented about his own daughter’s impregnability. The empress tried to confess majesty to cede a reward that can find the princess and also the reward includes their half of their kingdom and could take the hand of the princess.
While spreading the news, there was a warrior whose swordsmanship has reached the highest level of training who is called Ken. He went to the king and announced, ‘I will go and rescue the princess and bring her back protected.’ ‘First, I will thank you first for your bravery. Next, is there any thing that I could do for you?’ ‘Yes, my lord, could you take care of my slumping mother? She needs somebody to take
of.’ ‘That will be dandy with me.’ ‘Then, I am off.’
Although the journey was difficult, Ken finally reached the witch’s castle. On the midway, he met an aging woman begging for food. He did not ponder and fleetly gave the woman his own food. The woman was thankful for Ken giving to her. She gave her ring to Ken and said, ‘this ring can help to reach to the safely.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Welcome and farewell.’ She in a flash flew away.
Outside the castle there was a dragon keeping guard outside. Ken took out his sword, made of crystal, charged at the dragon. The dragon was caught off guard and was slain in a flash. Ken quickly went into the castle and found out that the princess was in a torture room. Oh my god! The princess’s body was full of slashes and the face was not charming any more. The face was an old hag!
Ken could not believe this! He quickly pick the princess up and to his horror, the princess fainted without saying anything……. He quickly, with the princess, dashed out of the putrid room. But he was halt by a guard- and foul ogre. He quickly takes out his crystal sword and start battling with the ogre. The battle was a gripping fight. Ken almost died. He quickly took the princess out of the putrid room. Suddenly, he was halt by the witch. He took out his sword and battle with the witch. When the princess woke up, she saw ken standing up, while the witch was slain. She said, ‘wow my hero you had saved my life!’ exclaimed the princess. But the scene was not what the princess wanted…..
Ken was dripping with blood. He felled down without saying a word. The princess quickly knelt down beside Ken. Tears started to drip down the princess’s eyes. The tears dripped on Ken’s eyes and instantly, the tears had saved Ken’s life!! After defeating the witch, the princess’s was back to normal! He sat down beside the princess’s side and they went back to the kingdom. The kingdom was celebrating the hero’s return. The king announced that Ken shall marry the princess. Ken was very jubilant for receiving the princess as his bride. After that, Ken treated the kingdom with peace.
Declaration: I have checked my work four times, firstly for content, secondly for vocabulary thirdly for grammar and lastly for spelling SIR!
Post a Comment
<< Home