Grammar & Inventive Writing
Wans a porn a time, god wan litter ger — Litter Laid Raiding Hoot. She wan 2 go 2 Grandma house, moarning oredy she go out. She god tek come wan basket 2 put flower 4 Grandma.
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"Ah Ma! I cum oready, open der door leh?" she tok.
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Den Grandma oso say bak, "Cum in lor, I nvr close!"
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Litter Laid Raiding Hoot open der house n go inside der door.
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When she go inside, she c Grandma on top of der bed. She go ask, "Ah Ma, how cum ur eye big-big wan?"
When she go inside, she c Grandma on top of der bed. She go ask, "Ah Ma, how cum ur eye big-big wan?"
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"Like dat, den I can c ur fat juicy legs mah!!!" Grandma tok bak.
"Like dat, den I can c ur fat juicy legs mah!!!" Grandma tok bak.
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"Ah Mah, how cum ur tooths is so sharp wan?"
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"Den more easier 2 bite ur chubby cheeks laah!!!!"
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"Ah Mah, how cum......."
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"Aiyaa! So mang-nee question ah u! Wan 2 die izzit? I better faster it u! I not Ah Mah, I air-nee-mer u noe?"
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"Wah! Litter Laid Raiding Hoot vary scared wan. She screem vary loud, but laid oredy ah, der air-nee-mer oredy it her!
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Sar-den-lee god wan peeper — kad wood wan — go inside der house. He go kad der air-nee-mer stomach n tek out evryting, but he 2 late, Litter Laid Raiding Hoot bcum pangsai oredy......
Sar-den-lee god wan peeper — kad wood wan — go inside der house. He go kad der air-nee-mer stomach n tek out evryting, but he 2 late, Litter Laid Raiding Hoot bcum pangsai oredy......
~ Dee End (… really wan!) ~
Please rewrite the story in Standard Grammatical English (SGE). Pay particular attention to the absence of the simple past tense.
Little Red Riding Hood (SGE Version)
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood......
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Click here to watch the movie "Little Red Riding Hood 2 - Little Red's Sweet Revenge".
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Can you list at least 3 differences between Standard Grammatical English (SGE) and the "SMinglish" (SMS English) - Singapore Colloquial English (Singlish) used in the narrative?
HIGHER ORDER THINKING SKILLS (SYNTHESIS)
Why are ladies in fairy tales depicted as helpless damsels in distress, who require the proverbial gallant knight in shining armour to save them?
Think of an alternate ending to the narrative (click to view video), where Little Red Riding Hood is empowered with the ability to defend herself against the wolf.
Would the narrative have ended differently, if Little Red were a PTI* at Pulau Tekong's BMTC* 2? Empower Little Red with strength and intellect, and have fun adapting the narrative (click to view video).
*PTI: Physcial Training Instructor
*BMTC: Basic Military Training Centre
posted by AL @ 1:00 AM
27 Comments:
LIAN FENGXIAN
WANG HAOLIN
Little Red Riding Hood (English Version)
Once upon a time, there was a girl called Little Red Riding Hood. She wanted to go to grandma’s house, so she woke up early in the morning. She took a basket of flowers with her.
She didn’t want to walk so long, so she took a shorter way. Oh! She didn’t know there was a wolf following her! She walked happily, until she came to grandma’s house.
"Grandma! Grandma! It’s me! Please open the door!" she talks. Grandma replied, "Come in, I didn’t lock the door!" Little Red Riding Hood opened the door and went into the house.
When she went into the house, she saw grandma on top of the bed. She asked, “grandma, why was that your eyes so big?"
"So I can see you!" grandma replied back.
"Grandma, why was that your ears were so long?"
"So it’s easier to hear you"
“Grandma, why was that ......."
"why was that you had so many questions”! I think you want to die! I better eat you now! I am not grandma, I am a wolf, I bet you didn’t know?"
Oh! Little Red Riding Hood screamed and she shout out loudly but it’s too late, the animal had eaten her. She went inside the animal’s stomach.
Suddenly a woodcutter had gone inside the house. He wanted to save the Little Red Riding Hood so he cut the animal stomach and take out everything, but it’s too late, Little Red Riding Hood had already become shit............
Edited Answer
LIAN FENGXIAN
WANG HAOLIN
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood. She wanted to go to her grandma’s home/house, so she woke up early in the morning.
She took a basket of flowers with her.
She didn’t want to walk a long way, so she took a shortcut.
Oh, She didn’t know there was a wolf following her!
She walked happily, until she came to grandma’s house.
"Grandma! Grandma! It’s me! Please open the door!" she begged.
Grandma replied, "Come in, I didn’t lock the door!"
Little Red Riding Hood opened the door and went into the house.
Inside, she saw grandma on top of the bed. She asked, “grandma, why are your eyes so big?"
"So that I can see you clearly!" grandma replied.
"Grandma, why are your ears were so long?"
"To make easier to hear you!"
“Grandma, why are..."
"why do you have so many questions?”
"I think you want to die!" I'd better eat you now!
"I am not grandma, I am a wolf, I bet you didn’t know?"
Oh! Little Red Riding Hood screamed and she shouted loudly, but it was too late, the wolf had eaten her.
She went into the animal’s stomach.
Suddenly a woodcutter came to the rescue. He wanted to save Little Red Riding Hood, so he cut the animal's stomach and emptied everything, but it was too late, Little Red Riding Hood had already died............
-Shan En-
Once upon a time, there's a litter girl called — Litter Red Raiding Hoot. She wanted to go to Grandma's house, so she went out early in the morning. She took a basket with two pots of flowers along.
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"Grandma,i'm here,could you please open the door for me?" she talk.
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Grandma replied, "Come on in,the door is not locked!"
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Litter Red Raiding Hoot open the door and went in.
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When she was inside, she saw Grandma on her bed. She asked, "Grandma, why are your eyes so big?"
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"So that i can look at your pretty face !!!" Grandma replied.
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"Grandma,why are your ears so long?"
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"So that i can listen to what you say with much moreunderstanding!!!!"
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"Grandma,why is itthat...."
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"Hey!can you stop all your crap?! You are so annoying! I guess should eat you up! Anyway,I'm not your grandmother!I'm just a big bad wolf!Hahahahahaha"
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"Little Red Raiding was scared,but she plugged up her courage to fight back the wolf,she took an axe which was right beside grandma's head and chop the wolf's tail.
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The wolf scream it's lungs off and beg Little Red Raiding Hood to let him off,Little Red Raiding Hood Agreed but demand for her Grandma back.
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In the end Little Red Raiding Hood found her grandma under the bed,and to Little Red Raiding Hood,it was a relief that her grandma is safe and from then on they never ever hear from the wolf again.
~ The End ~
Little Red Riding Boot(Boring Version)
Once upon a time, there was a girl who knows magic called Little Red Riding Boot. She wanted to go to grandma’s hotel, so she woke up early in the morning. She took a pail of blood with her.
She didn’t want to walk so long, so she took a magical way. Oh! She didn’t know there was a vampire following her! She walked happily, until she came to grandma’s house.
"Grandma! Grandma! It’s me! Please open the door!" she said. Grandma replied, "Come in, I didn’t lock the door!" Little Red Riding Boot opened the door and went into the hotel.
When she went into the hotel, she saw grandma on top of the bed. She asked, “grandma, why are your eyes so gigantic?"
"So it's easier see you!" grandma replied back.
"Grandma, why are your ears so long?"
"So it’s easier to hear you"
“Grandma, why is it that ......."
"why is it that you have so many questions”! I think you want to die now!!! I better eat you now! I am not grandma, I am a vampire, I bet you didn’t know?"
Oh! Little Red Riding Boot screamed and she shout out loudly but it’s too late, the vampire had already suck her blood and drank the blood of pail Little Red Riding Boot had brought for her grandma. She went inside the vampire’s stomach.
Inside, Red Riding Boot use a magic called paralyze to stop the vampire from moving and she used bloody spear and blood wall to kill the vampire.Then she used bloody knife to cut open the vampire's body,took his head and sold it for 300kk(300 million=300,000,000)
(The End)
Long be4 that time, got wan litter ger — Litter Laid Miz toot. She had a muster degree in hunting & mugsmansip. Wun diey arh, she wan 2 go 2 the Grandma house near Lim Zu Kang cemetly. Moarning she juz go out like tat. She god tek come waan basket 2 poot flower 4 the Grandma lorh. But her busket like god other thing wan...
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She leach her ama house 12 owels later becoz she lide on a turtle.
"Ah Ma! I come oready, open der door leh?" she talk.
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Den Grandma oso say back, "Come in lah, I neber close wad!"
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Litter Laid Raiding Hoot open der house n go inside der door.
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When she go inside, she see Grandma on top of der bed. She go ask, "Ah Ma, how cum u glow so big?"
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"So I won ged bully maahhh!!!" Grandma say back.
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"Ah Mah, how cum ur yer face gleen-gleen wan?"
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"Becoz i do make up wad!!!!"
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"Ah Mah, how cum......."
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"Aiyaa! So mang-nee question ah you.... wan 2 die izzit? I better faster cook u in cully and it u! I not Ah Mah, I giant u noe?"
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Wah! Litter Laid Raiding Hoot act scared waan. She scream vary loud, but she take out a sotgun an blast away the giant's haed!
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She then sell thee giant's skin an organs to a bucher and the big bonez to a museum. She then becum lich loh...
Long befor your time, there was a litter girl named Little Miss Toot. She had a master degree in hunting & marksmansip. Wun day, she want to go to her Grandma's house near Lim Chu Kang cemetry.
She left early in the morning. She took along a basket with two boquet of flowers for her Grandma. But her basket contains some other things.
She leach her ama house 12 owels later becoz she lide on a turtle.
"Hello Ah Ma! I'm her, plz open the door." she asked.
Grandma replied, "Come in, I did not close the door!"
Little Miss Toot open the door and went inside.
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When she went inside, she see saw her Grandma in her bed. She ask, "Ah Ma, Why have u grown so big?"
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"Oh, So that I won't get bullied!!!" Grandma say back.
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"Ah Mah, how come is your face green?"
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"Because I did my make up!!!!"
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"Ah Mah, how cum......."
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"Shut up, or i'll eat u!!!" the 'granma' replied.
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Wow! Litter Miss Toot acted scared and she screamed very loud. However, she took out a sotgun an blast away the giant's head!
She sold the giant's skin an organs to a bucher and the big bones to a museum. She then became rich...
Once upon a time, got one little girl — Little red riding hood. She want to go to Grandma's house, morning already she went out. She got took one basket to put flower for Grandma.
.
"Ah Ma! I come already,please open the door?" she talked
.
then Grandma also say back, "Come in lah, I did not lock the door!"
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Litle red Riding Hood open the door and go inside the house.
.
When she went inside, she saw Grandma on top of her bed. She went to ask, "Ah Ma, how come your eye so huge?"
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"if it is big, then I can see your fat juicy legs !!!" Grandma replied back.
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"Ah Mah, how come ur teeth so sharp wan?"
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"then easier to bite your chubby cheeks!!!!"
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"Ah Mah, how come......."
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"sigh!many qestion u! Want me to die is it?
I not ah ma, i am a animal u know?
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"sbouting!little red riding hood is veri scared. she screamed very loud but still nobody come and help her.
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suddenly, got one people.— cut wood one — went inside the house.He wood cutter.. he cut the animal into half and killed it.
Little red riding hood thank the wood cutter.
To be continued........
By: Little,Red,Riding and Hood. :p
Once upon a time, there was a normal but going to be famous boy- the Little BLack Riding Hood!!! One day, he wanted to go to his Granddad's house. He went out early in the morning, before the Sun rised. He took a bag to put some non-poisonous mushroom on the way
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"granddad" I come aready can you open the door please?" he asked.
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"The door is not closed! You open it by yourself!" Grandad shouted from the house.
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Little black Raiding Hood opened the door and go inside the house.
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When he went inside, he saw Grandad lying on his bed. He asked, "Ah Gong, how come your eye became so big?!"
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"Like that, I can see your fat juicy legs !!!" Granddad replied.
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The little black riding hood then studied the features of his granddad for a while and asked,"How did your teeth became so large???"
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"It would be more easier to bite your chubby legs".
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"Ah Gong, how come......"
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why are you asking so much questions if you asked more questions i will eat you up ". Black riding hood asked ," who are you?" "I am a wolf"granddad replied.
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The litle Black Riding Hood screamed at the top of her lungs. As the wolf approached her, opening his mouth, the little black riding hood gave a punch into his mouth. It caused the wolf's teeth to crack and he screamed in pain, covering his mouth.
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The wolf immediately ran away
~ The End ~
Once upon a time, got one little girl— Little Led Riding Toot. She wanted to go to Grandma's house,early oin the morning she went out already.She brought along a basket to put flowers for Grandma.
"Ah Ma! It's me I've come to visit you'open the door leh?" she said.
Den Grandma replied, "Cum in lor, I nvr close the door!"
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Litter Led Riding Toot open der door n go inside der door.
.
When she go inside, she c Grandma on top of der bed. She go ask, "Ah Ma, how cum ur eye big-big wan?"
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"Like dat, den I can c you clearer mah!!!" Grandma tok bak.
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"Ah Mah, how cum ur tooths is so sharp wan?"
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"Den more easier 2 chew the food mah!!!!"
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"Ah Mah, how cum your nose so long one......"
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"Aiyaa! So can smell you mah!
"Ah ma' why....." AlyAa wHy go0t so manny question foe miie???Wan 2 die izzit? I better faster eat u! I not Ah Mah, I air-nee-mer u noe?"
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"Wah! Litter Laid Raiding Hoot vary scared wan. She screem vary loud,den as the "air-nee-mer" came closer, she raised her leg and gave a forceful "KICK" towards the wolf....."Ahhhh!!!" pain..... pain..... but the wolf still persevered and came up on its feet again.Once again, it tried to eat Little Led Rding Toot but she made an about turn and......"ArchAr!!" the wolf was kicked on its stomach again.... The wolf vomited Led Riding Toot's Amah out and rAn away.........
Once upon a time, there was this rich boy named big blue hood. He wanted to visit his Godmother who lives in a village named "very quiet". He wanted to do that when his mum goes overseas for work as his mum won't allow him to go anywhere on his own. he decided to be independent and didnt realised that he would be kidnapped as he is rich.
His mum left for work the next day and he sneek out of his house as his maids might see him.He had to pass this forest where people rumoured that it was haunted, so no one dared to walk through it. As he walked, he didnt realise that he was being tailed. As he was reaching his Godma's house, the kidnappers caught hold of him and dragged him to a side. They tied him up and sealed his mouth. He was very frightened and didnt know what to do. His Godma heard some noise outside and decided to take a look. To her horror, she saw her beloved Godson and she dialled for the police. The kidnappers parked their van far away and did not remember the route back. So big bluehood and one of the kidnappers sat there to wait for the van to bring them out. As they waited, the police arrived. The polive caught the kidnappers and brought them to the police station for questioning. His mum had to come all the way back to see him. He got scolded and didnt want to be independent anymore.
Once upon a time, got one small little boy - Small Blue Riding Bandana. He wanted to go visit his Grandfather one morning. He brought along a bag full of sweets and chocolates to share with his grandfather.
"Ah Gong! I come liao! Open the door NOW!" He shouted when he arrived at the doorstep.
"Come in lar," Grandfather replied.
Small Blue Riding Bandana kicked the door open and ran into the house.
When he went in, he spotted Grandfather lying on the sofa under a blanket, watching tv.
Small Blue Riding Bandana asked "Ah Gong, why your eyes sooo big?"
"Sos that I can see how fat and tasty you are," he replied.
"Huh? Ah Gong you siao ar? Why your teeth also so big also
?" Small Blue Riding Bandana wondered.
"Better to chew your meat mah!" "Grandfather" replied.
"I no meat, I only brought sweets and..."
Before Small Blue Riding Bandana could finish his sentence, his "Grandfather", the wolf, leapt out from under the blanket and pounced on him.
"What the..." Small Blue Riding Bandana shouted.
"You're my lunch" the wolf said as he grinned.
Suddenly, Little Blue Riding Bandana swung he leg and kicked the wolf as hard as he could.
The wolf rolled on the floor as he grabbed his leg and screamed in pain.
"You're dead meat" Small Blue Riding Banadana said as he pulled out his Karbine from his bag.
He pointed it at the wolf's head and questioned him.
"Where's my Ah Gong, you stupid wolf?"
"He... He is in the storeroom over there,"the wolf replied while trembling in fear.
As Small Blue Riding Bandana opened the storeroom and looked for his Grandfather, the wolf took the opportunity and tried to pounce on Small Blue Riding Bandana from behind.
But, after years of martial arts training, Small Blue Bandana could sense the wolf and he turned around and started to shoot at the wolf.
The wolf dodged the bullets one by one, bending here and there, just like in the Matrix.
Small Blue Riding Bandana threw his Karbine onto the floor and pulled out his samurai sword which he used to slay the wolf.
The wolf was chopped into pieces after Small BLue Riding Bandana saved his Grandfather and they had him for lunch that day
-THE END-
Once upon a time, got one small little boy - Small Blue Riding Bandana. He wanted to go visit his Grandfather one morning. He brought along a bag full of sweets and chocolates to share with his grandfather.
"Ah Gong! I come liao! Open the door NOW!" He shouted when he arrived at the doorstep.
"Come in lar," Grandfather replied.
Small Blue Riding Bandana kicked the door open and ran into the house.
When he went in, he spotted Grandfather lying on the sofa under a blanket, watching tv.
Small Blue Riding Bandana asked "Ah Gong, why your eyes sooo big?"
"Sos that I can see how fat and tasty you are," he replied.
"Huh? Ah Gong you siao ar? Why your teeth also so big also
?" Small Blue Riding Bandana wondered.
"Better to chew your meat mah!" "Grandfather" replied.
"I no meat, I only brought sweets and..."
Before Small Blue Riding Bandana could finish his sentence, his "Grandfather", the wolf, leapt out from under the blanket and pounced on him.
"What the..." Small Blue Riding Bandana shouted.
"You're my lunch" the wolf said as he grinned.
Suddenly, Little Blue Riding Bandana swung he leg and kicked the wolf as hard as he could.
The wolf rolled on the floor as he grabbed his leg and screamed in pain.
"You're dead meat" Small Blue Riding Banadana said as he pulled out his Karbine from his bag.
He pointed it at the wolf's head and questioned him.
"Where's my Ah Gong, you stupid wolf?"
"He... He is in the storeroom over there,"the wolf replied while trembling in fear.
As Small Blue Riding Bandana opened the storeroom and looked for his Grandfather, the wolf took the opportunity and tried to pounce on Small Blue Riding Bandana from behind.
But, after years of martial arts training, Small Blue Bandana could sense the wolf and he turned around and started to shoot at the wolf.
The wolf dodged the bullets one by one, bending here and there, just like in the Matrix.
Small Blue Riding Bandana threw his Karbine onto the floor and pulled out his samurai sword which he used to slay the wolf.
The wolf was chopped into pieces after Small BLue Riding Bandana saved his Grandfather and they had him for lunch that day
-THE END-
My own new story
WANG HAOLIN
Once upon a time, there was a girl called The Little Blue Hiding Hood.
She wanted to play the XBOX, PlayStaion2 and her GAMEBOY at her grandpa's house.
She picked some pretty flowers to please her grandpa.
She saw a wolf following her, so she played hide-and-seek with it.
Then the wolf bangs on a tree, or drop into a bowl of water.
The wolf was so angry that it killed itself by bang on a rock.
Then the Little Blue Hiding Expert carried it to her grandpa's house.
At last Little Blue Hiding Expert and her grandpa had the wolf for lunch.
She also had the happiest time she ever had-playing her XBOX, PlayStaion2 and her GAMEBOY!
fiona
once upon a time there was a girl
called LITTLE FAT RIDING HOOD.she wanted to give a basket of flowers to her grandmother.
when she reached her grandmother's house,she called her grandmother to open the door than grandma said" you are so smelly.Am i.
Than grandma opened the door with her nose closed.When Little Fat Riding Hood came in the house grandma said"how come your armpit is so smelly ,than Little FAT Riding Hood said"because i didn't wash it for ten years.After that the wolf eat her but the wolf cannot eat her because she was to fat that the wolf choke to death.
LIAN FENGXIAN
Once upon a time, there was a LITTER FAT LAIDING BUFFALO wanted to go AMA house.The buffalo go and plucked some
flowers because her armpit is smelly as a dirty underwear.
When the BUFFALO arrive AMA 'house, she asked;"can you open the door?" AMA replied "SIAO A YOU, YOU SO SMELLY ALSO WANT TO COME ?" then Ama screamed . suddenly,the wolf com for the rescue,it tried to eat the BUFFALO but it is too smellyfor it
Miko and cheryl
The Big Hungry Rounding Hood
Once upon a time ,there was a fat girl call Big Hungry Rounding Hood. One day, Big Hungry Rounding Hood's mother ask her to visit Bak Kut Teh uncle.
She went to Bak Kut Teh uncle's house and knock at Bak Kut Teh uncle's house door. knock, knock,knock, who there ? It is me ,
Big Hungry Rounding
Hood. Bak Kut Teh uncle say the door is not lock ,come in lah.
Miko and cheryl
The Big Hungry Rounding Hood
Once upon a time ,there was a fat girl call Big Hungry Rounding Hood. One day, Big Hungry Rounding Hood's mother ask her to visit Bak Kut Teh uncle.
She went to Bak Kut Teh uncle's house and knock at Bak Kut Teh uncle's house door. knock, knock,knock, who there ? It is me ,
Big Hungry Rounding
Hood. Bak Kut Teh uncle say the door is not lock ,come in lah.Miko and cheryl
The Big Hungry Rounding Hood
Once upon a time ,there was a fat girl call Big Hungry Rounding Hood. One day, Big Hungry Rounding Hood's mother ask her to visit Bak Kut Teh uncle.
She went to Bak Kut Teh uncle's house and knock at Bak Kut Teh uncle's house door. knock, knock,knock, who there ? It is me ,
Big Hungry Rounding
Hood. Bak Kut Teh uncle say the door is not lock ,come in lah.Bak Kut Teh uncle do you have some Bak Kut Teh ? no I don't have anymore Big Hungry Rounding . why is your ear so big ask Big Hungry Rounding hood ?
to hear you clearly.
why is your eye so big ask
Big Hungry Rounding hood ?
to see you cleanly
why is your mouth so big ask Big Hungry Rounding hood?
to eat you up.
Big Hungry Rounding hood wa try to run away but she was to fat. she was eaten up by a x-wolf.Big Hungry Rounding was too fat that the x-wolf was to fat to walk and the Bak Kut Teh Uncle call the police and the police rush to the Bak Kut Teh uncle 's house and the x-wolf was thor into the jail.
(EDITED)
Long befor your time, there was a litter girl named Little Miss Toot. She had a Master's Degree in Animal Hunting & Marksmansip. One day, she wanted to go to her Grandma's house near the Lim Chu Kang cemetry.
She left early in the morning and brought along a basket with two bouquets of Geraniums for her Grandma. However, her basket contained some other mysterious things.
She reached her granma's house 12 hours later because she rode on a turtle.
"Hello Ah Ma! I'm here, please open the door." she kindly requested.
Grandma curtly replied, "Come in, I did not close the door!"
Little Miss Toot opened the door and entered.
When she stepped in, she saw her Grandma on her bed. She exclaimed, "Ah Ma, Why have u grown so big?"
"Oh, So that I won't get bullied!!!" Grandma replied with a snarl.
"Ah Mah, why is your face green?"
"Oh, I applied some make up!!!!"
"Ah Mah, why......."
"Shut up, or i'll eat u!!!" the 'grandma' replied.
Wow! Litter Miss Toot acted scared and she screamed as loud as she could. However, she took out a shotgun and blasted the giant's head away!
She sold the giant's skin and the organs to a butcher and its big bones to a museum. She then became rich...
Once upon a time,There was one little girl — Little red riding hood. She want to go to Grandma's house, morning already she went out. She brought one basket to put flowers for Grandma.
.
"Ah Ma! I am already here,can you please open the door?" she said
.
Then Grandma also said back, "Come in , I did not lock the door!"
.
Litle red Riding Hood open the door and went inside the house.
.
When she went inside, she saw her Grandma on top of her bed. She went to ask, "Ah Ma, why is your eye so huge?"
.
"if it is big, then I can see your fat and juicy legs !!!" Grandma replied back.
.
"Ah Mah, why is tour teeth so sharp?"
"Then its easier to bite your chubby cheeks!!!!"
.
"Ah Mah, how come......."
.
"sigh!you have so many question to ask me!you want me to die is it?
I not ah ma, i am a animal u know?
.
"sbouting!little red riding hood felt very scared. she screamed at the top of her voice but still nobody come and help her.
.
suddenly, got someone.— he's a woodcutter — went inside the house.He cut the animal into half and killed it.
Little red riding hood thank the wood cutter.
To be continued........
By: Little,Red,Riding and Hood. :p
(Edited)
Once upon a time, there was a normal, but going to be famous boy- the Little BLack Riding Hood!!! One day, he wanted to go to his Granddad's house. He went out early in the morning,even before the Sun rose. He took a bag along to put some non-poisonous mushrooms on the way there.
.
"Granddad, I come already,can you please open the door?" he asked.
.
"The door is not closed! You can open it by yourself!" Grandad shouted from the house.
.
Little black Riding Hood opened the door and go inside the house.
.
When he went inside, he saw Grandad lying on his bed. He asked, "Ah Gong, how come your eye became so big?"
.
"Like that, I can see your fat, juicy legs!!!" Granddad replied, drooling.
.
The little black riding hood then studied the features of his granddad for a while and asked,"How did your teeth became so sharp???"
.
"So that it would be easier to bite your chubby cheeks!!!"Grandad said while he drooled even more.
.
"Ah Gong, how come did......"
.
"Why are you asking so much questions?! If you ask anymore questions, I'll eat you up!!!". Black riding hood asked ,"Who are you?!" "I am a...WOLF!!!"the wolf replied.
.
The litle Black Riding Hood screamed at the top of her lungs. As the wolf approached her, opening his mouth, the little black riding hood throw a punch into his mouth. It caused the wolf's teeth to crack and it screamed in pain, covering it's mouth.
.
The wolf escaped immediately
~ The End ~
Stop by tattoo and piercing I just read this great article about tattoo and piercing you might be interested in.
FROM:YI XIONG
Once upon a time, there was an adorable girl called Red Raiding Hook, she was going to attend her kind grandmother’s winter wedding .On the way to her grandmother’s wooden cottage, a hungry wolf saw Red Raiding Hook. It approached her slowly with its usual sneer and spoke politely: “ Oh it’s my cute Red Raiding Hook, I’m so happy to see you so healthy and youthful .Your beauty really brightened up my day.”
“ Is it true? I’m so happy to hear that.” Red Raiding Hook shameless replied immediately with a sweet smile.
“Yes, of course it is true. Hahaha….yes.” The wolf couldn’t stop laughing the moment he thought of swallowing the girl alive.
“Oh what a happy day, I get to see a grand wedding and hear compliments on my way. Thanks to you my lovely wolf!” Red Raiding smiles again, not aware of the grave danger that she was in.
“What! you mean there’s a wedding taking place?” asked the wolf in astonishment.
“Yes, it’s for my merciful grandmother and brave woodcutter Jack,” proudly answered Red Raiding Hook.
“What a big day! I get to enjoy a human feast today ! A rare opportunity to have my empty stomach filled with good food,” thought the wolf to himself fantasizing about his Christmas feast.
The wolf grinned cheekily and spoke to Red Raiding Hook again. “Can I accompany you to the wedding and send my best regards to them?”added the wolf loudy.
“Sure you can! I would love that ,” Replied Red Raiding Hook with a sweeter smile.
Off they went and not long after, they reached grandma’s house. Red Raiding Hook gently knocked on the front door and was warmly welcomed by Woodcutter Jack.
“Jack, where is my grandmother?” inquired Red Raiding Hook.
“She has gone out to pick some delicious mushrooms. She will be back soon . Aaaarrrr…..! There’s a large wolf behind you. Quick! Red Raiding run out through backdoor, run for your life.”
“Be cool Mr Jack ,he is not hostile. He just wants to join in with the fun, that’s all.” laughed Red Raiding Hook.
“Oh! I see, welcome! Please come in and have some herbal tea first.” offered Jack in relief .
The biggest disaster had finally occured, the wolf had easily come into the house and what awaits Red Raiding Hook and Jack was the vicious man-eater and the worst nightmare.
The ruthless wolf was straightening it’s claws, revealing sharp shining nails. He was about to savagely kill little Red Raiding Hook when she suddenly had a massive gastric pain. She moaned loudly in pain and rushed quickly to the washroom. The wolf was taken by surprise but that did not stop him. He ingeniously sealed Jack ‘s big mouth with one of his sharp claws and using the other claw, grabbed Jack’s bald, head and slowly swallowed him . All was over in a minute, not a mess was left. the wolf did a clean job. His seemingly insatiable hunger was at last satiated but he was too greedy to stop.
Subsequently, he ambled towards the washroom and was about to kick open the door. When a shrill sound alerted him of his next prey. It was the grandma who had returned from harvesting her mushrooms .She yelled to Jack to open the door. The cunning wolf opened the door and hid behind it. Totally unaware of the wolf’s devious trap. Ignorant Grandma walked into the house .. Suddenly she was assaulted from behind and was swallowed by the wolf.
Now it was down to the wolf’s last prey — Red Raiding Hook.As he steadily crept towards the washroom door. Nimbly and surreptiously, he opened the door and a strong odour rushed into his nostril. It was the smelliest odour, he had ever smelt. His started to feel drowsy and his stomach was turning upside down. He rushed into the washroom and vomited what he had just eaten .The grandma and Jack was saved, but. the wolf suffered brain damage for inhaling too much toxic gas. He was dying. Red Raiding Hook was sitting on the toilet, not knowing what had happened.
Lightning(Boon Fong)
Little Red Riding Boot(Modified Version)
Once upon a time, there was a girl who knows magic called Little Red Riding Boot. She was as wise as a owl(she is 1213 years old). She wanted to go to grandma's<---(9576 years old) hotel, which is very far, so she woke up early in the morning. She took a pail of blood with her for her grandma(They are both vampires).
She didn’t want to walk so long, so she took a shorter way. Oh!But alas, she didn’t know there was a vampire following her! She walked happily, until she came to grandma’s hotel.
"Grandma! Grandma! It’s me! Please open the door!" she said. Grandma replied, "Come in, I didn’t lock the door!" Little Red Riding Boot opened the door and went into the hotel.
In the hotel, she saw grandma lying on the bed. She asked, “Grandma, why are your eyes so gigantic?"
"So it's easier see you!" Grandma replied back.
"Grandma, why are your ears so long?"
"So it’s easier to hear you"
“Grandma, why is it that ......."
"why is it that you ask so many ridiculous questions”! I think you are tired of living!!! I'd better eat you now! To tell the truth, I am not grandma, I am a vampire, I bet you didn’t know?"
Oh! Little Red Riding Boot screamed and she shout out loudly that the vampire went deaf but it’s too late, the vampire had already gobbled her and drank the blood of pail Little Red Riding Boot had brought for her grandma. She went inside the vampire’s stomach.
Inside, Red Riding Boot use a magic called paralyze to stop the vampire from moving and she used bloody spear to kill the vampire.Then she used bloody knife to cut open the vampire's body,took his head and sold it for 300kk(300 million=300,000,000)
(The End)
Thx for paying attention!!
Fat Blue Riding Wood
Little Red wasn't like before. After her encounter with the wolf, she hadn't left granny's house. She was left very shaken that she kept on gobbling granny's pies to regain her strengh. Before she knew it she was puffed up like a pufferfish. Her granny saw her big appearance and told her to change her name to Fat Blue Riding Wood with her parents approval. She had to leave because granny's was too small to fit her. She kissed her granny and left for her house. The wolf still hadn't repented. He had many allies. One of his allies, funky monkey,saw Fat Red Ridiing Wood returning to her house, and informed the wolf. But he forgot to tell the wolf about her size. The wolf thought of his last meeting with her. He knew about her maritial art skills. The wolf took with two carbine machine guns and his favourite weapon, grenades. The two met each other on the way. When the wolf saw Fat Blue Riding Wood, he dropped his and looked at her with awe. He started to climb a tree. But before he reached the top, she had him in her gigantic arms. She dropped him and rolled over him like a roadroller. By the time she stopped, he was as flat as a fluke. She gave him a massive blow and sent him to hell once and for all. She gobbled two greenades to decrease her size to normal. The grenades exploded in her stomach and sent the fats away from her stomach. She returned home as Little Red Riding Hood. She lived happily ever after.
Once upon a time, there live a girl called Mary, whose Granny is very ill, in a very old village.
One day, she brought soome fruits to her Granny, whose house is at another village. Her mother told Mary not to go through the forest that is in between her house and her Granny's house when she is leaving her house, but Mary insisted of walking through the forest instead of going a big round to her Granny's house and this is also a safer way.
On Mary's way through the forest to her Granny's house, a sly fox tailed her. The fox ran as quickly as it can to Mary's Granny's house as not to let Mary know that it is tailing her after it found out where her Granny's house was at Mary's house before she come out of the house. The sly fox went to Mary's Granny's house and pretended to Mary's Granny's that it is Mary by changing its voice to Mary's voice.
The sly fox knocked on Mary's Granny's door and called out to Mary' Granny,"Granny! Open the door! I'm Mary here! I've brought you some fruits to eat."
"I didn't lock the door, so just open it and come in my dear," Granny replied.
"Ok," said the fox.
"You are not Mary. You are a fox! How dare you use my dear Mary to cheat me!" Granny said angrily but actually, she's very scared of being eaten up by the fox and she cannot fight back as she's very ill and weak.
"Too bad. If I didn't pretend myself as Mary, I wouldn't have know that you didn't lock the door and come in to eat you up," the fox said proudly."No time to chat with you. I've to eat you up now." The fox moved towards Mary's Granny and ate her with a few big bites. It quickly disguise itself as Mary's Granny and lie down on her bed and wait for Mary.
(to be continued.....)
continue from guo yuanchang said
The fox waited for a while, it heard Mary calling out to her Granny,"Granny! Open the door! I'm Mary here! I've brought you some fresh fruits to eat."
"I didn't lock the door, so just open it and come in my dear," the fox replied.
"Ok," said Mary.
Mary went in and towards her Granny's bed where the fox is lying on then."What big eyes you have!"said Mary when she saw the fox's eyes.
"To see you more clearer,"the fox replied.
"What big mouth you have!"said Mary when you saw the fox's mouth.
"To eat you up faster,"the fox replied.
"What big ears you have!"said Mary.
"To hear you clearly,"replied the fox."Come here Mary, pass me the fruits you brought for me to eat,please."
"Ok, wait, I go and squeeze the juice of the tomato out for you to drink,"replied Mary. Mary went into the kitchen and came out with a bowl of red colour liquid."Here Granny, your tomato juice is ready. Please try it."
"Ok,"answered the fox happily.It drank down the red liquid. It threw the bowl of red liquid away and shouted"Hot!Hot!This is not tomato juice!This is chilli sauce!"
Mary quickly went into the kitchen and take a vegetable knife out and shouted"You sly fox, I'll kill you! Return me Granny back! Return my Granny back!" while she stabbed at the fox's head, hands and legs etc until the fox die.
After the fox died, Mary used the vegetable knife and cut open the fox's stomach and save her Granny out of the fox stomach. Her Granny was soon hospitalised after Mary told her parents about the incident.
Saddam Hussein and Litter Colorless Raiding Boots
Jeremy and Marcus
Once upon a time, there was a little girl called Litter Colorless Raiding Boots. She wanted to go to her grandmother’s house who stayed in United States of America. She brought chocolate along with her which will not melt for a few days. In the plane, she met Saddam Hussein. They became friends in the plane. When they reach their destination, they alighted the plane. They went to the same place.
She was surprised to know that he, Saddam Hussein, was his grandfather. The grandparents had a reunion dinner together with litter colorless raiding boots. In the middle of the night, Saddam Hussein took out a knife and wanted to kill grandmother. The grandmother died and he took over the grandmother’s place.
When Litter Colorless Raiding Boots woke up and saw her grandfather on her grandmother bed, she asked her grandfather where did grandmother go. Her grandfather took out a knife and wanted to kill Litter Colorless Raiding Boots. Upon seeing the knife, she opened the door and ran out. She took out the phone and called George Washington
Lim Chu Beng. His army came and killed Saddam Hussein.
They all felt sad for Litter Colorless Raiding Boots as her grandmother died.
Big Fat Hiding Goat met Osama!~
(by: weiyin and joey)
• Big Fat Hiding Goat’s parents were killed by osama looooooonnnnnnngg time ago.
• grandmother kidnapped by osama.
• grandmother’s house at MLC.
• osama take over grandmother and dressed as her.
• instead of being sick, the ‘grandmother’ was teaching other students before Big Fat Hiding Goat came.
• flowers became assessment books.
• walking to grandmother’s house for tuition.
• grandmother’s English VERY GOOD.
• Osama raped Big Fat Hiding Goat in the house while having tuition.
• Osama started touching her big fat legs.
• Big Fat Hiding Goat knew martial arts and kungfu.
• Big Fat Hiding Goat fought with Osama and threatened to kill him if he didn’t tell where her parents were buried at.
• Osama told her where her parents’ body were buried at.
• Osama got killed by Big Fat Hiding Goat.
• Big Fat Hiding Goat went to find her parent’s body.
• Big Fat Hiding Goat bought 2 coffins and laid her parents there.
Five years ago, Osama killed Big Fat Hiding Goat’s parents in their house and left Big Fat Hiding Goat with her grandmother only. He planned to kill her whole family because Big Fat Hiding Goat’s great-grandfather killed Osama’s parents as well.
Recently, nobody knew that Osama returned and was about to take revenge. Osama arrived in MLC where the grandmother was and tied her up and threw her into the shed at the back of MLC. When Big Fat Hiding Goat was going to MLC to have tuition with her grandmother, Osama changed to grandmother’s clothes and put on some of her make-ups.
When she arrived, she saw Grandmother playing the computer instead of teaching the pupil before her. Grandmother turned around and said,” Come, my little grand daughter, let’s start our tuition now. Take out your books.”
While they were having tuition, “grandmother” started touching her big fat goat’s thigh. Luckily, Big Fat Hiding Goat knew martial arts. She screamed and got up. She gave Osama one tight slap and knew his true identity straight away. She used her most powerful skill which she learnt from her kungfu class. Before she killed Osama, Big Fat Hiding Goat threatened and forced Osama to tell her where her parents’ bodies were buried at.
After Osama died, Big Fat Hiding Goat found her parents’ body in Osama’s house and bought 2 coffins for her parents to leave the world…PEACEFULLY.
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